(It’s a quiet day in the shop, so I’m busy prepping films to process. A middle-aged lady enters, so I put everything down and greet her.)
Customer: “Hello, my love; do you print photos from digital cameras?”
Me: “We do indeed! We just need your memory card or a USB cable if you have your camera with you.”
Customer: “Oh, good! I’ve brought this in; my pictures are on it.”
(She rummages around in her handbag, and finally places a small oblong of plastic on the counter.)
Me: “I’m ever so sorry, but we’re not going to be able to get your photos from that.”
Customer: “Oh, no! Why not?”
Me: “This is your battery.”

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(My photo lab has two self-serve machines for customers to order prints of their photos. They either put in electronic media, such as a CD, or camera memory card, or they can scan a print into the computer.)
Customer: “What do I do first?”
Me: “Well, we will scan your pictures, and then tell it what you want.”
(The customer shows me an album of wedding photos that were taken approximately in the 1950s-60s.)
Me: “Unfortunately, these are still protected by [United States] federal copyright law. For anything less than 75 years old, we need permission from the person hired to take the pictures.”
Customer: “But how does the machine know they’re copyrighted?”
Me: “Uh… it doesn’t. That’s my job. We look at each order before printing, to make sure we have proper documentation so we don’t break the law.”
Customer: “Then how do you know they’re less than 75 years old?!”
Me: “They didn’t have cars like that in the 1930s!”
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Needs To Learn Copy-Right And Wrong

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Customer: *hands me a photo* “Hello there. Can you help me scan and make duplicates of a photo?”
Me: “Sure thing! We just use this scanner here—”
(At that moment, I look at photo and notice a white camera strap taking up half the photo. I can see the camera’s brand name on the strap, blurred but readable.)
Me: “Uh, excuse me? Are you sure you want to scan this photo? It seems the camera strap got caught in the lens.”
Customer: “Really? I didn’t notice that. Where is it?”
Me: “Right here, ma’am.” *points at the camera strap*
Customer: “HOW DARE YOU! That’s the spirit of my grandfather! How can you even claim it is a camera strap!?! You are just a terrible employee!” *storms off*

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(An elderly lady comes in with a very blurry and old photo she wants made bigger.)
Customer: “This is a photo of my son. He was in a band in the 80′s! I want it made bigger!”
Me: “Madam, this photo is very damaged, blurry and old. It’s probably better that you get it just the standard size so you won’t notice the loss of quality so much.”
Customer: “What do you mean it’s no good? This photo is a good photo! I want it about A4 size!”
Me: “Okay. Do you happen to have the negative?”
Customer: “No, it never had a negative. It was taken with a digital camera!”
Me: “It must have a negative. They didn’t have digital camera’s in the 80′s.”
Customer: “Yes they did! It was digitised!”
Me: “Okay, madam. I will just use this photo and make it bigger for you. It’ll take me about an hour to get it done. But I am just letting you know that the quality will be very bad.”
Customer: “It will look good, don’t you worry. That’s my son! He always looks good!”
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Customer: “Can you make me a copy of this picture?”
Me: “We can not copy this picture without a copyright release. It was professionally taken.”
Customer: “Oh. Well, I took this picture.”
Me: “Sir, you’re in the picture.”
Customer: “Yeah.”
Me: “Then, who was behind the camera?”
Customer: “Some other guy…”

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