Her Phone’s Not Much To Look At

| London, UK | Family & Kids, Technology, Uncategorized

Customer: “This compensation thing means you can get a phone back, right? I shouldn’t even have to pay. It’s your fault my daughter doesn’t have a phone!”

Me: “I’m sorry to hear that Ma’am. Could you please tell me what happened and how it’s our fault? We’ll try to rectify it. Did it break for no reason?”

Customer: “Her teacher took it! She was texting me and the teacher confiscated it! She has no phone until they give it back.”

Me: “Most schools do operate a ban on cell-phones during school hours and inform the students. Ma’am, how is this our fault?”

Customer: “You lot told me when I bought it that it would be perfect for teenagers! There should be something to stop it being seen in school!”

Me: “And how do you suppose we do that?”

Customer: “You’re the techno-geeks, you should be able to make it invisible on and off or something! God! You just don’t work hard enough!” *stomps out angrily*

It Would Explain Canada’s Lack Of Sun

| Toronto, ON, Canada | Canada, Technology, Tourists/Travel, Uncategorized

(I have just activated a new smart-phone for a customer. I am showing them how to set it up.)

Me: “…and that is how you would send a text message. Do you have any other questions?”

Customer: “The time is wrong on this phone.”

Me: “That’s because you haven’t selected the correct time zone. Here, I will show you the time setup.”

(I show the customer the list of time zones, and briefly leave her to answer another customer’s question.)

Customer: *impatiently* “Excuse me! Excuse me! This phone you have given me is broken!”

Me: “Broken? Why do you say that?”

Customer: “There is no ‘Canadian’ time zone! It keeps trying to put it on ‘Eastern’!”

Me: “Yes, that would be correct, it’s seven o’clock here.”

Customer: *indignantly* “We don’t live in the east! This is Canada!”

Atone For Sins, Make Peace With Maker, Close Phone Account

| Cincinnati, OH, USA | Uncategorized

Me: “How may I help you today?”

Customer: “I’d like to close my account.”

Me: “Well, I’m sorry to hear that, but I can assist you with that right here. May I ask why you’re closing your account today?”

Customer: “What? You don’t know?”

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, I don’t.”

Customer: “It’s the Armageddon!”

Me: “Uh, well, okay, ma’am, I’ll get your account closed right away… is there anything else I can do for you?”

Customer: “Watch your back, young lady! You’ll see! The Armageddon’s coming, make no mistake!” *hangs up*

Third Time’s A Charm For A Two-Faced One Track Mind

, | Washington, USA | Uncategorized

Me: “Thank you for calling [phone company], how may I help you today?”

Caller: “Um yeah, my phone stopped working. I need you guys to fix that for me.”

Me: “Certainly, sir. May I ask what exactly is the problem?”

Caller: “Well, the internet on my phone quit working a few days ago.”

Me: “Okay, I can definitely help you out with that. I do need your mobile phone number please…”

(The customer gives me his number, and I discover that his phone is not compatible with the internet plan on his account. Furthermore, he can not change it because the account is not in his name.)

Me: “…okay, so you understand why we cannot change that, right?”

Caller: “Yeah, I guess so. Thanks anyway, man.”

Me: “Not a problem sir. Thank you very much for choosing [phone company]. You have a wonderful day, sir.”

(This is where things get interesting. Instead of hanging up, I immediately hear the following…)

Female voice: “Aw baby, what’s wrong?”

Caller: “This f***ing douchebag wont fix my g**d*** phone! I’ve had this d***ed thing for three years, never had a problem with it, now this f*** wont help me out!”

Me: “Excuse me, sir? You never actually hung up the phone. Might I suggest we do that now before anything else is said?”

Caller: *brief pause* “… oh my God!I am so sorry! Oh my God sir, please don’t turn off my phone, PLEASE!”

Me: “Not a problem. Just please remember to hang up the phone, okay?”

(I wait for him to hang up a second time, but again, he doesn’t…)

Caller: “I can’t believe that f***ing p***k stayed on the phone! What we he trying to do?! A**hole! I mean, can’t he freaking help a guy out?!”

Female voice: *quietly* “I think you’re on speakerphone…”

Me: “Excuse me, sir? You forgot to hang up again.”

Caller: “S***! GIMME A BREAK!” *click*

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