Featured Story:
  • Always Time For A Rhyme
    (2,186 thumbs up)
  • Needs To Take A Chill Pill, Part 2

    | Sacramento, CA, USA | Health & Body

    Me: “Thank you for calling [Pharmacy], how can I—”

    Customer: “So I just requested a refill, and I want to know when it will be ready.”

    Me: “Okay, what is your name?”

    (The customer gives her name. I see that no refill was requested. The medication is out of refills, and needs approval from the doctor.)

    Me: “I am very sorry, but we must not have gotten your refill request. I see that there are no refills available. I am going to have to fax the doctor.”

    Customer: “I did that. I went to their site and asked the doctor to do that. It should have just given my request to you, and it should be ready by now.”

    Me: “So, which website did you go to? Was it ours, or your doctor’s site?”

    Customer: “His, duh! How can you be that stupid? I requested it, and you see that request, and then you just fill out the paper to give me refills. All the doctor does is sign it. It should take like all of five minutes to get that done. So when the h*** is my prescription going to be ready?!”

    Me: “Ma’am, I am sorry. We are in no way connected to your doctor’s office. They have their own software, and we have ours. We cannot in any way see what you have requested with your doctor’s office. We have to wait until he contacts us, and sometimes that can take up to three days for a response. Now if you are out of this medica—”

    Customer: “This is unacceptable! I know how these computer things work. You can look up any person’s prescriptions anywhere and anytime, no matter what pharmacy they are at! Now fill my f****** prescription!”

    Me: “Ma’am, there is no way I can do that. That would be in direct violation of federal law. There is a privacy act that means that we cannot share medical information with anyone else without your direct consent. Would you like it if I could access your medical record right now and see things like what you went to the ER for?”

    (Note: this customer is a notorious drug seeker, and is well known at ERs and Urgent Cares throughout the area. She also knows that we know.)

    Customer: “…uh, no.”

    Me: “That’s why we can’t see anything your doctor may have on you, or what requests you may have made to him. It’s to protect your privacy. Now since this isn’t a narcotic, I can ask the pharmacist if we can advance you some of your medication until we hear back from the doctor.”

    Customer: “Uh yeah, okay. That will be fine then.”

    (My pharmacist later pulls me to the side and tells me that I did a great job with a difficult customer, and with keeping my cool. Come Christmas time, I got a few extra bucks in my bonus!)

    Related:
    Needs To Take A Chill Pill

    Probably Needs Some Valium Too

    | AL, USA | Bad Behavior, Health & Body

    (A customer comes into the drive thru.)

    Me: “Hello, how are you, ma’am?”

    Customer: “I want my Nexium.”

    (She provides her information, but I see that nothing has been filled.)

    Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am; I don’t see that we have anything ready for you.”

    Customer: “This always f****** happens! I’ve been trying to get my f****** Nexium for a month! I dropped it off here a month ago!”

    Me: “You dropped it off at this location?”

    (I ask this, as there are many branches of our chain within a 10 mile radius of each other.)

    Customer: “Yes, I only fill here!”

    Me: “Ma’am, there is no Nexium in your profile.”

    Customer: “Yes their f****** is! This always f****** happens!”

    (My coworker takes over, trying to calm her down. My manager has had enough of her mouth, and he goes to tell her off.)

    Manager: “Ma’am! You have never filled here! It is not here! We have nothing for you!”

    (The customer continues to curse up a storm. Another customer stares at the drive thru window, looking between it and me.)

    Customer #2: “That b**** be crazy.”

    Me: “I agree, sir.”

    (I suddenly hear the drive thru window slam, and the car speed away.)

    Me: “Sorry you had to hear all that, sir.”

    Customer #2: “Nah it’s cool. Hey if something happens, I heard everything!”

    Don’t Ask What He Puts In His Granola

    | SC, USA | Funny Names

    (A customer comes in, and looks confused for several minutes.)

    Me: “Sir, can I help you find something?”

    Customer: “Where is the yogurt?”

    Me: “All of our dairy products are in the cooler.”

    Customer: “No, yogurt. You know, yogurt that you put under your arms.”

    Me: “…you mean deodorant?”

    Customer: “Yes, yogurt!”

    Me: “…aisle four.”

    Prescribing Perspective

    | AL, USA | Awesome Customers, Health & Body, Top

    Me: “How may I help you, ma’am?”

    Customer #1: “I’m picking up a script for [name].”

    (I proceed to look it up. However, the system alerts me that we do not have anything ready.)

    Me: “I don’t see that we have anything ready for you, ma’am.”

    Customer #1: “What do you mean, you don’t have anything! They called two days ago!”

    Me: “I apologize, ma’am. If a prescription sits on our shelf for too long, we have to put it back on our stock shelf.”

    Customer #1: “It’s only been a week! That’s just stupid! Give me back my script! I’ll go to [rival store]! Only one week! Absurd!”

    (I escort her to my co-worker, so that I may help the other customers in line.)

    Customer #2: “Oh, honey, I think I may have done the same thing and waited too long; can you check?”

    Me: “Certainly, sir.”

    (I check, and indeed his was placed back to stock as well.)

    Me: “Yes, sir, I’m afraid so.”

    (Customer #2 speaks loud enough for everyone to hear.)

    Customer #2: “Oh, shoot. IT’S PURELY MY FAULT FOR FORGETTING, EVEN AFTER Y’ALL WERE SO NICE TO CALL ME TWICE. Thank you, sugar; I’ll go talk to [co-worker].”

    100% Idiot

    | UK | Extra Stupid, Health & Body, Top

    (An angry customer approaches me.)

    Customer: “I purchased a pregnancy test from here, and it doesn’t work! I want my money back! I’ll never come here again! Stupid thing didn’t work!”

    Me: “Okay… did you use it properly?”

    Customer: “Do I look like an idiot?! I peed on a stick. Anyone can pee on a f****** stick!”

    Me: “Did any type of line come up?”

    Customer: “No, not a single line. Just a f****** number 30. How can I be 30% pregnant?”

    Me: “Well, this is the first I’ve heard about this. Do you have the box with you so I can check if there have been any problems before?”

    (The customer hands me the box. I stare at it and try not to laugh.)

    Me: “Uh… you do realise that this is a thermometer, right?”

    Customer: *runs out of the store*

    Page 7/28First...56789...Last