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    No ID, No Idea, Part 13

    | Drexel Hill, PA, USA | Liars & Scammers, Theme Of The Month

    (I have recently been hired at a pharmacy a few towns over from mine. It’s my second day as cashier, when a teen girl comes to my register. I’m 22 and wearing a name tag.)

    Customer: “Hi, I’d like a pack of [brand] cigarettes please.”

    Me: “No problem, I just need to see your ID.”

    Customer: “Oh, well it’s at my house and I don’t have time to run back and get it. Can’t you let me go this time?”

    Me: “Sorry, it’s not worth my job.”

    Customer: “But you know me!”

    Me: “I can’t say that I do.”

    Customer: “Dude, [my name], we go to high school together.”

    Me: “Oh really? What high school do you go to?”

    Customer: “[Local High School]. We totally have English together.”

    Me: “Yeah, no. First of all I went to [Rival High School]. Second, I was in AP English, the scores of which I used to go to [University], which I just graduated from. So no, I don’t know you. Show me ID or move along.”

    Customer: “You suck.”

    (She leaves and asks the next few visibly older customers to buy her cigarettes. No one buys them, and one even threatens to call the cops if she doesn’t leave!)

    Related:
    No ID, No Idea, Part 12
    No ID, No Idea, Part 11
    No ID, No Idea, Part 10
    No ID, No Idea, Part 9

    Drugs Can Make You See Things

    | Canada | At The Checkout, Funny Names, Health & Body, Top

    (I am at the pharmacy picking up my prescription. I am standing in line behind a very elderly lady.)

    Pharmacist: “Hello, ma’am. What can I do for you?”

    Elderly Lady: “I am picking up my prescription. It’s under Mrs. [last name].”

    (I overhear the elderly lady, and realize that she has the same last name as I do. This is not a totally uncommon name, but it doesn’t happen too often.)

    Pharmacist: “Okay! Here we go I think it’s… huh…”

    (The pharmacist looks confused as she picks up some pills.)

    Pharmacist: “Can you tell me your first name please? I don’t think I grabbed the right one.”

    Elderly Lady: “Sure, it’s [first name].”

    (By a crazy coincidence, this is my first name too! At this point the pharmacist widens her eyes in shock as she stares at the pill box in her hand. She starts to stammer.)

    Pharmacist: “But… um… I don’t… uhh… how?”

    Me: “Um, I think those might be mine. I have the same first name and last name. Those are my birth control pills.”

    Pharmacist: “Oh thank GOD! I thought I was in the twilight zone!”

    Elderly Lady: “Oh dear! No wonder! No I don’t want THOSE!”

    Stupidity Is Its Own Reward, Part 2

    | Jersey City, NJ, USA | At The Checkout, Extra Stupid

    (I’m about to ring a customer up. I’m supposed to ask if they have our rewards card, and if they say no, I offer them to sign up for it, as it’s free of charge and relatively quick to do.)

    Me: “Good evening, ma’am. Do you have a rewards card?”

    Customer: “No. What’s the benefit of it?”

    Me: “The rewards card allows you to get the sale prices of whatever’s on sale for the week, and with certain sale items and over the counter medications. You build up rewards points, which you can use to save money later on.”

    Customer: “Okay. Do I need anything for it?”

    Me: “All we need is some basic info, just for identification purposes. Would you like to sign up? It’s free of charge.”

    Customer: *says nothing, fumbles around her purse*

    Me: “Ma’am? Would you like to sign up for the card?”

    (The customer takes out her credit card and swipes it, paying for the purchase.)

    Me: “Okay.”

    (I hand her the receipt and her bags.)

    Me: “Have a good night.”

    Customer: “So, do I get the rewards now?”

    Me: *screaming internally*

    Related:
    Stupidity Is Its Own Reward

    You Really Don’t Want That On An Open Wound

    | Canada | Funny Names, Health & Body

    (I’m currently doing inventory at the local pharmacy where I work. An older customer comes up to me with her friend, in a panic.)

    Customer: “Can you help me?! I need some ‘Polysperm’!”

    (I assume she means ‘Polysporin’, the topical ointment that treats infections.)

    Me: “Did you mean ‘Polysporin’?”

    Customer: “Oh, no! I DEFINITELY need some ‘Polysperm’!”

    Me: “I’m sorry; I haven’t heard of that product. May I ask what you are using it for?”

    Customer: “Oh, I scraped my elbow, and want to put that ‘Polysperm’ on it!”

    Me: “Okay, let me show you where it’s stocked.”

    (I point to the display of ‘Polysporin’.)

    Customer: *to her friend* “Young kids these days! They don’t know anything!”

    An Impatient Patient

    | Yorkshire, England, UK | At The Checkout, Bad Behavior, Health & Body

    (It is a Sunday, so not many pharmacies are open. I’ve come in with my friend, who is rather unwell. The staff know my husband and I quite well, as we’re in there for our regular medication. Additionally, I have multiple piercings, a rather large tattoo on my nape of my neck, and teal green hair.)

    Pharmacist: “Won’t be long; please take a seat.”

    (We do, and I give the tech I know well a smile and a nod in greeting. Another customer enters.)

    Customer: “How long will it be for my medication?”

    Pharmacist: “About 20 minutes. We have a few people in front of you.”

    Customer: “Fine. I wouldn’t come here if you weren’t the only pharmacy open on a bloody Sunday; you’re always slow!”

    (The pharmacist brushes it off and goes to make up medications.)

    Customer: “I’m only having to wait this long because of stupid drug freaks.”

    (My friend turns to say something, but I put my hand on her arm and shake my head.)

    Customer: “Yeah, I mean you, green freak! What, come in for your methadone early, and they won’t give it to you?”

    (I’ve deliberately turned my back on him at this point.)

    Customer: “F****** druggies! We pay for you to get f****** high.”

    Pharmacy Tech: “Sir, can you watch your language please?”

    Customer: “No I f****** won’t! That stupid b**** is the reason I have to wait so f****** long! She’s strung out, look at the f****** circles under her eyes; they’re all bloodshot!”

    Pharmacy Tech: “I’ll have you know that young lady there is a full-time carer for her husband, who is disabled. And all this whilst being disabled herself. She looks like she hasn’t slept in a week because she probably hasn’t; between caring for him, volunteering with [national advice organization], and helping out her friend here who is rather unwell. And I don’t personally care if my taxes are being used to help her out; I wish there were more people like her out there!”

    Customer: “I… I… I demand to see a pharmacist!”

    Pharmacist: “Sir, I am not going to reprimand my tech for handling that much better than I would have. Do not insult my customers. Here is your prescription back; please fill it somewhere else.”

    (The customer stomps out.)

    Me: “I’m really sorry I caused that.”

    Pharmacist: “Eh, don’t worry; he’s always an a** when he comes in here. Besides, he has an exemption certificate, which means our taxes are paying for his meds too!”


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