Featured:
  • Retract The Tract
    (2,298 thumbs up)
  • July Theme Of The Month: Great Timing!

    The Test Is Inconclusive

    | Bergen, Norway | Bizarre, Health & Body

    (I work as a headmaster and one day drive to the local mall during lunch. One of the teachers asks to ride with me as she has an errand to run. When we get to the mall we split up, and then we meet up at the car a little later to go back to the school. The teacher is nine months pregnant when this happens.)

    Teacher: *suddenly laughs, apparently for no reason*

    Me: “What?”

    Teacher: “I just realized why the shop assistant at the chemist was looking at me as if I am completely nuts!”

    Me: “Why?”

    Teacher: “Well, one of the girls in my class was really worried that she might be pregnant, and I offered to get a pregnancy test for her. So there I came, waddling in with my huge belly, and I asked where the pregnancy tests were. The look the guy gave me was priceless!”

    Can’t Stretch To Accommodate This Call

    | Southaven, MS, USA | Bad Behavior, Rude & Risque, Theme Of The Month

    Customer: “Hi, I needed to ask you some questions about condoms.”

    Me: “Okay, go ahead.”

    Customer: “Well, you see I have a problem. All the condoms seem to be too small and are very tight.”

    Me: “Okay, well they do make larger condoms such as Trojan Magnums.”

    Customer: “Well, I’ve tried those and even those are too small for me.”

    Me: “Well, I’ve never really heard of that, since condoms are designed to be very stretchy.”

    Customer: “I’ve just tried all sorts of condoms. What I really need is for you to help me try on the condom.”

    Me: *click*

    Pretty In Pink-Orange

    | San Francisco, CA, USA | Bigotry, Bizarre, Holidays

    (Last year I dyed my hair bright red, and by October it was starting to fade out to a pink-orange. I was used to getting a lot of comments about my hair and most were positive so I was taken by surprise when I was ringing up an older customer a few days before Halloween.)

    Husband: “Is that your real hair?”

    Me: “Yes. it is.”

    Husband: “Well. I like it. It’s nice. You look very pretty.”

    Me: “Thank you.”

    (His wife looks at him with a face that says she doesn’t appreciate him complimenting me.)

    Husband: *to his wife* “Well, she’s Halloween pretty, anyway.”

    Me: “…here’s your receipt. Have a nice night…”

    (My manager and I still haven’t figured out if I should take that as a compliment or insult, yet.)

    Allergic To Common Sense, Part 2

    | Hampshire, England, UK | Bad Behavior, Health & Body

    Customer: “I’m allergic to tree pollen, but I don’t have hay fever, so don’t try to sell me any hay-fever medication!”

    New Colleague: “Sir, an allergy to tree pollen is hay fever. If you take these it will help.”

    Customer: “It say’s trainee on your badge. You don’t know what you’re talking about! I’d like to speak to a more senior member of staff!”

    (The new colleague fetches me. I am 20 years younger than my colleague.)

    Me: “What seems to be the problem, sir?”

    Customer: “I asked to speak to a senior member of staff! Why are you getting involved?!”

    Me: “As I’ve been here the longest. I am more than capable of answering any problems you may have.”

    Customer: “This is ridiculous! You’re a child. You can’t possibly be able to deal with the responsibility! Get me someone more senior!”

    (I go and get the pharmacist who has been listening to the whole thing.)

    Customer: “Finally, an adult who knows what they’re doing! How can you leave a child in charge of your chemist counter?”

    Pharmacist: “Well, sir, [My Name] has passed all of her courses with the highest mark we’ve ever seen in this store, so I’m perfectly happy to let her deal with any queries, but as I’m here – what’s the problem?

    Customer: *looking sheepish* “I’m allergic to tree pollen and want something for it.”

    Pharmacist: “That’s called hay fever; try an antihistamine.”

    Related
    Allergic To Common Sense

    Methadone And Done

    | UK | At The Checkout, Crazy Requests

    (I work behind the chemist counter and a lot of addicts come in to get their methadone. This one turns up five minutes before closing.)

    Customer: “Here you go.” *hands over her prescription*

    Me: “Thanks, I’ll just go get the pharmacist for you.”

    (Whilst she’s waiting she notices the slides we used to detach our counter-caches which store all of the notes.)

    Customer: “What are those?”

    Colleague: “Those get the counter-caches off for us, for cashing up.”

    (The customer picks one up and starts playing with it.)

    Me: “The pharmacist will be right out.”

    Customer: “No problem. In the meantime I’d like one of these.” *hands me the slide for the counter-caches*

    Me: *thinking she’s joking* “Um, sorry, I don’t think that’s allowed.”

    Customer: “Don’t laugh at me! GIVE ME THE F****** COUNTER THING!”

    (It escalated from there. She refused to leave the shop or take her methadone, and we had to call the police and stand there whilst she trashed the store. We ended up staying an hour late to clean it all up. The pharmacist rang her doctor and asked for her to be sent somewhere else for her methadone and possibly be given a stronger dose.)

    Page 3/3112345...Last