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    Teenage Boys And Smutty Mags? You Don’t Say!

    | Columbus, OH, USA | Family & Kids, Religion, Rude & Risque, Top

    Angry Old Woman: “Excuse me! I am very upset because you sold my young grandson pornography!”

    Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but we don’t sell pornography.”

    Angry Old Woman: “Get me the manager now!”

    Manager: “What seems to be the problem, ma’am?”

    Angry Old Woman: “Your pervert cashier sold my grandson pornography!”

    Manager: “Are you sure about that? We don’t sell anything like that here.”

    Angry Old Woman: “Do you think I’m stupid? I saw it with my own eyes! It had naked women and he told me he bought it here with no problem!”

    Manager: “Could you show me on the shelf what it was?”

    (She goes over to the magazines, and points at Maxim.)

    Angry Old Woman: “It was this one! See right here! Where any child could see!”

    Manager: “Ma’am, this magazine is not pornography. Granted, the women are scantily clad in a few pictures but they aren’t naked and there is no age restriction on its sale.”

    Angry Old Woman: “I know pornography when I see it, and this is very offensive. How could you sell it to young children?”

    Manager: “Well, actually our store policy dictates that we won’t sell this to a young child even though it is still legal. How old is your grandson?”

    Angry Old Woman: “He’s only sixteen!”

    Manager: *rolls eyes* “I don’t want to offend your moral beliefs, Ma’am, but if your sixteen year old grandson wants to look at women in bikinis there is no force on earth that is going to stop it, seriously.”

    Angry Old Woman: “The power of Jesus can stop it! The power of Christ should compel you to remove this magazine from your shelves!”

    Manager: “Right…real quick, ma’am, before I get back to work, can I ask you a question? Does your grandson have internet access?”

    Angry Old Woman: “What does that have to do with anything?”

    Manager: “A lot, and I think that the power of Christ should compel you to learn how to look up his browser history. Have a good day.”

    Where The Sun Don’t Shine, Bungholio

    | Dallas, TX, USA |

    Customer: “These things don’t work! They are hard to swallow and I nearly choked to death.”

    Me: “Ma’am, they are suppositories. You don’t swallow them, you insert them rectally.”

    Customer: “What does that mean?”

    Me: “You unwrap them and insert them in your rectum.”

    Customer: “What’s my rectum?”

    Me: “Ma’am, please forgive me, but your rectum is your butt hole.”

    Customer: “Well up yours too!” *stalks off*

    (This is not the first time someone misunderstood when we explained how to use a suppository. It’s the only time we can tell a patient “up yours” and get away with it!)

    How About Some Ritalin While You’re At It

    | Georgia, USA |

    (Our insurance transmitter was experiencing problems, so we were unable to transmit to any insurance companies when filling prescriptions. I explained this to one customer, who decided to sit and wait for a while to see if the transmitter would come back up. Meanwhile another customer came in with a prescription.)

    New Customer: “Hi, I’d like this filled please.”

    Me: *explains transmitter problem*

    New Customer: “Oh that’s okay, I don’t have insurance.”

    Me: “No problem, we’ll have it ready in just a few minutes.”

    Original Customer: “Wait! I was ahead of her! Why isn’t mine ready!?”

    Me: “We are still waiting for the insurance transmitter to come back up, sir.”

    Original Customer: “Well how did you fill hers!”

    New Customer: “I pay cash, I don’t have prescription coverage.”

    Original Customer: “Well I pay cash too!”

    Me: “You want to just get it at retail price, and not use insurance?”

    Original Customer: “Yes! I have cash! I’ll pay for it, just fill it now!”

    (5 minutes later…)

    Me: “Okay sir, we’ve got you ready. The total comes to $35.99.”

    Original Customer: “WHAT! My co-pay is only $3.00!”

    Me: “Sir, you said you wanted to go ahead and pay cash price since the insurance transmitter is still down.”

    Original Customer: “I do have cash! See?” *shows wallet with cash in it* “Why is it $35?! You people don’t know anything! I’m taking my business elsewhere!”

    Me: *face palm*

    Back In My Day, Pills Fell Like Mana From The Heavens

    | Hopewell Junction, NY, USA |

    (I was cashiering the closing shift on a Sunday night. The pharmacy closes earlier than the rest of the store on weekends. A customer comes in at 9:30pm.)

    Customer: “Oh sh*t! The pharmacy is closed?!”

    Me: “Yes, they close at 6pm on weekends. They will open again at 8am tomorrow morning.”

    Customer: “But I need a prescription filled.”

    Me: “I’m sorry sir, but the pharmacist will not be here until 8am tomorrow morning.”

    Customer: “Can’t you do it?”

    Me: “No…”

    Customer: “Why not?!”

    Me: “I’m not a pharmacist.”

    Customer: “Don’t be a smart a**!”

    Me: “I’m sorry, sir. Only a pharmacist can fill your prescription.”

    Customer: “What is this world coming to?!” *storms out*

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