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  • Bigotry Comes In All Shapes And Sizes
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    Where The Sun Don’t Shine, Bungholio

    | Dallas, TX, USA |

    Customer: “These things don’t work! They are hard to swallow and I nearly choked to death.”

    Me: “Ma’am, they are suppositories. You don’t swallow them, you insert them rectally.”

    Customer: “What does that mean?”

    Me: “You unwrap them and insert them in your rectum.”

    Customer: “What’s my rectum?”

    Me: “Ma’am, please forgive me, but your rectum is your butt hole.”

    Customer: “Well up yours too!” *stalks off*

    (This is not the first time someone misunderstood when we explained how to use a suppository. It’s the only time we can tell a patient “up yours” and get away with it!)

    How About Some Ritalin While You’re At It

    | Georgia, USA |

    (Our insurance transmitter was experiencing problems, so we were unable to transmit to any insurance companies when filling prescriptions. I explained this to one customer, who decided to sit and wait for a while to see if the transmitter would come back up. Meanwhile another customer came in with a prescription.)

    New Customer: “Hi, I’d like this filled please.”

    Me: *explains transmitter problem*

    New Customer: “Oh that’s okay, I don’t have insurance.”

    Me: “No problem, we’ll have it ready in just a few minutes.”

    Original Customer: “Wait! I was ahead of her! Why isn’t mine ready!?”

    Me: “We are still waiting for the insurance transmitter to come back up, sir.”

    Original Customer: “Well how did you fill hers!”

    New Customer: “I pay cash, I don’t have prescription coverage.”

    Original Customer: “Well I pay cash too!”

    Me: “You want to just get it at retail price, and not use insurance?”

    Original Customer: “Yes! I have cash! I’ll pay for it, just fill it now!”

    (5 minutes later…)

    Me: “Okay sir, we’ve got you ready. The total comes to $35.99.”

    Original Customer: “WHAT! My co-pay is only $3.00!”

    Me: “Sir, you said you wanted to go ahead and pay cash price since the insurance transmitter is still down.”

    Original Customer: “I do have cash! See?” *shows wallet with cash in it* “Why is it $35?! You people don’t know anything! I’m taking my business elsewhere!”

    Me: *face palm*

    Back In My Day, Pills Fell Like Mana From The Heavens

    | Hopewell Junction, NY, USA |

    (I was cashiering the closing shift on a Sunday night. The pharmacy closes earlier than the rest of the store on weekends. A customer comes in at 9:30pm.)

    Customer: “Oh sh*t! The pharmacy is closed?!”

    Me: “Yes, they close at 6pm on weekends. They will open again at 8am tomorrow morning.”

    Customer: “But I need a prescription filled.”

    Me: “I’m sorry sir, but the pharmacist will not be here until 8am tomorrow morning.”

    Customer: “Can’t you do it?”

    Me: “No…”

    Customer: “Why not?!”

    Me: “I’m not a pharmacist.”

    Customer: “Don’t be a smart a**!”

    Me: “I’m sorry, sir. Only a pharmacist can fill your prescription.”

    Customer: “What is this world coming to?!” *storms out*


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