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    Yeah, Definitely Contraindicated

    | San Diego, CA, USA |

    (A patient walks up to the pick up window looking like he just came from the emergency room.)

    Me: “Hello, sir, how can I help you?”

    Customer: “I wanna drop this off…” *hands me an ER prescription*

    Me: “Sir, this is the pick up window. You need to drop off the prescription at the drop off window.”

    Customer: “Where’s that?”

    Me: “The counter at the entrance to the room with the big sign that says “Drop Off Window’.”

    Customer: “Where?”

    Me: “You know, you already waited in line so I’ll just take the prescription here. Have you ever had any medication here before?”

    Customer: “I don’t know, have I?”

    Me: “I’ll take that as a no. Do you have any allergies to medication?”

    Customer: “Well, when I mix heroin and battery acid, I get a rash.”

    Me: “… I’ll make a note on that.”

    Bilingual Secret Shame

    | Massachusetts, USA |

    Customer: “Excuse me, what are diaper couches?”

    Me: “I’m sorry?”

    Customer: “Diaper couches.”

    Me: “Ma’am, I’m not sure what you mean.”

    Customer: *points to the boxes of diapers* “That box! It says ‘diaper couches’.”

    Me: *suddenly understanding* “Ma’am, that box says diapers, and then it says ‘couches’. That’s the French word for diapers.”

    Customer: *looks around, then whispers* “Don’t tell anyone!” *leaves*

    Rip Van Winkle To The Extreme

    | Pittsburgh, PA, USA |

    Customer: “Hi, I have a rather simple question to ask you.”

    Me: “Sure thing. What can I help you with?”

    Customer: “Hypothetically speaking, if I wanted to make someone sleep for a really long time, what would I use?”

    Me: “Um, just how long are you talking?”

    Customer: “Well, I was thinking somewhere around forever.”

    Me: “…”

    MacGyver Becomes a Dad

    | Hampton, SC, USA |

    (A man was picking up a prescription for his infant child.)

    Customer: “How much did you say the prescription was?”

    Me: “$49.99.”

    Customer: “What’s the difference between this and what I can get over the counter?”

    Me: “There’s no cough medicine you can give your 8 month old, sir, other than this.”

    Customer: “Well, what’s in it?”

    (He picks up the prescription papers and starts rustling through them.)

    Customer: “If I can buy everything that’s in it over the counter, I’ll just make it myself.”

    Me: “…excuse me?”

    Perhaps Multiple Choice Might Be Easier

    | Sydney, Australia |

    Customer: “I’m after some cold and flu medication.”

    Me: “Sure, do you take any other medication?”

    Customer: “Um… no… I don’t thi-… wait, yes, but it’s… actually no, no, I don’t.”

    Me: “Okay then, and are you allergic to anything?”

    Customer: “God, this is too hard!” *storms out*


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