Not Always Right on Facebook Not Always Right on Twitter Not Always Right Unfiltered on Tumblr
Featured Story:
  • De-Engineering Stereotypes
    (1,827 thumbs up)
  • September Theme Of The Month: Return Of The Geeks!
    Submit your story today!

    Not A Case Of If, But When…

    | New Haven, CT, USA |

    (While waiting in line, I overhear a conversation between a teenager and a police officer, both of whom are also waiting. The boy has red plastic cups and ping pong balls in hand.)

    Officer: “Can I ask what those are for?”

    Teenage customer: “No, no questions.”

    Officer: “Where’s the party?”

    Teenage customer: “No parties.”

    (The kid checks out, and as he’s walking out the door yells “SODA PONG!” and flicks his wrist.)

    Officer, to me: “Yeah, I’ll get the call in a couple hours.”

    There’s No Pills Like Home

    | Long Island, NY, USA | Top

    (A patient called in to inquire about her medication she had just picked up.)

    Me: *on the phone* “Pharmacy.”

    Patient: “Hi, I just picked up this medication, and I think I may have a problem.”

    Me: “Is there something incorrect with how it was filled?”

    Patient: “No, it’s just that the cream here says to apply locally, and I’m going out of town tonight. I was wondering if I could still use it.”

    Me: “Um…yes, yes you can.”

    Patient: “Oh, OK good…. Oh…oh God. I just realized…oh my God, just forget I asked! How stupid of me!”

    On The Bright Side, There Are Worse Orifices

    | Roswell, GA, USA |

    Me: “*** Pharmacy, how can I help you?”

    Customer: “Yeah, your medicine is defective.”

    Me: “Sir, why don’t I get your information so I can take a look at your profile.”

    Customer: *gives his name and date of birth*

    Me: “I see that the last prescriptions you filled were antibiotic and drops for your ear infection. Are your symptoms still bothering you?”

    Customer: “Yes, and how the h*** do you expect me to fit this giant pill in my ear?”

    Me: “Sir, that’s an antibiotic tablet. It’s meant to be taken orally.”

    TMI Mom Tries To Help

    | Canada |

    (A forty-something year old woman comes to the counter with her purchases. Amongst them is a box of condoms, which have security stickers on them. Before I scan the item, I swipe it a few times over the scanner to deactivate it.)

    Customer: “Is it not scanning?”

    Me: “No, I’m just deactivating the security sticker. I don’t want you to set off the alarm on the way out. Especially over condoms!”

    Customer: “Oh I’m not embarrassed! They’re not for me, they’re for my son. I can’t even get an erection!”

    Script Stupidity

    | Des Moines, IA, USA |

    Customer: *holds up two bottles* “What’s the difference between these two medicines?”

    Me: “The one on the left is a capsule; the one on the right is a tablet.”

    Customer: “I mean, which one would be better?”

    Me: “They’re exactly the same medicine, just in different forms. Most people buy whichever one is easier for them to swallow.”

    Customer: “That’s just stupid! How can you swallow a bottle?”

    Page 22/26First...2021222324...Last