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    There’s No Pills Like Home, Part 2

    | New Jersey, USA |

    (My phone number is 1 number off a nearby pharmacy. We get a lot of misdials. My father happens to actually be a pharmacist but he doesn’t work there.)

    Me: “Hello?”

    Caller: “Hello? You just say Hello? How dare you be so rude! You should say “thank you for calling”!”

    Me: “Oh, you must be looking for [pharmacy]. You have the wrong number.”

    Caller: “Liar! How would you know what store I’m looking for? You’re just trying not to get in trouble. Give me your manager.”

    Me: “Ma’am, I don’t have a manager. You’ve called a private residence. The number for the pharmacy is close to our number, so we get a lot of wrong calls.”

    Caller: “This is outrageous! Give me your manager! I will not be treated this way!”

    (At this point the caller was rambling and being rude so I hung up the phone. She called back, and my father answered it.)

    Father: “Hello?”

    Caller: “Is this the manager? Thank god! I want to know if [drug] can be taken with food! And you should fire that girl that answered before, she was very rude to me! I want to file a complaint!”

    Father: “Ma’am, this is not the grocery store pharmacy. You just told off my 14-year old daughter. I happen to be a pharmacist. That drug does not need to be taken with food. However, you should see a doctor about your ears, as you clearly can’t hear a word anyone says.”

    Related:
    There’s No Pills Like Home

    Seriously Bad Hair Day

    | Melbourne, Australia |

    (It’s 10pm we are in the final motions of locking up, registers closed and lights off. I’m just locking the door.)

    Customer: *runs up in a panic* “Oh no! You are closed? It’s an emergency! I really need to buy one thing!”

    Me: “Sorry, we’re closed. Maybe you could come back in the morning.”

    Customer: “No! I can’t wait that long-this is an emergency! Please help me!”

    Me: “OK, I suppose I can help you quickly for an emergency. Do you need antibiotics or paracetamol or something?”

    Customer: “I need a packet of hair pins!”

    How To Seize The Moment

    | Tallmadge, OH, USA |

    (An elderly woman is having a seizure and obviously 911 was called to the scene.)

    Customer: “Excuse me, but when can I get my prescription?”

    Me: “Ma’am, this woman is having a seizure and needs medical attention right away.”

    Customer: “But I was here before her!”

    This One’s A No-Brainer

    | Sydney, Australia |

    Customer: “My mother is taking some medication and it is making her sick. Can you stop giving it to her?”

    Me: “I’ll have to ask the pharmacist for you. What medication is it?”

    Customer: “It’s a little white pill.”

    Me: “You don’t know the name of it, sir? We do have many white pills in the pharmacy.”

    Customer: “I think it’s for her heart…or her brain.”

    Noah Already Had Two Customers On The Ark

    | Iowa City, IA, USA |

    (Note: much of our area is suffering from massive flooding. A man walks into our chain pharmacy, completely drenched from the chest down.)

    Me: “Wow, what happened to you?”

    Customer: “I tried to go to your other location and it was closed!”

    Me: “That location is flooded, sir. There’s about four feet of water surrounding it.”

    Customer: “I know! I had to wade all the way up to the door before I found out it was closed! How do you think I got so wet?”

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