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    Sleepless Sleep Aids

    | South West England, UK | Extra Stupid

    (A woman comes to the counter.)

    Me: “Hello, how can I help you?”

    Customer: “I see you’ve got [sleep aid]. Does it come in a non-drowsy version?”

    Two Halves Make A Hole In Your Brain

    | Massachusetts, USA | Extra Stupid

    Me: “Thank you for calling the pharmacy, how can I help you?”

    Customer: “I’d like you to check how much my prescriptions are. My name is [name].”

    Me: “You have two prescriptions waiting for you. Each one is $2.50.”

    Customer: “So, how much does each one cost?”

    Me: “$2.50 each.”

    Customer: “So, one is $2.50. How much is the other one?”

    Me: “Each of your two prescriptions is $2.50.”

    Customer: “So, if I give you $5, how much will my change be?”

    Me: “Nothing.”

    Customer: *hangs up*

    Recipe For Disaster

    | Vancouver, WA, USA | Criminal/Illegal, Top

    (A customer comes up to the pharmacy counter. Keep in mind, Sudafed (pseudoephedrine) is controlled in all 50 states as it is used to make methamphetamine.)

    Customer: “I need some Sudafed.”

    Me: “Did you want Sudafed or [store brand]?”

    Customer: “What’s the difference?”

    Me: “The active ingredient is the same but sometimes they change the inactive ingredients. It still works the same though. Plus, [store brand] is about 5 bucks cheaper.”

    Customer: “The recipe said I need Sudafed.”

    Me: “…”

    Customer: *realizing what she said* “Um, s***. Never mind, I got to go.”

    Zombies Need Lawyers Too

    | Miami, FL, USA | Uncategorized, Zombies

    Me: “Ma’am, unfortunately we are waiting on your prescriber to contact the pharmacy because parts of your prescription were unclear.”

    Customer: “Are you telling me my prescription is not ready?”

    Me: “Yes, it is not ready.”

    Customer: “Well, if I die, I’m suing you!”

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    The Purchase Was A Pre-Medicated Decision

    | Joliet, IL, USA | Uncategorized

    (I am closing the pharmacy curtain. A customer comes up to the counter.)

    Customer: “I need to pick up my prescription for my pain medication. I’m in a lot of pain.”

    Me: “Okay. Just for future reference, the pharmacy closes at 9pm.”

    Customer: “I know. I was too busy getting an iPhone to get here while you were open.”

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