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    Ear-Waxing Lyrical About Bad Service

    | London, UK | Health & Body

    Customer: “I’ve come to pick up my prescription.”

    Me: “Oh I’m really sorry, due to extenuating circumstances we don’t have a pharmacist at the moment so legally I can’t give out any prescriptions. But if you wait 5 minutes, a replacement pharmacist will be here and then you can take it.”

    Customer: “But I need it. Give it to me!”

    Me: “I understand your problem but I would be breaking the law if I gave it to you.”

    Customer: “I work in the pharmaceutical industry and I know for a fact you are lying! Give it to me now!”

    (The pharmacist arrives and I explain the problem.)

    Pharmacist: “I’m really sorry for the inconvenience but my colleague was right, there was nothing she could do. But now that I’m here, you can take your prescription.”

    Customer: “You’re colleague is a cruel, moral-less b**** with the intelligence of a moron. She has endangered my life! I shall take this to court and win!” *storms out*

    Me: *to pharmacist* “What was in her prescription?”

    Pharmacist: “Drops for excessive ear wax.”

    Retired & Extremely Dangerous

    | Georgia, USA | Health & Body, Rude & Risque

    Me: “Thank you for call [Pharmacy], may I help you?”

    Elderly Female Customer: “I would like to get these two of my medications refilled and I want to pick them up tomorrow afternoon.”

    Me: “Okay ma’am, that will be fine. Is there anything else I can do for you?”

    Elderly Female Customer: “Honey, you can come to my house and do me anytime.”

    Me: “I, uh, oh, uh…”

    Elderly Female Customer: “I hope I didn’t offend you, but I’m old so I can say things like that!”

    Discount Discounted

    | Sherman Oaks, CA, USA | At The Checkout, Money

    Me: “And do you have a free rewards card with us, ma’am?”

    Customer: “A what? I don’t know. Maybe. I don’t know.”

    Me: “If you think you have one, I can look it up by your phone number?

    Customer: “My what?”

    Me: *louder* “Your phone number, ma’am.”

    Customer: “I don’t have one of those! I don’t think I have one! I don’t have a phone number! I don’t have one!”

    Me: “Okay, ma’am, that’s fine. Your total today is $26.74, and just to let you know, you could have saved $5.90 if you had the rewards card.”

    Customer: “A discount? My phone number is ***-****.”

    Will Power On Aisle 2

    | Canada | Rude & Risque

    Teenage girl: “Do you guys sell that contraceptive abstinence?”

    Me: “Abstinence?”

    Teenage girl: “Yeah! Abstinence! I read that it’s the only 100% way to not get pregnant!”

    Me: “That’s right. But, abstinence is to not have sex. Like abstain from.”

    Teenage girl: “Well, that just sucks!”

    Misunderstood ‘Total Coverage’

    | Detroit, MI, USA | Extra Stupid

    Me: “Our records show you’ve never had a prescription filled here before, so I’ll need an ID and your insurance.”

    Customer: “Here’s my ID. I don’t have my insurance on me, but it’s through [car insurance company].”

    Me: “Sir, I think that’s your car insurance. Do you have health insurance?”

    Customer: “You mean there’s more than one kind?”

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