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    Not As Easy As ABC, 123

    | Crystal Lake, IL, USA | Extra Stupid, Math & Science

    Patient: “I’m picking up some meds. My name is [Name].”

    Me: “I have three prescriptions here for you today. Is that correct?”

    Patient: “I think so. Can you show them to me?”

    Me: “Sure”

    (I pull out three bottles from the bag and show all three to the patient.)

    Patient: “Okay, where’s the third one?”

    Me: “I just showed you all three. What are you talking about?”

    (I hold each one up and count as I go along. I get to three and he still looks confused.)

    Patient: “I thought you said I had three… I don’t see the third one!”

    Me: “I just showed you three bottles! What are you talking about?! Do you know how to count?!”

    Patient: “Oh… okay. I’ll take your word for it but I still don’t think there’s three here”

    Likes To Party Hard

    , | Mexico | At The Checkout, Rude & Risque, Theme Of The Month

    (I am the cashier at a convenience store that also has a pharmacy on the back. It is a slow day and my pharmacy coworker asks me to watch his station for a minute. A mustached, gallon-hat wearing cowboy (boots and all) comes up to me and asks in a very deep voice:)

    Cowboy: “Do you carry generic Viagra?”

    Me: *stunned* “I’m sorry. If you could just wait for a minute?”

    (Thankfully my coworker heard him and took over. I went back to my station and then the same customer appeared. His purchases? Generic Viagra, a tequila bottle, and a 25-pack of lollipops…)

    Please Keep Customer Interaction To A Condominimum, Part 2

    | FL, USA | At The Checkout, Rude & Risque, Theme Of The Month

    (It is a Friday late afternoon. I am mechanically ringing up sales adding “have a nice weekend” to my normal “here’s your receipt” spiel. I realized after saying this to a male customer that he is buying several high-quantity boxes of condoms. I also remember he had a work shirt on with his name sewn on it. I stepped into the pharmacy and talk to my coworkers.)

    Me: “Oh, my God!”

    Coworker: “What is it?”

    Me: “I just told a customer to have a good weekend, before noticing he was buying nothing but condoms! He obviously has plans to do so!”

    (About thirty minutes later the phone rings, and the pharmacist picks it up.)

    Coworker: “[My Name], you have a phone call.”

    (I answer.)

    Caller: “Hi, I’m [Customer With Named Shirt]. I’m calling because I want to go out with you this weekend!”

    (Um, that would be ‘NO,’ creepy condom dude!)

    Related:

    Please Keep Customer Interaction To A Condominimum

    Seeing Eye Dog

    | England, UK | Extra Stupid, Health & Body, Pets & Animals

    (I am serving on the counter of a small pharmacy on a busy Saturday. A middle aged lady approaches my desk.)

    Customer: “Hi. Can I get something for infected eyes, please?”

    Me: “Of course. When did the problems with your eyes begin?”

    Customer: “Oh, it’s not for me. It’s for my dog. His eyes looked really sore this morning!”

    Me: *slightly alarmed* “We don’t sell medicines for pets here, unfortunately. You would have to go a vet to get something for your dog.”

    Customer: “No, it’s fine. I give him human medicines all the time!”

    Me: “I’m sorry, but I can’t sell you anything for your dog. I’m not allowed to do that, and what’s more, I wouldn’t want to cause him any harm.”

    Customer: “But… his eyes are the same size as human eyes!”

    A Gross Grocery Error

    | Newark, NJ, USA | At The Checkout, Bizarre, Health & Body

    (The customer in front of me is dropping off a prescription. She’s on her phone.)

    Customer: “…and then can you pick up [Name] from school, or do you want me— Hang on, I’m at the front of the line.” *to pharmacist* “Here’s my prescription, ID, insurance data. Need anything else?”

    Pharmacist: “Just give me a minute to read through this.”

    Customer: *on phone* “So, anyway, about the groceries. Why is taking—”

    Pharmacist: “Excuse me?”

    Customer: “Oh, hang on.” *to pharmacist* “Sorry, I know it’s rude to talk on the phone, but—”

    Pharmacist: “No, no. Your prescription. It says ‘cheese, yogurt, chunky peanut butter.’”

    (There is a pause.)

    Customer: *on phone* “I think I know why it’s taking you so long at the grocery store.”

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