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    Like There’s No Tomorrow

    | Goffstown, NH, USA | Extra Stupid

    (A customer has called to ask if we carry an over the counter soap in our store.)

    Me: “Hello, ma’am? I just checked and we do carry [brand] soap. However, we are all out of stock right now, but we could order some for you and it would come in tomorrow.”

    Customer: “You don’t carry [brand]?”

    Me: “We do carry it. We just don’t have it in right now.”

    Customer: “Well, why not?”

    Me: “Because other customers have purchased it. But we can order some for tomorrow.”

    Customer: “Well, how long will that take?”

    Me: “It’ll come in tomorrow.”

    Customer: “So, how many days will that be?”

    Common Courtesies: Not For Commoners, Part 2

    | Long Island, NY, USA |

    (A little girl and her mother walk in. At first, all is normal. The woman pays for her medications and her daughter’s candy.)

    Girl: “Thank you!”

    Me: “Aw, you’re wel–”

    Mother: “Honey! Don’t thank him. He’s doing his job! I’m very sorry, sir.”

    Me: *bewildered* “You don’t need to ap–”

    Girl: “I’m sorry, sir.”

    Mother: “Very good, hun. Now, let’s go before we waste more of his time.”

    Me: *speechless*

    Related:
    Common Courtesies: Not For Commoners

    One’s Green And The Other Makes You Green

    | New Jersey, USA |

    Customer: “Hi, I’m calling to see if you have cholera pills in stock.”

    Me: “I beg your pardon? Cholera is a contagious disease.”

    Customer: “No, it’s not! I’m looking for cholera pills!”

    Me: “Um, do you mean the natural supplement Chlorella?”

    Customer: “That’s what I said! Cholera! It’s spelled C-H-L-O-R-E-L-L-A. Cholera. I am looking for a large bottle if you have it.”

    Me: *gives up* “Yeah, sure. We happen to have a few bottles of cholera in stock.”

    Customer: “I’ll be there in five minutes!”

    They’re Right Next To The Abacus Tablets

    | North Carolina, USA | Health & Body

    (I’m working behind the counter one morning when an older customer and her son approach.)

    Customer: “I’ve been really itchy lately. I need something for the itch. My son used algebra tablets last time.”

    Me: “Well you could use an allergy tablet, but you can’t if you have high blood pressure.”

    Customer: “I have high blood pressure but this itching is terrible. Can you show me the algebra tablets?”

    Me: “I can’t recommend the allergy tablets, then. It could interact with your medicine.”

    Customer: “I know, but my son had algebra tablets last time and they helped with the itching.”

    Me: “Yes, the allergy tablets would interact though. So I can’t recommend those.”

    Customer: “Which of these algebra tablets would you recommend?”

    Me: *gives up* “The pink box.”

    Run Artificial Stupidity Program

    | Illinois, USA |

    (Our pharmacy phone system is down, so all pharmacy calls are going through the main line, which is answered by me. These calls include people trying to reach the automated prescription line.)

    Me: “Thanks for calling [store], where we offer flu shots every day. This is [name]. How may I help you?”

    Customer: “You’re not a machine.”

    Me: “No. If you were trying to reach the automated line, the phones are down. I can connect you to the pharmacist.”

    Customer: “I want the automated system. People are dumb!”


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