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    Stupidity Is Its Own Reward, Part 2

    | Jersey City, NJ, USA | At The Checkout, Extra Stupid

    (I’m about to ring a customer up. I’m supposed to ask if they have our rewards card, and if they say no, I offer them to sign up for it, as it’s free of charge and relatively quick to do.)

    Me: “Good evening, ma’am. Do you have a rewards card?”

    Customer: “No. What’s the benefit of it?”

    Me: “The rewards card allows you to get the sale prices of whatever’s on sale for the week, and with certain sale items and over the counter medications. You build up rewards points, which you can use to save money later on.”

    Customer: “Okay. Do I need anything for it?”

    Me: “All we need is some basic info, just for identification purposes. Would you like to sign up? It’s free of charge.”

    Customer: *says nothing, fumbles around her purse*

    Me: “Ma’am? Would you like to sign up for the card?”

    (The customer takes out her credit card and swipes it, paying for the purchase.)

    Me: “Okay.”

    (I hand her the receipt and her bags.)

    Me: “Have a good night.”

    Customer: “So, do I get the rewards now?”

    Me: *screaming internally*

    Stupidity Is Its Own Reward

    You Really Don’t Want That On An Open Wound

    | Canada | Funny Names, Health & Body

    (I’m currently doing inventory at the local pharmacy where I work. An older customer comes up to me with her friend, in a panic.)

    Customer: “Can you help me?! I need some ‘Polysperm’!”

    (I assume she means ‘Polysporin’, the topical ointment that treats infections.)

    Me: “Did you mean ‘Polysporin’?”

    Customer: “Oh, no! I DEFINITELY need some ‘Polysperm’!”

    Me: “I’m sorry; I haven’t heard of that product. May I ask what you are using it for?”

    Customer: “Oh, I scraped my elbow, and want to put that ‘Polysperm’ on it!”

    Me: “Okay, let me show you where it’s stocked.”

    (I point to the display of ‘Polysporin’.)

    Customer: *to her friend* “Young kids these days! They don’t know anything!”

    An Impatient Patient

    | Yorkshire, England, UK | At The Checkout, Bad Behavior, Health & Body

    (It is a Sunday, so not many pharmacies are open. I’ve come in with my friend, who is rather unwell. The staff know my husband and I quite well, as we’re in there for our regular medication. Additionally, I have multiple piercings, a rather large tattoo on my nape of my neck, and teal green hair.)

    Pharmacist: “Won’t be long; please take a seat.”

    (We do, and I give the tech I know well a smile and a nod in greeting. Another customer enters.)

    Customer: “How long will it be for my medication?”

    Pharmacist: “About 20 minutes. We have a few people in front of you.”

    Customer: “Fine. I wouldn’t come here if you weren’t the only pharmacy open on a bloody Sunday; you’re always slow!”

    (The pharmacist brushes it off and goes to make up medications.)

    Customer: “I’m only having to wait this long because of stupid drug freaks.”

    (My friend turns to say something, but I put my hand on her arm and shake my head.)

    Customer: “Yeah, I mean you, green freak! What, come in for your methadone early, and they won’t give it to you?”

    (I’ve deliberately turned my back on him at this point.)

    Customer: “F****** druggies! We pay for you to get f****** high.”

    Pharmacy Tech: “Sir, can you watch your language please?”

    Customer: “No I f****** won’t! That stupid b**** is the reason I have to wait so f****** long! She’s strung out, look at the f****** circles under her eyes; they’re all bloodshot!”

    Pharmacy Tech: “I’ll have you know that young lady there is a full-time carer for her husband, who is disabled. And all this whilst being disabled herself. She looks like she hasn’t slept in a week because she probably hasn’t; between caring for him, volunteering with [national advice organization], and helping out her friend here who is rather unwell. And I don’t personally care if my taxes are being used to help her out; I wish there were more people like her out there!”

    Customer: “I… I… I demand to see a pharmacist!”

    Pharmacist: “Sir, I am not going to reprimand my tech for handling that much better than I would have. Do not insult my customers. Here is your prescription back; please fill it somewhere else.”

    (The customer stomps out.)

    Me: “I’m really sorry I caused that.”

    Pharmacist: “Eh, don’t worry; he’s always an a** when he comes in here. Besides, he has an exemption certificate, which means our taxes are paying for his meds too!”

    A Leftist Agenda

    | MA, USA | Bizarre

    (I am filling out a form to refill my medication. A fellow customer, here for a flu shot, sits down next to me. Note that I’m left-handed.)

    Customer: “Woah! How are you doing that with your left hand?”

    Me: “I’m left-handed.”

    Customer: “Don’t you people like, flip around letters?”

    Me: “No, can’t say I do. I think you’re thinking of dyslexia, which some left-handed people have.”

    Customer: “Huh…”

    (The customer notices that I’m writing with a gel pen.)

    Customer: “Wait… you people can’t use gel pens! How do you write with that?”

    Me: “Carefully.”

    Customer: “What would happen if you used your right hand? Would it, like, work?”

    Me: “Well, for most of us, no. My left hand is like your right hand, and my right hand is like your left hand. You could probably use your left hand if you had to, but it’s not ideal. The same goes for me with my right hand.”

    Customer: “That’s so weird! I’ve never seen anything like this!”

    Diabetes Meets Rabies

    | Baltimore, MD, USA | Health & Body, Theme Of The Month, Wild & Unruly

    (A customer is picking up some diabetic test-strips, and I am ringing him up.)

    Me: “How are you doing today, sir?”

    Customer: “I’m alright; how about yourself?”

    Me: “I’m doing great, thanks. Did you have any questions for the pharmacist?”

    (The customer gestures at the test strips, jokingly.)

    Customer: “Yeah, do I really have to poke myself for these to work?”

    Me: “Yep, I’m afraid so.”

    Customer: “Can’t I just poke you instead?”

    Me: *laughing* “Sorry, I’m afraid it doesn’t work that way, sir.”

    (The customer gestures at my multiple facial piercings.)

    Customer: “You look like the type that would enjoy that, though.”

    Me: “Your doctor might have a problem with that, though.”

    (When a customer picks up a prescription, they’re required by law to sign, stating that they’ve received it. Our pharmacy does this through an electronic prompt. The customer looks at it.)

    Customer: “What’s this?”

    Me: “It’s just a way to say that you’ve gotten your prescription. That way there’s no confusion later. It’s as much for your protection as ours really.”

    Customer: “Well what happens if I don’t sign it?”

    Me: “Then unfortunately, we’re not allowed to give you your prescriptions.”


    (The customer THROWS the electronic pen across the counter, hitting me in the face. He turns, and practically skips away. The pharmacist and I aren’t sure if he is joking, but by the end of the day he still hasn’t come back!)

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