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    In Need Of Some Dedication Medication

    | IA, USA | Bad Behavior, Family & Kids

    (I work at a busy pharmacy; we usually look up patients by name, then confirm date of birth. A customer walks up.)

    Me: “Hi, how can I help you?”

    Customer: “Yeah, I’m here to pick up medication.”

    Me: “All righty, for who?”

    Customer: “For my dad.”

    Me: “Name?”

    Customer: “John.”

    Me: “Last name…”

    Customer: “Smith.”

    Me: “All right, and birthday?”

    Customer: “John Smith!”

    Me: “No, date of birth.”

    Customer: “I don’t know; it’s my dad.”

    Me: “Address?”

    Customer: “Something, something, street…”

    Lying Is All Relative(s), Part 3

    | PA, USA | At The Checkout, Family & Kids, Liars & Scammers

    (I’m in high school, and work at my father’s pharmacy during the summer. One day a woman who looks to be in her mid-twenties rushes up to my line, cutting several people. She dumps multiple boxes of prescription medication on the counter, as well as about $50 worth of make-up, hair dye, and jewelry.)

    Customer: “I’m the owner’s daughter, so I get all this stuff for free, okay?”

    Me: “Ma’am, please get to the back of the line.”

    Customer: “For the love of God, just ring me up! I’m the owner’s daughter! I don’t have time to wait!”

    Me: “You’re the owner’s daughter?”

    Customer: “Yes! What are you, f****** deaf? Just f****** ring my stuff up so it won’t set off the alarm!”

    Me: “Wow, that’s such a coincidence.”

    Customer: “Excuse me?”

    Me: *smiling widely*I’m the owner’s daughter, too!”

    (The customer stared at me for a second, then turned beet red and ran out of the store, leaving her items on the counter. She hasn’t been back since!)

    Related:
    Lying Is All Relative(s), Part 2
    Lying Is All Relative(s)

    A Legal Standing

    | IN, USA | At The Checkout, Crazy Requests, Criminal/Illegal

    (Just the pharmacist and I are working the late shift, around 2:00 am. at a popular 24-hour pharmacy. An elderly woman, who has a reputation for getting prescriptions early, hands me a script for painkillers.)

    Elderly Customer: “Hi, I need this filled.”

    Me: *for narcotics, our store requires we ask vague questions to help weed out fraudulence* “All righty, is this from today?”

    Elderly Customer: “Yes, but I want it dated for three days ago.”

    Me: “Forgive me?”

    Elderly Customer: “Yes. You all cheated me out of my pills, so I had to wait three days for my refill. So you will date it three days early so that i can get it early from now on.”

    (The pharmacist, a 65-year-old man who’s so close to retirement he’s not afraid of being fired, hears the conversation and comes over.)

    Pharmacist: “Hello, I’m the pharmacist. Can I help you with something?”

    Elderly Customer: “Yes. Your technician refuses to fill my prescription. I want you to fill it and date it for three days ago.”

    Pharmacist: “No. It is against the law to do so. I will fill and date it for today.” *turns to leave*

    Elderly Customer: “Hey, a**-hole! I’m not done with you!”

    (At this point, the pharmacist turns slowly around. I am searching for cover.)

    Elderly Customer: “You’re gonna fill my d*** pills for how I want! I’m the customer!”

    Pharmacist: “What you are asking is so illegal, it isn’t even physically possible to do with our software.”

    Elderly Customer: “It’s not illegal where I’m standing.”

    (The elderly customer gives a big grin like she has won. The pharmacist proceeds to walk around the counter, out of the pharmacy, and stands next to the customer.)

    Pharmacist: “Ehhh. Nope! It’s illegal over here, too. Good luck getting that filled, though.”

    (He handed her the prescription, and she stormed away screaming curses.)

    A Multidirectional Question

    | Chennai, India | Health & Body, Language & Words

    (This took place a few years ago when Mum and I were at a pharmacy. We are stocking up on some over-the-counter medications and witness this gem of a conversation between the busy pharmacist and another customer:)

    Customer: *in a low voice, clearly embarrassed* “I, umm… need some medicine for the toilet.”

    Pharmacist: “For diarrhea or constipation?”

    Customer: *with a confused look on his face* “What does that mean?”

    Pharmacist: “You wanna make it stop or make it go?”

    Urine For A Shock

    | UT, USA | Bizarre, Health & Body

    Customer: “Hey, do you guys sell drug tests?”

    Me: “Yes! I’ll show you where they are.”

    (I show him where the drug tests are, and he comes up to the pharmacy counter to pay for it.)

    Customer: “Do you have a cup I could use?”

    Me: “…Sure. Let me go get one.”

    (I go grab one of the paper cups the pharmacy staff uses.)

    Me: “Here you go!”

    Customer: “Thanks! Where’s your bathroom?”

    (I tell him where the restrooms out in the store are and he goes on his way. Several minutes later he walks back up to the counter and puts his cup on the counter.)

    Customer: “So do I just stick the test in here?”

    (I look in his cup. Yep. It’s full of pee.)

    Me: “Yes.”

    Customer: “Okay! Thanks!”

    (Customer walked away. I frantically disinfected myself and the entire counter.)

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