July Theme Of The Month: Great Timing!

A Multidirectional Question

| Chennai, India | Health & Body, Language & Words

(This took place a few years ago when Mum and I were at a pharmacy. We are stocking up on some over-the-counter medications and witness this gem of a conversation between the busy pharmacist and another customer:)

Customer: *in a low voice, clearly embarrassed* “I, umm… need some medicine for the toilet.”

Pharmacist: “For diarrhea or constipation?”

Customer: *with a confused look on his face* “What does that mean?”

Pharmacist: “You wanna make it stop or make it go?”

Urine For A Shock

| UT, USA | Bizarre, Health & Body

Customer: “Hey, do you guys sell drug tests?”

Me: “Yes! I’ll show you where they are.”

(I show him where the drug tests are, and he comes up to the pharmacy counter to pay for it.)

Customer: “Do you have a cup I could use?”

Me: “…Sure. Let me go get one.”

(I go grab one of the paper cups the pharmacy staff uses.)

Me: “Here you go!”

Customer: “Thanks! Where’s your bathroom?”

(I tell him where the restrooms out in the store are and he goes on his way. Several minutes later he walks back up to the counter and puts his cup on the counter.)

Customer: “So do I just stick the test in here?”

(I look in his cup. Yep. It’s full of pee.)

Me: “Yes.”

Customer: “Okay! Thanks!”

(Customer walked away. I frantically disinfected myself and the entire counter.)

The Pranks Are Heating Up

| Aulnay-sous-Bois, France | Family & Kids

(My sister is a pharmacist. This happens to her boss while on duty. The phone rings at the beginning of the afternoon.)

Boss: “[Pharmacy], how may I help you?”

Child: “Do you have any thermometers?”

Boss: “Yes, we do sell some.”

Child: “WELL, YOU CAN STICK THEM UP YOUR A**! *hangs up*

(Her boss laughs at the prank call and tells her, and thinks nothing of it. Two hours later, the phone rings, and he’s the one answering it again.)

Boss: “[Pharmacy], how may I help you?”

Caller: “Oh, hello. So you’re a pharmacy?”

Boss: “Yes, we are [Pharmacy] from [Place]. How may I help you?”

Caller: “Well, sorry to disturb you. I just went back home from work and forgot my cellphone at home. I just noticed my son used it to call this number, and I thought I called back to know who you were.”

Boss: “No problem, sir.”

Caller: “I apologize for the inconvenience, I will teach my son a lesson he will not forget.”

Boss: “Oh, no, no, no ! No need for it!”

Caller: “Why? He used my phone and bothered you while you were busy!”

Boss: “No, we just opened. We had no customers yet, and it wasn’t a problem at all. It was a short call. Nothing happened!”

Caller: *angrily* “What did he tell you?”

Boss: “Oh, it was just a small prank call.”

Caller: “OH, MY GOD, THAT LITTLE S***! And I just offered to buy him a video game! I’ll take it back; he doesn’t deserve it.”

Boss: “No, wait, no! I told you, don’t worry. It was nothing!”

Caller: “Yes, it was! I must teach him some people are working and that he f***ing needs to grow up!”

Boss: “But it was just a fun joke, you know? Nothing to worry about.”

Caller: “What did he tell you?”

Boss: “Well, er… He only asked if we had thermometers…”

Caller: “And…?”

Boss: “And… well… he said I could stick them up my a**.”

Caller: “WELL, I THINK IT’S ABOUT TIME YOU PULL THEM OUT NOW!” *hangs up*

(Her boss burst into laughter and told the whole staff about it. Whoever this was, it put them in a good mood for the rest of the day!)

Not Very Closed Minded, Part 9

| AL, USA | Bad Behavior, Time

(I’m a cashier working the closing shift one night, and as with many places we are not allowed to close out our drawers until all the customers in the store have been checked out and left. However we always lock the doors five minutes before closing to deter anyone else from entering. It is time for me to lock the doors and there is still one customer left in the store, so I go to lock the doors so that no one else can come in. As I am locking up a woman runs up to the doors.)

Customer: “Oh, no; are you guys closing?”

Me: “Yes, ma’am, we are. I am sorry but you will have to come back tomorrow or you can head over to our 24-hour facility.”

Customer: “Oh, please, I really only need some laundry detergent.”

(I think for a second and knowing that there is still another customer inside I won’t be able to close up anyway so I decide to be charitable.)

Me: “Okay, ma’am since you really only need one item I can let you run and grab it real quick.”

Customer: “Oh, thank you so much.”

(I let her in and promptly close and lock the doors. I turn off the automatic doors and close and lock them. I turn around just in time to see the woman grab a shopping cart and head to the back of the store. I don’t think anything of it at first; I’ve seen people get a shopping carts for a pack of pencils. A few seconds later my manager comes running up to the front.)

Manager: “When did that other woman get here?”

Me: “She came up as I was just about to lock the doors. She said she just had to grab some laundry detergent and then she would be done.”

Manager: “Yeah, well, she’s back there right now just browsing through the shelves. She’s not even near the laundry detergent yet.”

Me: “Please tell me you are joking! This is seriously what I get for trying to be nice?!”

Manager: “Yeah, well, I’m about to follow her around until she gets the hint.”

(My manager turns around and heads in the direction the woman went. The other person that was already inside comes and checks out and leaves. I start cleaning everything up, and before I know it 15 minutes have gone by. All the sudden all the store lights except for the front area lights go out. My manager comes back up front.)

Manager: “I have literally been following this woman around pretty much just standing right next to her and she’s just going as slow as ever. So I turned the lights out. She should be up here soon to check out.”

(Another 20 minutes go by before the woman comes up to the register, her cart is completely full of various items, yet she has no laundry detergent.)

Customer: “I noticed your lights went out at the back of the store. Are you guys closing?”

Me: “…Umm, yes, ma’am. We are…”

Customer: “I wish I would have known. I figured you were when the lights went off so I hurried to finish my shopping. I still didn’t quite finish so I will just have to come back tomorrow for the rest.”

(I pretty much just don’t say anything else except for her total and then walk her out of the store and lock up. It is now an hour after we are supposed to close. The topping on the cake, the woman came back the very next night, once again as I was locking up.)

Customer: “Oh, are you guys closing?”

Me: “Yes, we are. You’ll have to come back tomorrow.”

Customer: “Please, all I need is some toilet paper. I won’t be but a few seconds.”

(I actually start to laugh and just close the doors on her and lock them right in front of her. She starts yelling at me but I just turned around and went inside to close out my drawer. My manager is at the front with me.)

Manager: “What the heck is that yelling?”

Me: “Same woman from last night wanted back in just for some toilet paper. Swore she would only be a second. I started laughing and locked her out.”

Manager: “I’m glad it was you and not me; I probably would have been less polite!”

Related:
Not Very Closed Minded, Part 8
Not Very Closed Minded, Part 7
Not Very Closed Minded, Part 6

Has An Asian Dissuasion

| San Francisco, CA, USA | Bigotry, Language & Words

(I work as an intern pharmacist at a pharmacy. Even though I’m still in school, I’m comfortable enough to consult patients on common prescriptions. A woman comes up to pick up some antibiotics and my supervising pharmacist asks me to consult with her on the medication. I am Asian, raised speaking Chinese, but born in Canada and moved to California when I was young, so I speak English and Chinese fluently.)

Woman: “Hi, I’m picking up for [Woman].”

(I find the prescription, and bring it to the counter.)

Me: “All right, I have it here. Have you ever taken this medication before?”

Woman: *screaming behind me at the pharmacist, who is white* “CAN I HAVE YOU HELP ME?”

Me: “Ma’am, I can help you.”

Woman: *still waving at the pharmacist*

(Giving up, I walk behind the counter, and tell my pharmacist what happened. She moves up to take care of the woman. I stay behind the counter, but I can still hear their conversation.)

Pharmacist: “How can I help you?”

Woman: “I’m just picking up my medication.”

(My pharmacist finishes the consultation as usual. When she finishes…)

Woman: *speaking at normal volume* “I don’t know why you have him back there. How do you know if he can even speak English?”

Pharmacist: “Ma’am, he speaks English fluently. He is a current pharmacy student.”

Woman: “But he’s Chinese. No one could understand his English.”

Pharmacist: “Ma’am, his English is fine. Just a good as mine.”

Woman: “I don’t think you should have him here…”

(She walks out like nothing happened. My pharmacist walks back behind the counter.)

Me: “What was she talking about?”

Pharmacist: “I don’t know. I guess she’s either new to the city or she never noticed how many Chinese people are in San Francisco.”

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