Not Always Right on Facebook Not Always Right on Twitter Not Always Right Unfiltered on Tumblr
Featured Story:
  • Retort Against Those Who Extort
    (1,644 thumbs up)
  • September Theme Of The Month: Return Of The Geeks!
    Submit your story today!

    Of Mice And Mental Regrets

    | Georgia, USA | Pets & Animals, Top

    (I’m helping a customer in the small animals area at our pet store.)

    Customer: “Hi, I’d like some feeder animals for my snake.”

    Me: “Certainly. Would you like mice or rats?”

    Customer: “I’m not sure.”

    Me: “Well, how big is your snake?”

    Customer: *holds hands a good distance apart* “He’s a ball python… pretty big.”

    Me: “Okay, so maybe a rat…”

    (I show him to our rats. Note that we have small and medium rats in different cages.)

    Customer: “Why are the ones on the bottom more expensive?”

    Me: “They’re just bigger than the ones on top.”

    Customer: “How long until they get that big?”

    Me: “I’m not sure. They’re at least a few months old when we get them.”

    Customer: “No, how long does it take them to grow from those?” *points to the mice*

    Me: “You mean the mice?”

    Customer: “Yeah, how long does it take them to grow into these guys?” *points back to the rats* “Like, what’s the difference between the rats and the mice?”

    Me: “Um, they don’t grow into rats. They’re two different species.”

    Customer: “So these guys aren’t big mice?”

    Me: “No, they’re rats.”

    Customer: “Oh… well, I feel like an idiot.”

    Me: *laughs* “It’s okay. It’s an easy mistake to make.’

    Customer: “…I worked at a pet store for three years.”

    Ferretting Out Falsehood Is A Full-Time Effort

    | USA | Bizarre, Pets & Animals, Top

    (I work in a pet store. I have a pet ferret that I bring to work with me on occasion. I put him on a leash and harness and walk him around the store when we aren’t busy.)

    Customer: “Godd***, that rat is huge!”

    Me: “He’s not a rat; he’s a ferret. They aren’t—”

    Customer: “F*** all that scientific bulls***! That’s a f***ing rat! That’s not your pet, is it?”

    Me: “Yes, he is. But ferrets are not rodents. They’re mustelids.”

    Customer: “A what?! Mustard lid?”

    Me: “No, mustelid. They’re in the same family as otters, badgers, and weasels.”

    Customer: “What’d you call it? A furret? My friend told me about those. They’ll f***ing bite your nose off!”

    Me: “Well, one might, if it feels threatened, but I assure you they are actually very tame and affectionate animals. Would you like to hold him and see?”

    (I pick my ferret up and cradle him in my arms like a baby. He immediately goes limp and nuzzles my shirt.)

    Customer: *hesitantly reaches out to pet him* “Uh… well, I guess it wouldn’t hurt to try—”

    (At that moment, my ferret opens his mouth wide for a particularly intense yawn, revealing his formidable canine teeth.)

    Customer: “S***! That rat ain’t tame! He just tried to take my f***ing hand off! Crazy b****es and their godd*** face-eating rats!” *bolts out the door*

    Pet Yourself In My Shoes

    | Edinburgh, Scotland, UK | Crazy Requests, Pets & Animals, Top

    (A regular customer has come into our pet shop with her pet hamster in a carry box. Apparently, she is on his way to put her hamster to sleep as he is very ill. She has dropped in to buy him a last treat for the journey. As she makes her way to me to pay, another customer stops her to look in the box. This other customer is a woman in her thirties with a baby in a stroller.)

    Customer: “Oh, you have a hamster. How cute! Can I pet it?”

    Regular: “Um, I’m sorry, but he’s not well. I’d rather not take him out.”

    Customer: “What’s wrong with him? Surely a wee pat isn’t going to hurt him?”

    Regular: “He has a tumor in his tummy, and it’s started to cause him discomfort. We’re on our way to the vet.”

    Customer: “Aww, the poor thing! Please let me show my friend. She’s in the shop and she loves hamsters!”

    (Suddenly, the customer tries to take the carry box from my regular, alarming her. I quickly make my way over to them.)

    Regular: “Excuse me, but this is my hamster! He’s old and sore, and I’m taking him to be put to sleep. The last thing he needs is for a stranger to manhandle him!”

    Customer: “If you’re going to have him killed anyway, you should let my friend see him first! She loves hamsters!”

    (At this heartless statement, my regular begins to cry. I decide to take a risk and teach the woman a lesson. I take hold of the customer’s stroller handles.)

    Me: *to the customer* “My coworker just LOVES babies. Can I take yours away to see her?”

    Customer: “Excuse me?! Leave that alone! What gives you the right?!”

    Me: “But I want my co-worker to see your baby.”

    Customer: “I don’t care! That’s my child, and you’ve no right to touch my buggy. I don’t even know you! Why don’t—”

    (Suddenly, a wave of realisation hits the customer and she stops mid-sentence. She then swears at me, takes the stroller back and storms off, all the while refusing eye-contact with my regular, who is still crying. I had to get my manager to tell her what happened. Although I technically had to be written up, my manager was sympathetic and the poor regular got the treats for free.)

    Much A-Two About Nothing

    | Nanuet, NY, USA | At The Checkout, Money

    (I work at a major pet retail store. A customer approaches the register, talking on her cell phone, and puts a dog toy on the counter.)

    Customer: “[Competitor] has this for $7.99 and you’re charging $9.99! It’s too expensive!”

    Me: “I can price match it for you, ma’am—”

    Customer: “You shouldn’t charge so much! It’s ridiculous!”

    Me: “Ma’am, it’s—”

    Customer: *to her friend on the phone* “It’s so expensive here!”

    Me: “Ma’am, it’s only two dollars.”

    Customer: *embarrassed* “I don’t have two dollars. I only have a credit card.”

    Me: “We take credit for any amount, ma’am.”

    (The customer swipes her card, takes her purchase, and rushes off, talking to her friend on the phone.)

    Customer: “Oh my God, I’m so embarrassed! I just made a huge fuss and it was only two dollars!”

    Their Bark Is Worse Than Any Dog’s Bite

    | San Diego, CA, USA | Crazy Requests, Family & Kids, Pets & Animals

    (I work at a pet store that also offers boarding/day care services for dogs. We have three day camps, two of which are visible to customers inside and outside of the store. I am on my way back from a break when I notice a father, mother, and child standing in front of a window, looking into one of the day camps.)

    Me: “Hello! I see you have noticed one of our day camp rooms. Do you have any questions about our boarding and day camp services?”

    Father: “Yes, we do. What is that dog?” *points*

    Me: “That would be Oso. He’s a real sweetheart.”

    Father: “And what breed is he?”

    Me: “He’s a Great Pyrenees mix.”

    Mother: “We’ll take him.”

    Me: “…I’m sorry?”

    Mother: “I SAID, we’ll take him.”

    Me: “I’m sorry, but these dogs are not for sale.”

    Father: “What?”

    Me: “All of these dogs are staying with us while their owners are out of town. Some of them, like Oso, only come in for a few hours every day because the owners don’t want them to be left home alone all day.”

    Mother: “That’s ridiculous. Why would you have these dogs on display if they weren’t for sale?”

    Father: “We’d like to purchase that dog. How much is he?”

    Me: “I’m sorry, but none of these dogs are for sale. We do offer adoption services on weekends, so you are more than welcome to come back on Saturday and look at the puppies.”

    Child: *whining* “I want the dooooggiiiiiiie!”

    Father: “Yes, but we want THAT dog. How much is he?”

    Me: “Sir, I’m sorry, but none of these dogs are for sale. They all have owners.”

    Mother: “Then how about that dog?” *points at a different one*

    Me: “I don’t know what that dog’s name is.”

    Mother: “No, no, how much is that dog? If the first one isn’t for sale, then what about this one?”

    Me: “Ma’am, NONE of the dogs are for sale. They ALL have owners.”

    Mother: “Then why are you displaying them in the store if they aren’t for sale?!”

    Child: “I WANT THE DOGGIE!”

    Me: “Excuse me, but I need to clock back in from break. Let me get the manager…”

    (When the store manager came by, they asked how much Oso was again. When they were told he was not for sale, the child threw a major temper tantrum, both of the parents starting yelling at the store manager, and they only left after the store manager threatened to call security.)

    Page 9/26First...7891011...Last