When The Cat’s Away The Pranks Come Out To Play

| Columbus, OH, USA | Bizarre, Extra Stupid, Pets & Animals

(It’s a very slow day so I decide to take one of our cats out of her cage and hold her. She’s slung herself over my shoulder when a guy walks in.)

Me: “Hello. Is there anything I can help you with today?”

Customer: *staring at the cat* “Holy s***! Is that thing real?”

Me: *sarcastically* “Nope. It’s a new animatronic model from Google. We’re testing them in stores to eventually give people an option for a pet without the mess!”

Customer: “That’s so awesome!! I have to tell my friends!”

(He ran out the store before I could tell him I was joking.)

A Cancer Of Society

| Knoxville, TN, USA | At The Checkout, Bad Behavior, Health & Body

(Our store is selling stuffed toys to give to children undergoing cancer treatment. I’m on register checking out a couple.)

Me: “Would you like to purchase one of the toys and donate it to a child?”

(The customer reaches for one of the toys and I think I’ve made a sale. But then she puts the toy back on the counter and says:)

Customer: “My hunch is that kids who have cancer get enough of these.”

Her Bargaining Power Has Gone To The Dogs

| WI, USA | Bad Behavior, Money, Pets & Animals

(I work at a pet store that sells puppies. A very angry customer comes in to buy a Boston terrier.)

Customer: “This place is filthy! You only have sick dogs!”

Me: “We are very proud of our sanitation standards as well as the fact that we have not had an outbreak of a major illness in over five years.”

Customer: “Hmph! Well, then I’m going to have to have some cosmetic surgery done on the dog because I don’t like this feature the dog has.”

Me: “Uh, well, these are natural features, and pose no health risk.

Customer: “I still demand the price of the puppy dropped down.

Me: “Our prices are already very fair. Especially when everything comes with the puppy, even the microchip and the vaccinations.”

Customer: “I demand to see the manager!”

(The manager comes over and the situation is explained. Eventually, the customer makes an ultimatum.)

Customer: “I will be out the door with the puppy for $800 or with nothing!”

(It is then we all realize that the customer has not actually established what the price of the puppy actually is, which is just $600. For all her yelling and harassment of the staff, she was very nice after the manager changed the price to $800.)

Flipping Off And Flipping Out

| AZ, USA | At The Checkout, Bizarre, Wild & Unruly

(I am a cashier working the morning shift at a popular pet store when a woman comes in to get a gift card. Our store has machines to take cards; we don’t swipe them ourselves.)

Customer: “I’d like to put $12 on this card.”

(I go through the process of getting the money on the gift card.)

Me: “Okay, $12.”

Customer: *gives me her card*

Me: “No, right here.” *gestures to the machine*

Customer: “Did you just point with your middle finger?”

Me: *smiling* “Oh, I kind of gesture with my whole hand. Like this.” *gestures again*

Customer: “You can’t point with your middle finger! It’s like doing this!” *flips me off*

Me: “Oh, well, I’m sorry. That wasn’t my intention at all.”

Customer: “You know what? I don’t have to deal with this! F*** you! F*** you, you stupid ugly f*****g b***h!” *flips me off and storms out!*

Best To Let Sleeping Service Dogs Lie

| USA | At The Checkout, Health & Body

(I am disabled and have a service dog that accompanies me everywhere, including my job. I typically run a register, and he will either sit or lay beside me on the rubber mat behind the register. I typically don’t talk about my disabilities with strangers, since some people can be rather mean.)

Customer: “Oh, a service dog! Are you training it?”

Me: *ringing up customer’s items* “No. He’s mine.”

Customer: “But you don’t look disabled.”

(I just smile and continue their transaction.)

Customer: “Oh! Do you have seizures?”

Me: “Something like that.”

Customer: “Diabetes?”

Me: “Something like that.”

Customer: “PTSD?”

Me: “Something like that.”

Customer: “Well! I wasn’t trying to be nosy. Hmph!”

Me: “Sorry about that. Your total will be [total].”

(The customer pays and takes his bags, starts heading for the door before turning back to me.)

Customer: “I’m sorry. That was rude of me, wasn’t it?”

Me: “Something like that.”

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