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  • Had It Up To Their Neck With Bad Customers
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    How To Treat Employees

    | Atlanta, GA, USA | Bizarre, Pets & Animals

    Customer: “Can you help me find these treats in the large breed size?”

    Me: “Sure!” *goes to shelf and finds treats*

    Customer: “Good girl! Who’s a good girl? You’re a good girl!”

    An Honor To Serve

    | Concord, NH, USA | At The Checkout, Awesome Customers, Money, Themed Giveaway, Top

    (I’m ringing up an older man who is buying a few things, bringing his total to about $12.)

    Customer #1: “That doesn’t seem right. I thought the fish food was cheaper.”

    (Before I can say anything, he rushes off to that aisle, leaving Customer #2, a young serviceman, waiting.)

    Customer #2: “I’ve got this.”

    (Surprisingly, Customer #2 pulls out his credit card and proceeds to pay for the whole order. As the receipt comes out, the first customer returns.)

    Customer #1: “It was the right price, sorry.”

    Customer #2: *hands him his receipt* “You’re all set.”

    (The first customer takes in what has happened and tries to hand the young serviceman the money he would’ve paid with.)

    Customer #1: “Here, you deserve it!”

    Customer #2: “I don’t deserve anything, sir. Have a good night.”

    (Customer #1 walks out, thanking Customer #2. Customer #2 pays for his item and also leaves. That has never happened in my line before. Bless you young serviceman; you make this job great!)

    Fails To Register

    | Nanuet, NY, USA | At The Checkout, Extra Stupid

    (My store has three registers. I am stocking a shelf when a customer stops in front of the registers.)

    Customer: “Which register?”

    Me: “I can ring you up on the second register, ma’am.”

    Customer: *points to the third register* “That one?”

    Me: “No, the second one.”

    Customer: *points to the first register* “That one?”

    Me: “No, ma’am, the second register. This one here, with the light on.” *points at the second register*

    Customer: *angry* “Why isn’t this more clearly marked!? You should make it clearer which one is the one you’re on!”

    (Despite what I’ve said, she still walks over to the third register and drops her items on the counter. I walk over to the second register and put in my code.)

    Me: “I’ll take you over here, ma’am.”

    Customer: “You should’ve said that before I put my stuff down!”

    Sign Up For A Rewards Karma

    | Concord, NH, USA | At The Checkout, Awesome Customers, Money, Top

    (The store is having a big sale on all dog costumes because it’s 10 days away from Halloween. You must have our rewards card, which is free, to get the sale price.)

    Me: “Alright, do you have a rewards card? The costume is on sale today.”

    Customer: “No, thank you.”

    Me: “Are you sure? You could save a bit of money. It’s completely free to sign up.”

    Customer: “I said no! God! You people!”

    Me: *taken aback* “Alright. Your total is $16.99.”

    Customer: *mumbles* “Stupid cards.”

    (She takes her receipt and starts gathering her things as I ring up the next customer, who is also buying a costume.)

    Me: “Alright, that’ll be $4.49.”

    Customer: “Hey! Why is hers so cheap?!”

    Next Customer: “Because I used the free card you rudely refused, after she tried to save you money.”

    (I try not to laugh as the rude customer storms out of the store, leaving her pet’s costume at my register. My thanks to the next customer who said what I couldn’t!)

    Don’t Feed It Rock, Paper, Scissors Or Spock

    | OR, USA | Extra Stupid, Pets & Animals, Time

    (A customer comes in and explains that her daughter caught a lizard. People frequently come in for advice on their wild-caught animals, so I start explaining what proper care would be. Before this, she expressed general shock at several things, including having to provide heat and light for the lizard she wanted to shut in the dark of her garage.)

    Me: “And so you’ll want to primarily give them crickets and mealworms, occasionally waxworms.”

    Customer: “I see… And are green crickets okay too?”

    Me: “Er, that sounds like a grasshopper. I’m sure it would be fine; I’m not entirely sure how they compare with crickets.”

    Customer: “But if I catch them outside, I can use them?”

    Me: “I wouldn’t recommend it, you’re taking a risk that they could have sprays and toxins on them. Ours are only 10 cents each. I think it—”

    Customer: “So, how do I catch crickets?”

    Me: *pause* “I’m not entirely sure. I don’t know anyone who catches their own crickets from the wild. It would be much easier to just buy them.”

    Customer: “Well, how about if I just feed it dog food?”

    Me: “No. I would definitely not recommend you feed dog food to a lizard. They really should be eating crickets, at least, and mealworms.”

    Customer: “So, how long do they live without food?”

    Me: “Um. I would guess no longer than a week or so.”

    Customer: “So, when should I let it go if I can’t feed it?”

    Me: “If you can’t feed it, I would let it go immediately.”

    Customer: “But I want to try and catch crickets. How long should I wait? Like, when is the lizard’s expiration date?”

    Me: “I wouldn’t go for more than a couple of days without feeding it.”

    Customer: “But when should I let it go?”

    Me: “A couple of days.”

    Customer: “But what date is that?”

    Me: “The 15th.”

    Customer: “So, you’re telling me I can only wait a day, then I have to let it go?”

    Me: “Yes.”

    Customer: “Okay, thank you!”


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