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    Bird Brained, Part 9

    | Norway | Extra Stupid, Pets & Animals

    (I work in a pet store, and only one staff member is male. We also have a chatty amazon parrot.)

    Customer: “Excuse me?”

    Me: “How may I help you?”

    Customer: “Does the parrot say anything?”

    Me: “Yes! He can say many things! Greetings and lots of random nonsense!”

    (I wave at the parrot and he responds by saying ‘buh bye,’ and basically setting him off on a chatting rampage.)

    Customer: “I thought you said it was a he?”

    (I stare at the customer, somewhat confused.)

    Me: “Excuse me?”

    Customer: “Well… that’s clearly a woman’s voice!”

    (I just stand there for a moment before explaining the principal behind parrots speaking. Needless to say, the customer was sort of embarrassed as he left.)

    Related:
    Bird Brained, Part 8
    Bird Brained, Part 7
    Early Bird Brained
    Bird Brained, Part 6
    Bird Brained, Part 5
    Bird Brained, Part 4
    Bird Brained, Part 3
    Bird Brained, Part 2
    Bird Brained

    Call A Doctor If He Starts Chirping

    | Clay, NY, USA | Bizarre, Extra Stupid, Food & Drink, Pets & Animals

    (We have a variety of animals, such as reptiles. Some reptiles require crickets as a main staple of their diet. Most people buy more than they need, and keep them in containers with special foods and drinks to feed the crickets to keep them alive. I receive a phone call.)

    Me: “[Pet Store], can I help you?”

    Caller: “Yeah I have a question about the [Brand] cricket food. Do you know which one I’m talking about?”

    Me: “Yes I do.”

    Caller: “Well my 17-year-old son ate some, and I was wondering if it was safe for human consumption?”

    Me: “C-come again?”

    Caller: “My 17-year-old son ate some, and I was wondering if it was safe for human consumption?”

    Me: “To be honest, I’m not entirely sure. Let me look at the ingredients real quick.”

    (I go to read the label on the jar, and there are no indications on the label that it would be harmful to people.)

    Me: “Well, I read the ingredients and I don’t really see anything on here that would make him sick.”

    Caller: “Is this something we should call the doctor about?”

    Me: “I honestly don’t know, but I would definitely keep an eye on him and see if he seems fine.”

    Caller: “Well, he’s fine, but he’s got diarrhea.”

    Me: “That’s probably why.”

    Caller: “Oh.”

    Me: “I don’t know what else to tell you other to keep an eye on him; I’ve never been asked about that before.”

    Caller: “Okay, well we’ll let you know. Thank you for the help.”

    (I texted my coworker and boss later. Apparently in their years of experience, that was a first for them, too.)

    Thank You For Shopping At ApocalypseMart: The Comic

    | JENSEN BEACH, FL, USA | Comics, Religion, Rude & Risque, Wild & Unruly

    Purr-haps She Is A Dog Person

    | Flint, MI, USA | Pets & Animals

    (The store works with an animal rescue agency that comes in on a regular basis for adoption events. A customer is talking to the agency, holding a cat. She grabs me as I walk by.)

    Customer: “Excuse me. I have a question, and I know these nice ladies are really pushing for these cats to be adopted, so I’m afraid they won’t be honest.”

    Me: “Oh, sure. What can I help you with?”

    Customer: “This cat… it’s vibrating. Is that supposed to happen?”

    Me: “Yeah, it’s purring. That means it’s happy.”

    Not So Smart-Phone Number

    | TX, USA | At The Checkout, Bad Behavior, Pets & Animals

    (Our store sells rats and mice for feeders. All customers who purchase them have to fill out a short sheet with their name, address, and phone number for our records. Our store reward cards can be found by entering a phone number.)

    Me: “Alright, two male mice and [other item]. If you could please fill this out while I ring you up that would be great.”

    (The customer stares blankly at the piece of paper.)

    Me: *pushes paper closer* “We’ll just need this filled out for the mice for our files.”

    Customer: “What is this?”

    Me: “It’s a form that has to be filled out for all animals we sell; it is company policy.”

    (The customer starts to get huffy.)

    Customer: “I have lived in this area for nine years, and have never had to fill one of these out before!”

    (She starts to fill it out, grumpily, sighing every few seconds, and complains the entire time, saying the policy is stupid and she doesn’t understand. When she reaches the portion where it asks for a phone number should we need to call the customer about the animal, she explodes.)

    Customer: “There is NO F****** WAY I am giving you guys my phone number. This is freaking ridiculous; let me talk to a manager. I have lived here NINE YEARS and have never had to fill this out. This is a retarded policy, and I am not giving you guys my phone number to have on file!”

    (I call a manager up and keep trying to diffuse the situation.)

    Me: “That’s fine, ma’am. You can rightly refuse for the phone number. While we wait for my manager, do you have a rewards card?”

    (The customer looks up at me and prattles off her phone number. I resist face-palming at her.)

    Related:
    Not-So-Smart Phone, Part 10
    Not-So-Smart Phone, Part 9
    Not-So-Smart Phone, Part 8
    Not-So-Smart Phone, Part 7
    Not-So-Smart Phone, Part 6
    Not-So-Smart Phone, Part 5
    Not-So-Smart Phone, Part 4


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