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    Poodle Bites Woman, Claims Insanity

    | Seattle, WA, USA |

    (I’m outside walking a small poodle before her bath.)

    Passing woman, to the poodle: “Oh, what a pretty kitty! Hello, kitty!”

    Me: “…”

    Thy Gluttony Knows No Bounds

    | Florida, USA |

    Me: “Hi, did you need any help today?”

    Customer: “Nope, I’m just looking.”

    Me: “Alright, just tell me if you need anything.”

    (The customer stops and looks at the rats.)

    Customer: “DO PEOPLE EAT THOSE?”

    Me: “N-no, no they don’t…”

    Customer: “Oh, okay. Just wondering!”

    Me: “…”

    Why The Customer Isn’t Always Right

    | Bloomington, IL, USA |

    (I was working at an unusually small location for an otherwise large pet store chain. Because of our size, we needed to store large heavy items like aquariums on the top shelves. On this particular night, we were shorthanded and I was one of only two people working.)

    Customer: “I need a 55 gallon aquarium.”

    Me: “Just a moment, I will need to call my co-worker back here to help me get it down.”

    Customer: “Ok, well, I’m in a hurry.”

    (At this point, I call my co-worker, and he says he will be back as soon as he has cleared the line that has formed at his register.)

    Me: “It will be just a few minutes before he can come back and help me.”

    Customer: “I’m in a hurry, I really need it now!”

    Me: “I’m very sorry, but that is a heavy item, and I will not be able to get it down on my own.”

    Customer: “Like h**l you won’t! I said get it for me now! The customer is always right!”

    (This repeats for several minutes, before I finally decide I’ve had enough. I go get a ladder, and attempt to get the aquarium down. Predictably, I cannot hold it, and the thing falls and shatters to pieces all over the floor. The guy stands there dumbfounded, not quite understanding what just happened.)

    Me: “As you said, the customer is always right! There you are sir, enjoy your new aquarium.”

    Yeah, It’s Right Next To The Aflac

    | Greensburg, PA, USA |

    Customer at a pet store: “Do you have any Geicos?”

    An Expensive Temper Tantrum

    | Arkansas, USA |

    (I was cashiering and couldn’t help but overhear a woman screaming and waving her receipt at my Store Director in front of the exit/entrance to the store.)

    Customer: “This is ridiculous! I came to see if the food I buy is cheaper than at [competitor] and it is. But they always give me a free bag after I get a certain amount of points!”

    Director: “I know they do. But we aren’t them, we simply don’t do that.”

    Customer: “Well why not?!”

    Director: “We just don’t. It’s not my decision to make.”

    Customer: “UGH!” *rips up the receipt and throws it in the directors face* “FINE THEN, I’LL BUY FROM [competitor] INSTEAD!!”

    Director: “Okay, have a nice day!” *waves pleasantly and walks over to me to give me change that I needed*

    Me: “Did she just leave without getting a refund for those five 40 lb. bags of dog food?”

    (Note: this comes to approximately $125 without tax.)

    Director: “Yup, and she ripped up the receipt and didn’t take it with her, which means she has no proof she ever bought the food.”

    Me: “…so if she comes back?”

    Director: *smiles wide* “Tell her that you need to see the proof.”

    (The woman never returned for her refund. Thanks for the $125, lady.)

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