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    The Guinea Pig Goes Hiss

    | Lafayette, LA, USA |

    (I am showing a guinea pig to a middle aged customer in a suit and tie who seems interested in buying it for his kids.)

    Customer: “So, they eat special food just for guinea pigs?”

    Me: “Yeah, there is a food that we sell that is specially customized
    to their needs, but you can also feed them rabbit food.”

    Customer: “A guinea pig is a reptile, right?”

    Customer Of The Week: Pet Care Hotline

    | Kentucky | Old Comics

    NEW: Not Always Right is pleased to announce Customer Of The Week, a comic which will run every Wednesday. It’s based on Not Always Right stories and is created by the fantastic folks at Quitting Time!

    Customer Of The Week, No. 1
    Created by our friends at Quitting Time

    Original Story:
    Actually, Fido Is A Weapon Of Mass Destruction

    Poodle Bites Woman, Claims Insanity

    | Seattle, WA, USA |

    (I’m outside walking a small poodle before her bath.)

    Passing woman, to the poodle: “Oh, what a pretty kitty! Hello, kitty!”

    Me: “…”

    Thy Gluttony Knows No Bounds

    | Florida, USA |

    Me: “Hi, did you need any help today?”

    Customer: “Nope, I’m just looking.”

    Me: “Alright, just tell me if you need anything.”

    (The customer stops and looks at the rats.)

    Customer: “DO PEOPLE EAT THOSE?”

    Me: “N-no, no they don’t…”

    Customer: “Oh, okay. Just wondering!”

    Me: “…”

    Why The Customer Isn’t Always Right

    | Bloomington, IL, USA |

    (I was working at an unusually small location for an otherwise large pet store chain. Because of our size, we needed to store large heavy items like aquariums on the top shelves. On this particular night, we were shorthanded and I was one of only two people working.)

    Customer: “I need a 55 gallon aquarium.”

    Me: “Just a moment, I will need to call my co-worker back here to help me get it down.”

    Customer: “Ok, well, I’m in a hurry.”

    (At this point, I call my co-worker, and he says he will be back as soon as he has cleared the line that has formed at his register.)

    Me: “It will be just a few minutes before he can come back and help me.”

    Customer: “I’m in a hurry, I really need it now!”

    Me: “I’m very sorry, but that is a heavy item, and I will not be able to get it down on my own.”

    Customer: “Like h**l you won’t! I said get it for me now! The customer is always right!”

    (This repeats for several minutes, before I finally decide I’ve had enough. I go get a ladder, and attempt to get the aquarium down. Predictably, I cannot hold it, and the thing falls and shatters to pieces all over the floor. The guy stands there dumbfounded, not quite understanding what just happened.)

    Me: “As you said, the customer is always right! There you are sir, enjoy your new aquarium.”

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