November Theme Of The Month: Black Friday!

Owning A Pet Is Having A Ball

| WI, USA | Uncategorized

(Customer comes in to buy some more mice because hers aren’t breeding.)

Customer: “How do you tell if the mice are male or female?”

Me: “Well, the easiest way to tell is the males have quite prominent testicles.”

Customer: “I didn’t know mice had testicles!”

Me: “That’s probably why your mice aren’t breeding.”

Mouse To Mouse Resuscitation

| WY, USA | Uncategorized

(An irate customer comes flying through the door and slams a soaking wet, dead hamster on the counter. I recognize her as a woman I had sold a hamster to an hour ago.)

Me: “Oh my goodness what happened?!”

Customer: “I took this hamster home and he didn’t even live 10 minutes!”

Me: “Why is he all wet?”

Customer: “From being in the aquarium! He swam for awhile, but then he just dropped dead!

Me: “I’m sorry, are you telling me you put him in an aquarium full of water?”

Customer: “You told me hamsters can live in aquariums! You said I didn’t need to buy a cage specifically for hamsters!”

Me: “Hamsters can live in an aquarium, but not in water! When you were picking him out didn’t you notice the others are in empty aquariums with bedding?”

Customer: “You told me he could live in an aquarium! I demand a new hamster! One that is alive!”

Me: “I really don’t think any of our animals are going to work out for you.”

Don’t Knock Knock Christmas

| Germantown, WI, USA | Uncategorized

(A dad and his children are in my checkout line. I’m ringing up items for the family when I hear his children talking to each other.)

8-year old son: “Want to hear a joke?

5-year old son: “Yeah!”

8-year old son: “Knock knock.”

5-year old son: “Who’s there?”

8-year old son: “Merry!”

5-year old son: “Merry who?”

8-year old son: “Merry, it’s almost Christmas!”

(I laugh.)

Dad: *looking at me and laughing too* “Yeah, I was wondering where he was going with that.”

Customer’s A Real Dodo

| Fresno, CA, USA | Math & Science, Pets & Animals, Uncategorized

Customer: “Hey, do you guys sell any extinct fish?”

(I pause to see if she is messing with me, but she is serious.)

Me: “No, sorry. They are really hard to come by.”

A Little Cuckoo

| Folsom, CA, USA | Holidays, Pets & Animals, Uncategorized

(It is the Christmas season and we sell clothing for dogs and cats. An old lady comes in and finds me standing near the birdcages.)

Me: “Hello, ma’am! How can I help you today?”

Customer: “Do you have Santa hats?”

Me: “Why yes, they’re right here.”

Customer: *looks them over* “No, these are much too big.”

Me: “What size of pet are you looking to buy a hat for?”

Customer: “Small.”

Me: “A Chihuahua?”

Customer: “Smaller!”

Me: “A teacup Yorkie?”

Customer: “My Cockatoo!”

Me: “Your…Cockatoo?”

Customer: “Yes! I need to buy 10 Santa hats. One for each of my beloveds. Do you have any that small?”

Me: “I don’t believe so.”

Customer: “What do you mean?! This is a pet store! Why don’t you have any Santa hats for my babies?!”

Me: *walking toward front door* “Well, ma’am, if you walk about 10 feet to your left, you’ll find [craft store] and I’m sure they’ll have all your Santa hat needs.”

Customer: “Thank you! This is what good customer service is all about!”

(She leaves. About an hour later, we receive an angry call.)

Customer: *enraged* “Why didn’t she tell me it was a craft store and I had to make my own? Who the h*** wants to make their own Santa hats?!”