Bird Brained, Part 6

| Kansas City, KS, USA | Bizarre, Spouses & Partners, Uncategorized

Me: “Is there anything else I can do for you?”

Customer: “No, just the bird seed will do.”

Me: “Alright then.”

Customer: “CACAAWW!”

(Moments later, a similar bird call comes from the other end of the store.)

Me: “What was that?”

Customer: “Oh that’s my wife. We do that so we can always find each other wherever we go.”

Related:
Early Bird Brained
Bird Brained
Bird Brained, Part 2
Bird Brained, Part 3
Bird Brained, Part 4
Bird Brained, Part 5

Like A Fish Out Of Water

| Salt Lake City, UT, USA | Pets & Animals, Top

(Our store has a return policy involving fish that they can return them as long as they have the animal and receipt.)

Customer: “My fish died again.”

Me: “How long did you have the fish for?”

Customer: “Only about two days. This is the second fish this has happened with.”

(I proceed to start asking questions about her daily tasks of tank operations. After several minutes, I can’t figure out what is wrong.)

Me: “How about you take me through your daily routine?”

Customer: “Well, first I go down and feed the fish. Then I pick him up and pet him for a bit. Then around lunchtime, I pet him some more.”

Me: “So you pull the fish out of the water and pet it?”

Customer: “Only for a few minutes. Why?”

Me: “Fish can’t breath out of water. Didn’t you notice it gasping?”

Customer: “Well, it can just hold its breath, right?”

(Don’t) See How They Run

| Chicago, IL, USA | Pets & Animals, Uncategorized

Customer: “I need to find a cage for my hamster.”

Me: “I can help. Is it a Syrian or a Dwarf?”

Customer: “I don’t know. It’s really tiny.”

Me: “Probably a dwarf.”

(I show her several hamster cages but she doesn’t like any.)

Me: “If your hamster is a dwarf, he might be able to live inside a mouse cage.”

Customer: “What’s that? A mouse?”

Me: “Yes, a mouse.”

(I show her the mice we have for sale).

Customer: “I don’t think I have a hamster. I have one of these.”

Me: “You can’t tell a hamster from a mouse?”

Customer: “I can’t get a good look at them when they run across the garage!”

Will Have To Weight A While

| Massachusetts, USA | At The Checkout, Health & Body, Uncategorized

(A frequent customer comes in and tells me about her new job at a new gym.)

Customer: “Anyway, I was hoping you could put these fliers out on the registers to hand out to your customers?”

Me: “Sorry, but corporate doesn’t allow us to put out fliers for businesses that aren’t related to pet care.”

Customer: “Oh, I understand. Maybe you could keep them in the drawer and just hand them out to the fat customers?”

Deal With The Burning Issue First

| Roseville, CA, USA | Crazy Requests, Uncategorized

(There is a small electrical fire in our backroom. I run out to the nearest placed fire extinguisher and I am literally running while pulling the pin out to put the fire out. A customer gets in my way.)

Customer: “I need you to help me find this brand of cat food.”

Me: “Ma’am, the back room is currently on fire and I am trying to get back there to put it out.”

Customer: “What!? You can’t take two minutes to help me find this cat food.”

Me: “Ma’am. unless you want this whole building to go up in flames I need to you move so I can get to the backroom.”

Customer: “I can’t believe you won’t help me! I am never shopping here again!”

Me: “I don’t care at this point I need you to move.”

(I push her cart out of the way and make it in to the backroom to get the fire out before it causes any serious damage. I then come back out with the obviously used fire extinguisher.)

Customer: “Oh…you weren’t making that up?”

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