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    Go Flush

    | Connecticut, USA |

    Me: “Hello! What can I do for you?”

    Customer: “I need some more goldfish. I keep losing them.”

    Me: “You lose them? How do you lose your goldfish?”

    Customer: “They keep escaping when I clean the tank.”

    Me: “I’m afraid I don’t understand. How do they escape?”

    Customer: “Well, when I clean the tank I put ‘em in the toilet. When I come back, one of them’s always swum down the hole!”

    Me: “I’m going to need to go over a few things with you before I sell you the fish.”

    Reincarnavian

    | Denver, CO, USA |

    Me: “Hi, how are you today?”

    Customer: “I need to buy this bird.”

    Me: “Ok, have you ever had a bird before?”

    Customer: “I’ve had THIS bird before! I need to have this bird! My bird died last week and this bird tells me that he is my bird reincarnated! I need to have this bird.”

    Me: “The bird told you?”

    Customer: “How else would I know?”

    Pray She Hasn’t Got A Cat Called Tom

    | Chicago, IL, USA |

    Customer: “I want a hamster!”

    Me: “Do you have bedding, a cage, and food?”

    Customer: “I need all that stuff?”

    Me: “Where did you think he would live?”

    Customer: *completely serious* “I though I would just feed them cheese and have them live in the hole in my wall like in the cartoons.”

    Drives You Round The U-Bend

    | Big Rapids, MI, USA |

    Customer: “The fish tank I have is really dirty and starting to smell, so I want to clean it but someone told me that I can’t use tap water in a fish tank.”

    Me: “Yeah, you either have to get spring water or buy a bottle of water conditioner, and just add that to the tap water.”

    Customer: “Oh. What if I use toilet water instead of tap water?”

    Catcher In The Sky

    | Detroit, MI, USA | Top

    Customer: “How much is this bird?”

    Me: “Sir, how did you get the bird out of the cage? The cage was locked.”

    Customer: “Oh, I got this one from the birds you have outside by the door.”

    Me: “Those aren’t our birds.”

    Customer: “What?”

    Me: “Sir, you picked up a wild bird. But congratulations, because I can’t imagine it was a simple task.”

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