Inventors Should Get Out Of Their Shell

| Mobile, AL, USA | Crazy Requests, Pets & Animals, Uncategorized

Coworker: *on phone* "For a turtle? No ma’am, we only have those for cats and dogs. … I’ve never heard of that before, but if they exist, we don’t carry them. … I’m sorry, I’m a cashier and I’m not allowed to make those kinds of decisions. … Okay, you’re welcome."

*hangs up phone*

Me: "Did she want a pet carrier for a turtle?"

Coworker: "Yeah, and when I told her that we don’t have them, she asked if we would carry them if she invented one."

Chinchilla, I Choose You

| San Diego, CA, USA | Pets & Animals, Uncategorized

Customer: “Hi, I’m looking for a pet for my daughter. I think she’d like one of those furry things. You know, a pikachu?”

Me: *pause* “A pikachu?”

Customer: “Yeah, you know. It looks like a hamster and a rabbit put together.”

Me: “Do you mean a chinchilla?”

Customer: “Yeah! That’s it!”

Algae Get Another One

| United Kingdom | United Kingdom | Pets & Animals, Uncategorized

(A middle aged couple come into the tropical fish section and ask me about their algae-eating fish.)

Customer: "Hello, we bought some algae eaters a while back, and they died after about 2 weeks. We bought some more and they did exactly the same after 2 weeks and we were just wondering what could have been wrong with them?"

Me: "What have you been feeding them?"

Customer: "Nothing, we thought they ate the algae."

Me: "They do, if there’s enough to go around."

Customer: “Oh dear. Well they did keep the glass awfully clear."

Stupid Customers Come With A Sign

| Staten Island, NY, USA | Pets & Animals, Uncategorized

(I notice a customer standing in our fish department examining the turtle tank.)

Me: “Hello. Do you need help sir?”

Customer: “Oh, I was just looking at your turtles. I have some at home and I’ve been wanting to put goldfish in with them. Can I do that?”

Me: “You can, but turtles will usually eat goldfish.”

(He looks genuinely upset at this fact.)

Customer: “Oh. Well can’t I just put a sign in the tank that says ‘Don’t Eat The Goldfish’ so the turtles will know?”

Me: “Sir, turtles can’t read.”

Customer: “They can’t?”

Me: “No.”

Customer: “Hmm. Well, that’s upsetting.”

Wet The Appetite

| Staten Island, NY, USA | Pets & Animals, Top

(A young woman approaches the front register with a dead Siamese fighting fish in a cup.)

Customer: “I want a refund on my fish. All the fish I buy here keep dying! This is my 3rd replacement. I don’t understand what could be wrong except that you sell sick fish!”

Me: “I’m very sorry for that miss. I assure you we give all of our animals, including our fish, excellent care. Could you describe to me anything you noticed wrong with your fish before it passed away?”

Customer: “Well when I first get one it’s completely fine. I change the water once a week, add water conditioner, and it seems happy and healthy. Then, after a couple of weeks it starts looking really sickly and one day it just dies for no apparent reason.”

Me: “Ok, well what were you feeding it? Was it eating well?”

Customer:“Feeding it? These kind of fish eat?”

Me: “Yes of course they do. Everything needs to eat.”

Customer: “Wow, really?! I thought they just ate the water.”

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