It’s Only Free Ninety-Nine

| Wisconsin, USA | Uncategorized

(We are doing a promotion where every customer gets one free can of cat food with every purchase.)

Me: “Hi, today, we are giving everyone a free can of cat food. Would you be interested in that?”

Customer: “No, I do not have enough money with me today.”

Me: “But ma’am, it’s free.”

Customer: “What? I said no! I do not have the money for it today!”

Someone Has Baggage

| Valdosta, GA, USA | Uncategorized

(The cashier calls me up to the register to check a price for a product that’s ringing up as more than the shelf tag indicated. I run to check, and report back.)

Me: “Yes, sir. I’m sorry, it appears the sale sign was still up. But our system no longer recognizes the sale price. We’ll change the price for you.”

Customer: “Have you ever had a bag placed over your head?”

Me: “Um…no.”

Customer: “Well, you’re fixing the price for me. So today’s not that day.”

The Info Is There But Nothing Clicks

| Burbank, CA, USA | Uncategorized

Me: “Thank you for calling [pet store]. How may I help you?”

Caller: “Hi, do you guys carry [product]?”

Me: “No, but it’s really easy to find on the internet.”

Caller: “Oh. Do you have their number?”

Me: “A phone number for the internet?”

Caller: “Yes.”

Me: “Just turn your computer on, and go online.”

Caller: “So, you don’t have their number?”

Me: “No, ma’am. Just go online.”

Caller: “Oh. Well, can I get a discount?”

Me: “You want a discount from us for a product we don’t carry?”

Caller: “Yes.”

The Dog Isn’t The One That Needs To get Neutered, Part 2

| Philadelphia, PA, USA | Uncategorized

(We run a camp for dogs to play. We often let the owners know of bad dog behavior.)

Customer: “How did our dog do today?”

Me: “Well, sir, he did a lot of humping today.”

Customer: “Just like his dad.”

Customer’s wife: “Oh my God.”

Related:
The Dog Isn’t The One That Needs To Get Neutered

Savior This Customer

| Louisville, KY, USA | Uncategorized

(I am checking out an elderly customer.)

Me: “Okay, ma’am. You’re all set to go. Have a wonderful day!”

Customer: “You too. And keep Jesus close to you. He’s coming back, you know! Coming back to get all of us!”

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