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  • August Theme Of The Month: Best. Customer. Ever!

    Woofing Vicariously

    | Tennessee, USA | Pets & Animals

    (A customer brings in two Chihuahuas for nail trims.)

    Customer: “The male will need to be muzzled.”

    (The groomer prefers not to muzzle a dog unless absolutely necessary, but gets the correctly-sized muzzle, and put it on the dog as requested. The dog struggles a bit, but is not unduly stressed.)

    Customer: *screaming* “Take it off! Take it off! It’s too tight! I’m claustrophobic!”

    Wetness Is In The Eye Of The Beholder

    | Brisbane, Australia | Pets & Animals

    (I operate a mobile pet hydrobath, and I’m brushing knots out of a border collie before washing him. He is still completely dry when his owner comes out of the house.)

    Customer: “Where’s the drowned rat?”

    Me: *laughs* “He’s not drowned yet. I’m just going to brush out these knots.”

    Customer: *to his dog* “Aww, who’s a drowned rat?”

    (I figure he can’t see into the bath and didn’t hear me.)

    Me: “I haven’t washed him yet. I’m just giving him a good brush first.”

    (The owner climbs into the trailer where he can clearly see the completely dry dog.)

    Customer: *to his dog* “Now that’s a drowned rat if ever I saw one!”

    Me: “Heh, not yet—”

    Customer: *to his dog* “Who’s a drowned rat?”

    Bad Owners Unleashed

    | Chicago, IL, USA | Top

    (One of the dogs we are grooming attacks one of the staff. The staff member is taken to surgery to have their bicep muscle reattached. No one is able to enter the salon because the vicious, very large dog is on the loose in the shop. We are standing outside the shop in the main store. We call the dog’s owner, and he arrives two hours later.)

    Customer: “I can’t believe you called the police on my dog! He’s a good dog!”

    Me: “Sir, when we had to call the ambulance, the police came with them. We didn’t call them specifically.”

    Customer: “Yes, you did! You are all racists!”

    Me: “Sir, please just get your dog out of my salon. Other customers want their pets, and your dog is holding my shop hostage.”

    Customer: “My dog doesn’t bite. He’s a nice dog.”

    Me: “Please, just get your dog out of my salon.”

    (The customer goes into the salon, grabs the dog, puts the chain on it and comes out. Everyone backs away. The dog is snarling and lunging at other customers. The police are following him to fill out paperwork.)

    Customer: “By the way, were you able to cut his nails?”

    Hair In Mid-air

    | Orem, UT, USA | Uncategorized

    (A customer brings in a beautiful long haired Shih Tzu for a trim up. As I am petting the dog, I feel that she is very matted.)

    Me: “I am sorry, but Missy is very matted. She needs to be shaved down very close to her skin.”

    Customer: “Oh no, she’s not matted. Can’t you see how long her fur is? I brush her every day.”

    Me: “I’m sure you do, ma’am, but you are only getting the hair on top. The hair on the bottom has become very matted and needs to be shaved.”

    Customer: “Can’t you just shave the bottom and leave the top?”

    Customer Service: Once Bitten, Twice Shy

    | Massachusetts, USA | Uncategorized

    Customer: “Hi, can I get my dogs nails clipped?”

    Me: “Yes, have you been here before?”

    Customer: “Yes.”

    Me: “OK.” *pulling up info* “It looks like your dog’s rabies certificate expired last month.”

    Customer: “I have the papers at home. I’ll bring it in next time.”

    Me: “Sorry sir, we need the current rabies certificate to do nails.”

    Customer: “So you don’t want to do them?”

    Me: “I can’t do them, sir. It’s our policy.”

    Customer: “I thought that was just for grooming.”

    Me: “No sir, it’s for all services. I can’t–”

    Customer: “Fine, I’m never coming back again!” *storms out*

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