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She’ll Probably Run Into This Problem Vegan And Again, Part 3

, , , , | Working | March 7, 2024

A while ago, I had a coworker who was not a bad person by any means but didn’t seem to be raised with any critical thinking skills and tended to rub a lot of our other coworkers the wrong way because of it.

She had been wanting to lose some weight and got the idea that going vegan was some sort of great weight-loss trick. (It’s not.) She was trying to figure out how to go about it, so I figured I’d give her some of the basics since I often baked vegan things to share at work.

Me: “So, basically, vegetarian is no meat, and vegan is nothing that comes from an animal.”

Coworker: *Frowning in intense thought* “But are eggs okay?”

Me: “For vegetarians, but not for vegans, because they come from an animal.”

Repeat several other similar questions, ending with a real gem:

Coworker: “So, is leather okay?”

Me: *Internally facepalming* “No, because leather comes from an animal.”

Folks, this person came from an avid hunting family and should have known very well that leather is made from animal hides.

A few months later, we had a similar conversation with me trying to explain transgender people and brain chemistry and such. I don’t know if any of it stuck, but I do hope she’s doing well wherever she is now and that our talks may have made some difference.

Related:
She’ll Probably Run Into This Problem Vegan And Again, Part 2
She’ll Probably Run Into This Problem Vegan And Again

It Takes A Fish (Or A School) To Help A Dog

, , , , | Friendly | November 23, 2023

I took my dog to the groomer at a pet supply store. We arrived ten minutes early, and they couldn’t take him yet.

That was okay because my poor old man has separation anxiety and has unfortunately never been socialized around other dogs, so he was shaking like a leaf and whimpering. To calm him down somewhat, I decided I’d take him around the store and let him explore all the stuff they had for sale.

He mostly ignored all the toys and the treats, but when we came to the fish department, he just became fascinated as h*** with the fish. We spent the ten minutes watching the fish swim around, and he calmed right down enough that there were no issues taking him into the groomer.

Related:
It Takes A Dog (Or Three) To Help A Dog

Nothing’s Gonna Hold This Husky Down!

, , , , , , | Healthy | November 21, 2023

CONTENT WARNING: Animal Neglect (Happy Ending!)

 

I’ve just clocked in as a groomer at an independent pet store. I look at my schedule for the day and see that all of my appointments have been scrubbed and my manager has just written, “SEE ME, EMERGENCY,” in big letters. Colour me intrigued but also concerned.

I walk across the building to my manager’s office and find her consoling a woman around my age — mid-twenties. There’s a husky frantically trying to lick her face, but the dog yelps every time it moves. It’s climbed into its owner’s lap. I can see from across the room that the poor thing is covered in matted fur, which has tangled so badly near its legs that it can’t stand or move without pulling at the skin and causing pain. The poor dog is also filthy, and someone has clearly tried to shave or chop off some of the matting and nicked the dog several times. The vet we usually get out for sedation and such is standing there, as bewildered as I am.

Manager: “Oh, good, here’s [My Name]! Sweetheart, I told you I would find you the very best to help Nymeria, and she’s it. If anyone can help her, it’s [My Name], okay? And [Vet] is here to have a look at the cuts. They don’t look too bad to me, but we’ll get it sorted out, okay?” 

Dog Owner: *Still crying and hiccuping* “I h-h-had to move here for my new j-j-job, and I left her with my brother. My h-h-house wasn’t ready, and she’d have been miserable in a flat. I s-s-sent him the money to take her to the groomer, but he never took her, and it’s been six months! The airport p-p-people said she cried the whole flight—”

She’s cut off by the dog yelping because her leg slid off the owner’s lap, which causes the owner to start sobbing even louder. My heart breaks; this poor girl clearly loves her dog. I can hear the vet muttering under his breath something unkind about the brother.

Me: “Okay. Deep breaths, everyone! Right. Tears aren’t helping, and they’re upsetting Nymeria. We can fix this. Could you introduce me?”

I was introduced to Nymeria who, to her credit, despite her pain, only gave me about thirty seconds of the husky side-eye before she realized I had dehydrated chicken livers in my pocket. After that, I think she would have gone home with me.

The vet checked the nicks out and found nothing but some surface scratches. There was one particularly deep one near her rear end that he popped some antiseptic on, and then he gave us the go-ahead.

He asked if she usually needed sedation for grooming. By then, my manager had gotten hold of the customer’s old groomer, who was LIVID at the brother. When Nymeria didn’t come in on schedule, she assumed the owner had figured out the housing situation quicker than she expected and had already brought her to live in our town. She gave me some tips for Nymeria — not a biter but tries to escape when you clip her paws, does fine with a sprayer but tries to eat shampoo, and not bothered by a blow dryer but LOVES to sing. She’d been grooming Nymeria since she was a puppy and said she was very loved, well-trained, and all round the goodest girl. She did thankfully warn me that Nymeria was not a typical husky; I couldn’t really tell through all the dirt and matting, but she’s wooly coated, which added an extra layer of complication.

Nymeria let me carry her to the bathtub, happy as could be, inspecting my ear for any hidden treats. It took me seven hours to painstakingly wash, brush, trim, and dry her, but she was a trooper. When I finally had her legs unmatted and she stood up without pain for the first time, she spun in circles for ten minutes and ran around the room like a wind-up toy to get a few months’ worth of zoomies out all at once.

She needed a more extensive haircut than I would have typically given a double-coated dog, but I’m confident that she’ll recover. She went home feeling like a whole new dog with a very grateful owner, who booked a standing appointment every three weeks for the rest of the year on the spot.

I still hope her brother steps on a Lego, though.


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No Waxy The Awoo-woo!

, , , , | Right | October 26, 2023

A lady comes in with a lab-mix dog to get groomed.

Me: “What would you like done?”

Customer: “I want my dog waxed.”

I stare at her for a few seconds.

Me: “We don’t wax dogs.”

Customer: “You will wax my dog’s hair! You’ve done it before!”

Again, confused, I look her up on the computer, and alas, all her dog received was a basic bath and brush package. I try explaining this to her, and she screams at the top of her lungs: 

Customer: “WELL, I’LL JUST GO TO MY LADY THAT WAXES MY VAGINA! SHE’LL WAX MY DOG FOR ME!”

You’ve Moved To The Bottom Rung Of My Priorities

, , , , | Right | July 31, 2023

I work in a pet store unloading trucks in the wee hours of the morning. The pet store also has a grooming salon that opens two hours before the rest of the store.

One morning, due to a combination of scheduling errors and illness, the opening salon team is not there. The manager leaves a note assuring us she has notified all appointments before 10:00 am via phone and offered a 25% discount for the inconvenience of rescheduling. As such, we can not allow people to bring their pets to be groomed. We hang a sign saying the salon is closed until 10:00 am and apologize for the inconvenience.

At 7:30, a woman is struggling to open the door. I walk up but do not open it.

Customer: “I have an appointment. Open up, please.”

Me: “I apologize, but the salon is closed until 10:00 am.”

Customer: “No, I have an appointment. I spoke with [Salon Manager] yesterday about it.”

Me: “Did she tell you the salon would be closed?”

Customer: “Yes, but I… have… an… appointment!

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am. The salon is closed.”

I walk away, not knowing what else to do. I can’t make the salon open, and I’m not going to let her in when we are still closed.

The salon opens at ten, and they are flooded with people trying to reschedule. I am on a ladder retrieving something for another customer when the same woman from before comes up and shakes the ladder.

Customer: “Is the salon open now? Is it? Is it open?”

Me: *Climbing down* “Do not touch a ladder when someone is on it!”

Customer: “You’re a b****!”

Me: “So are you! Get out before I call the cops!”

The woman staggers back as if I hit her. She looks at the other customer I was assisting when she came up.

Customer: “Did you hear her?!”

Other Customer: *Shrugs* “I saw what you did.”

The woman stormed out. I told my manager what had happened, including us calling each other b****es. [Other Customer] backed me up and said she would have done more than just call the woman a name. I never got in trouble, and the woman was banned from using the salon.