Not Always Right on Facebook Not Always Right on Twitter Not Always Right Unfiltered on Tumblr
Featured Story:
  • Crime Can Be A Vicious Cycle
    (1,794 thumbs up)
  • October Theme Of The Month: Coupon Complications!
    Submit your story today!

    Driving Miss Crazy, Part 4

    | Billings, MT, USA | Bad Behavior, Family & Kids

    (A older driver is trying to park her car in the lower parking lot of the events center. We have the lower parking lot blocked off to be used by volunteers.)

    Me: “Excuse me, ma’am. Can I ask you to move your car to the upper parking lot? The lower parking lot is closed. It’s blocked off for the volunteers for today’s event.”

    (She refuses to move her car. We get an officer to tell her to move her car, or get towed. She reluctantly gets in her car, and pulls up 50 feet, but still in the lower parking lot. Volunteers are sitting in my car warming up from the cold weather.)

    Me: “Ma’am, you will have to move your car to the upper parking lot.”

    Driver: “I KNOW WHAT I’M DOING! These people are leaving; I can park here.”

    Me: “No, ma’am. They are warming up. They are volunteers. You will have to park in the upper parking lot.”

    (The driver’s granddaughter in the back seat chimes in.)

    Driver’s Granddaughter: “Grandma, just park up there.”

    Driver: “No! This is my spot. These people had better leave, or I will just ram them out of my spot. My spot!”

    Me: “Listen, lady. I will stand right here so you understand. You will not be parking here. It’s only a two minute walk from the upper parking lot.”

    Driver: “F*** you!”

    (The driver ends up driving through the whole volunteer parking lot looking for a spot, then decides to go to the upper parking lot. I think the altercation is over, until she comes back down, grabbing me by the arm.)

    Driver:See! This car just parked here. That other car left, and you allowed this white car to park here.”

    Me: “That wasn’t the spot you were trying to park in. You were trying to park where that blue car is in front of that blue truck.”

    Driver: “Bull-s***! You’re lying!”

    Me: “Ma’am, that was my car you were threatening to ram. My friends were sitting in that car trying to warm up. They are volunteers. I suggest you calm down, and enjoy this family fun event.”

    Driver’s Granddaughter: “Grandma, he is right. That’s the car up there!”

    Driver: “F*** you both!”

    Related:
    Driving Miss Crazy, Part 3

    Full Of S***

    | Brisbane, Australia |

    (A guy with a dog walks up to our car park.)

    Guy: “Can I bring my dog in here so it can take a dump?”

    Me: “Sorry, we can’t allow you to do that. Plus, you don’t even look like you’re carrying anything to clean up the mess.”

    Guy: “No, I’m not carrying anything to clean it up so you’ll have to do that. My dog needs to go to the toilet. You’re not being very helpful here.”

    Me: “Sorry, I’m just here to direct people to where they need to park.”

    Guy: “Look, my dog needs to go to the toilet and I’m bringing it in.”

    Coworker: “Look, you bloody moron. This is a car park, not a g**d*** toilet! Take your dog and piss off!”

    Guy: “You are not being very helpful at all! ¬†I’m going to go and issue a complaint against you but after I bring my dog in here and let it do its business!”

    Coworker: “You bring your dog in here and we’ll have you fined. This car park is located on government property and allowing a dog to go to the toilet carries a fine.”

    Guy: “It’s people like you who are what is wrong with the world!”

    At Least She Giggled

    | Dallas, TX, USA | Top

    Customer: “I can’t find my valet ticket…”

    Me: “No problem, what’s on your key-chain? Anything specific?”

    Customer: “Keys! With a round thing on it!”

    (No luck, and with customers backing up behind her, I let her look for her own set while I attend to other customers.)

    Customer: “They’re not here! Did you lose my keys? He lost my keys!”

    (I suggest she look again for her claim check, and go back to other customers.)

    Customer: “I don’t see what the problem is, my car is RIGHT THERE!”

    Me: “Ma’am, is it at all possible that you parked your car and you have your keys?”

    (She digs in her purse, giggles, and runs off to her car.)

    Keyless Start, Please Meet Clueless (Old) Fart

    | Indianapolis, IN, USA |

    (A customer comes out and hands me his valet ticket for his car. I go back to the key box and notice that I had written that he hadn’t given me his keys. He had one of those key-less start cars that you don’t need to put in a key to drive, but the key still has to be in the car to start it.)

    Me: “Excuse me, sir, you did not give me the keys to your car.”

    Customer: “Oh yeah. You see this is a key-less start car here, son. You don’t need a key to start it.”

    Me: “Yes, sir, I am aware that it is a key-less start, but I still need the key to be in the car to start it.”

    Customer: “I don’t think you understand me here kid. It is KEY-LESS. You don’t need my key. Now please just go get my car.”

    Me: “Sir, I know what you are saying, but I have parked many other cars like this..”

    Customer: “Listen to me boy! I am an adult! I have had that car for a while, and I think I know a little more about how it works than you, don’t you think?! Now go get my car or I will tell the manager!”

    (I try to tell him once again that I need the key, but he just screams and goes to get the manager. I tell the manager what the problem is.)

    Manager: “Sir, he is correct. You need the key to start the car.”

    Customer: “OH MY GOD!! Are you all idiots here?!”

    (I take him and the manager to his car. I ask him for the key, which he gives me.)

    Me: “Sir, please show me how to start the car without the key inside.”

    Customer: “Ok, fine then!”

    (He tries to press the engine start button, which doesn’t start.)

    Customer: “…”

    Me: “Yes, sir?”

    Customer: “Well, are you going to give me the keys so I can start my car?! Jesus, everyone knows you can’t start this type of car without a key! You should be fired!”

    (That was the night I quit my job.)

    Page 2/212