Customer: *Angrily* “Where are you hiding your shopping carts?!”

I point to the hundreds we keep outside the store.

Customer: “Oh, I thought those were just for display.”

A friend knew we were trying to sell our 2005 PT Cruiser. (Don’t laugh; it was a good car for us and had only about 69,000 miles on it.) He hooked us up with a woman who needed a cheap car. We wanted the sale of our car to be beneficial to both of us, and I feel terrible about the way it turned out. But after having thought about it — a lot — ultimately, we feel that we handled it the right way.

The woman came over to take a test drive. She was already aware that the check engine light was on. I got in the car with her while she drove, and the acceleration was a bit bumpy — a problem I had not had. She attributed it to her “lead foot”, and that seemed likely.

Several times during that test drive, I reminded [Buyer] that the check engine light was on and that I really didn’t know why. I told her I had friends who thought it might be an O2 sensor or some such. I don’t even know what an O2 sensor is. I did not tell her that was the problem; I simply told her that’s what some friends had theorized. She also said, considering the fact that the car had been sitting in the parking lot for quite a while, she was maybe flooding the engine with the bumpy acceleration.

By the way, the next morning, before [Buyer] came back to get the car, I took it out for a quick spin and it ran just fine.

I had lowered the price from $1,000 to $850, and I thought, given the relatively low mileage, it was still a very good price. I made sure [Buyer] understood that the sale agreement was for the car in “AS-IS” condition, with no warranty, expressed or implied. She signed the paperwork and at that point became the owner of the car.

I hate what happened the next day, and if [Buyer] hadn’t become very nasty very quickly, we might have been able to work out something. The fact is that after she bought the car, I headed for the bank, made a deposit, and paid a bunch of bills with the money, so there wasn’t a whole lot left.

Well, the next day, [Buyer] came back loaded for bear. She claimed that a mechanic had told her that whatever the problem was, it would likely cost her close to $1,000 for repairs. Now, this was a car that had sat in the parking lot for months. It had a brand-new battery and alternator. All of the fluids had been checked by our mechanic. She immediately accused me of lying to her (which I had not) and cheating her (which I had not), and she demanded a full refund. I told her I could return $200 to her, but no, she wanted the full amount. 

She said, “I know the law!” — which so often means that someone knows nothing about the law — and told me I was required to refund her money because of a North Carolina law stipulating that she had three days to change her mind and get a refund. I had already looked all of this up, and I once again explained to her that there was no such law in this state and that she now owned the car.  

[Buyer] threatened to call her lawyer, and she did call the police and told them I had cheated her. The police showed up, and the very nice officer took a look at everything and affirmed that I was correct and that [Buyer] was now the owner of the car. He also told her that if she wanted to pursue a civil charge, it would be under the auspices of the sheriff’s office, not local police.

I pointed out again that she knew there was a problem with the car. Right before she chose to make the purchase, she wanted to know if she could drive it to someplace several hundred miles away. I told her that it would be a very good idea to have a mechanic look it over before driving that far. But no. Knowing all this, she decided to buy the car anyway.

Now, if [Buyer] had come to us in a civil manner and not immediately become accusatory and nasty, we might have been able to work something out. I have very little experience with situations like this, but at some point, I just shut down and was unwilling to have any further dealings with her. My wife and I spent several days wondering if we were really terrible people and decided that no, we were not. I hate that it worked out like this but, well, lesson learned.

I parked in a two-hour zone in front of a store that had just opened half an hour before. The city meter maid came through and ticketed every single car on the block for overtime parking!

Security: “Uh, they’ve all only been there for half an hour!”

The meter maid just ignored him.

Half an hour later he came through and ticketed everyone AGAIN! 

It’s the only ticket I have ever gotten in my life, and, unfortunately, it was not worth fighting a $10 ticket.

The company I work for has tried to do various fun activities for the employees over the years. Some have worked better than others. Several years ago, they decided to do an Easter egg hunt in the parking lot. Our parking lot is a large rectangle with plenty of landscaping to hide eggs. The eggs could contain candy, one- or five-dollar bills, or gift cards to nearby stores.

They had us all in the middle of the parking lot. We were told there were no eggs on or under anyone’s cars so not to bother looking there. Then, they told us to go, and everyone took off, running and sometimes screaming in excitement. Not being particularly athletically inclined, I decided to simply stroll around and see what I could find without getting too worked up about it.

I headed toward one end of the parking lot and spotted a pink egg under a large bush with big pink flowers. Several people ran past me and past the bush, but none of them noticed it before I reached it. I was pleased that I’d found at least one. Looking around again, I spotted a green egg under a leafy, green bush. I walked over calmly and retrieved it, as well. Again, several people ran by me before I reached it and none of them noticed.

In the end, as I walked all the way around the lot, I ended up with four eggs and some people had none. The admin people were counting them all up and announced that they had all been found. Some people congratulated me, but a few people glared at me and muttered that there should be a limit to how many anyone was allowed to take. I just ignored them. If there was a limit, I would have obeyed it, but there wasn’t one. I ended up with a handful of candy, six dollars, and a gift card to a restaurant down the street.

The next year, they changed it. They hid eggs around the building in the non-work areas, but the signs said specifically to only take one per person as they wanted to make sure there were enough for all three shifts. Also, there was only candy in these eggs. I got my one egg and was perfectly fine, but I heard that some people never got theirs because people were ignoring the signs and taking more than one.

This happened a few years ago when I was the groundskeeper at a small hospital. In addition to the plants and greenery, I also maintained the parking lot. In the winter, we were very, very generous with our use of sand in the parking lot for pedestrian traction. We couldn’t have patients or staff falling on their way in.

Every spring, once the snow was done for the season, I had to clean up the parking lot. In addition to all the sand, there was usually garbage and stuff that had been hidden under the snow. Usually, I used heavy equipment with a broom attachment, but this particular year, my supervisor brought me a few hundred feet of fire hose, all the fittings, and the special tools required to open a fire hydrant valve. There was a fire hydrant at one end of the parking lot, near an entrance to the lot from a side street, between the sidewalk and the lot. Another hydrant was at the other end of the lot, outside the building.

Me: “Whoa, this is neat. Is the fire department coming to wash our parking lot this year?” 

Supervisor: “No, you’ll be doing it; that’s why I’ve brought you all this equipment.” 

Me: “I’m guessing we have the permission needed to use the fire hydrant? I don’t imagine the City or the Fire Department want just anyone using the fire hydrants.” 

Supervisor: “These fire hydrants actually belong to the hospital, so we don’t need any special permission.” 

This surprised me.

Me: “Really?” 

Supervisor: “Yes.” 

Me: “Are you sure?” 

Supervisor: “Yes.” 

Me: “Are you super certain, [Supervisor]?”

Supervisor: “Yes!”

Me: “Okay, if you say so!” 

I sort of had my doubts, but my supervisor had never led me astray before, so I made plans for my task. I waited for a sunny day above zero degrees. Due to the shape and layout of the lot, I decided to start at the side entrance first, close to the hydrant, and make my way closer to the centre of the lot. All the sand and garbage would be forced to a particular spot where I would remove it from the lot entirely later. I would have to close parts of the parking lot, in sections, so that vehicles weren’t parking in my workspace — and so that I didn’t accidentally blast anyone’s vehicle with high-pressure water. 

Finally, the day to clean the lot arrived. I hooked up my fire hose, ensured that all of the fittings were correctly in place, and opened the valve. As people parked where I wasn’t working, many admired or made comments about my using a fire hose and fire hydrant. Most were surprised that I was allowed to do this. 

A few minutes in, a City truck drove by. I waved, as I usually do when they drive by. Ten more minutes passed, and another City truck drove by. There was a City park nearby, so I figured the City workers were getting a jump start on spring cleaning in the park.

After a few more minutes, an unmarked truck drove into the parking lot and around my barricades. I was annoyed because some people don’t think that signs or barricades apply to them. A man got out of the truck and approached me.

Man: “Hi. I’m [Man] from the City. You cannot use this fire hydrant.” 

I immediately shut off the water.

Me: “I’m sorry. I’m [My Name] from the hospital. My supervisor, [Supervisor], instructed me to do this. I’ll admit, I was surprised this was allowed!” 

Man: “It’s not. Is your supervisor around?” 

Me: “I saw him get in a few minutes ago. Let me give him a call.” 

I called [Supervisor] and told him that [Man] from the City was shutting me down and that he wanted to talk to him. My supervisor agreed and said he’d be right over. 

I asked [Man] if he was okay with me closing the valve and disconnecting my hoses and fittings. He said yes, and he double-checked afterward that the hydrant was secure. 

My supervisor arrived, and he and [Man] had a good chat while I started wrapping up hundreds of feet of hose. As it turned out, we did “own” the hydrant outside the building but not the hydrant on the side street. We could technically use the hydrant outside the building, but probably due to the way that water was delivered to the hydrants, we would still need permission from the City to use it — more of a heads-up, so that if there was a fire elsewhere in the city, the firefighters would be aware that a hydrant was already in use and to shut us down if more water pressure was needed for the real fire. 

My supervisor did not fight the City on this, but he did decide that this was too much of a hassle for cleaning up the parking lot. While it was fun to use a fire hose, I agreed that I could clean the lot like I usually did: with heavy equipment on a rainy day. I don’t know what happened to the fire hose and fittings my supervisor got.