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    Capable Of Handicapping The Capable

    , | TX, USA | Health & Body, Top

    (My grandmother is 96 years old, but she is still able to drive. A car without a handicapped license plate cuts her off and pulls into the handicapped spot, so she has to park further down. She walks with her cane past the 20-something young man who took her spot.)

    Grandmother: “I know we aren’t supposed to judge others because we never know what they are going through, so I am going to assume you needed that parking space more than I did.”

    Young Man: *turning red and not making eye contact* “Sorry about that, ma’am. Um… can I help you into the store?”

    Grandmother: “Thank you, I knew you were really a nice young man.” *takes his arm* “I’ve been a widow for almost 20 years, and it’s been a long time since a man offered to walk me anywhere.”

    It Only Goes Downhill From Here, Part 2

    | CA, USA | Musical Mayhem, Themed Giveaway, Wild & Unruly

    (The venue I am working is on top of a big hill. It has a driveway that leads to a small parking lot which is being used for the choir that is performing. An elderly customer and her daughter pull up.)

    Elderly Customer: “Hi, we’re here for the event.”

    Me: “Great, are you with the choir or a guest?”

    Daughter: “We’re guests, so can we just go up now?”

    Me: “Oh, the parking lot up there is being used for the choir that’s performing tonight. You’ll have to park down here. But if you don’t want to walk, there is a golf cart that can take you up there. He just went up, but he will be back down momentarily.”

    Elderly Customer: “BUT WE CAME TO SEE THE PERFORMANCE! WHY CAN’T WE PARK UP THERE IN THE PARKING LOT? I KNOW IT’S THERE! I’VE BEEN HERE BEFORE! YOU CAN’T TELL ME IT’S NOT THERE! IM OLD, AND CAN’T WALK UP THIS HILL!”

    Me: “Miss, the parking lot up there is being used for the choir that you will be seeing tonight. They all had to drive here so we let them use the parking lot. If you park down here on the road, the golf cart will take you right up to the event. If you were to park in that parking lot, you would have to walk up stairs. The cart will drop you off right at the event and you won’t have to walk up those stairs.”

    Daughter: “WHAT THE F*** DO YOU WANT? WE CAN PARK OUR OWN D*** SELVES!”

    (They drive up to the parking lot. I think I am done with them, and hoping they will get towed. After about five minutes, they come speeding back down the drive way, almost hitting a man and his wife who decided to walk up. They stop to yell at me, and the daughter throws a full, sealed, 32 oz. drink bottle at me. It hits me in the face, causing my nose to bleed. They speed off, never to be seen again.)

    Related:
    It Only Goes Downhill From Here

    Driving Miss Crazy, Part 4

    | Billings, MT, USA | Bad Behavior, Family & Kids

    (A older driver is trying to park her car in the lower parking lot of the events center. We have the lower parking lot blocked off to be used by volunteers.)

    Me: “Excuse me, ma’am. Can I ask you to move your car to the upper parking lot? The lower parking lot is closed. It’s blocked off for the volunteers for today’s event.”

    (She refuses to move her car. We get an officer to tell her to move her car, or get towed. She reluctantly gets in her car, and pulls up 50 feet, but still in the lower parking lot. Volunteers are sitting in my car warming up from the cold weather.)

    Me: “Ma’am, you will have to move your car to the upper parking lot.”

    Driver: “I KNOW WHAT I’M DOING! These people are leaving; I can park here.”

    Me: “No, ma’am. They are warming up. They are volunteers. You will have to park in the upper parking lot.”

    (The driver’s granddaughter in the back seat chimes in.)

    Driver’s Granddaughter: “Grandma, just park up there.”

    Driver: “No! This is my spot. These people had better leave, or I will just ram them out of my spot. My spot!”

    Me: “Listen, lady. I will stand right here so you understand. You will not be parking here. It’s only a two minute walk from the upper parking lot.”

    Driver: “F*** you!”

    (The driver ends up driving through the whole volunteer parking lot looking for a spot, then decides to go to the upper parking lot. I think the altercation is over, until she comes back down, grabbing me by the arm.)

    Driver:See! This car just parked here. That other car left, and you allowed this white car to park here.”

    Me: “That wasn’t the spot you were trying to park in. You were trying to park where that blue car is in front of that blue truck.”

    Driver: “Bull-s***! You’re lying!”

    Me: “Ma’am, that was my car you were threatening to ram. My friends were sitting in that car trying to warm up. They are volunteers. I suggest you calm down, and enjoy this family fun event.”

    Driver’s Granddaughter: “Grandma, he is right. That’s the car up there!”

    Driver: “F*** you both!”

    Related:
    Driving Miss Crazy, Part 3

    Full Of S***

    | Brisbane, Australia |

    (A guy with a dog walks up to our car park.)

    Guy: “Can I bring my dog in here so it can take a dump?”

    Me: “Sorry, we can’t allow you to do that. Plus, you don’t even look like you’re carrying anything to clean up the mess.”

    Guy: “No, I’m not carrying anything to clean it up so you’ll have to do that. My dog needs to go to the toilet. You’re not being very helpful here.”

    Me: “Sorry, I’m just here to direct people to where they need to park.”

    Guy: “Look, my dog needs to go to the toilet and I’m bringing it in.”

    Coworker: “Look, you bloody moron. This is a car park, not a g**d*** toilet! Take your dog and piss off!”

    Guy: “You are not being very helpful at all! ¬†I’m going to go and issue a complaint against you but after I bring my dog in here and let it do its business!”

    Coworker: “You bring your dog in here and we’ll have you fined. This car park is located on government property and allowing a dog to go to the toilet carries a fine.”

    Guy: “It’s people like you who are what is wrong with the world!”

    At Least She Giggled

    | Dallas, TX, USA | Top

    Customer: “I can’t find my valet ticket…”

    Me: “No problem, what’s on your key-chain? Anything specific?”

    Customer: “Keys! With a round thing on it!”

    (No luck, and with customers backing up behind her, I let her look for her own set while I attend to other customers.)

    Customer: “They’re not here! Did you lose my keys? He lost my keys!”

    (I suggest she look again for her claim check, and go back to other customers.)

    Customer: “I don’t see what the problem is, my car is RIGHT THERE!”

    Me: “Ma’am, is it at all possible that you parked your car and you have your keys?”

    (She digs in her purse, giggles, and runs off to her car.)


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