(I’m refereeing a dodgeball game at a widely known indoor trampoline park. I am currently watching over a little kids game. The mother of a crying child approaches me.)
Mother: “Excuse me, but why is my son out?! Is he not allowed to play or something?”
Me: “Ma’am, your son was hit with the ball.”
Mother: “What do you mean?! That other kid clearly targeted my son!”
Me: “I’m sure he did…this is dodgeball.”
Mother: “I don’t get it.”
Me: “You have to dodge balls. If you are hit with a ball in dodgeball, you are out.”
Mother: “This is just stupid!” *leaves with her crying child*
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(I work at the front booth charging entry and parking fees to park visitors. Most of these visitors are tourists from Chicago. The entry fee is different for in-state and out-of-state license plates on the vehicles.)
Me: “Hello! Welcome to [state park]. Do you have a Michigan license plate or an out of state license plate?”
Customer: “No. No, I don’t have that.”
Me: “Are you from Michigan or out-of-state? What is the state on your license plate?”
(Suddenly, the customer screams loudly and throws his hands up in the air as if he were terrified.)
Customer: “My ID! You need to see my ID? I have ID!”
Me: “Sir, I don’t need to see your ID. I just want to know where you are from.”
Customer: “Oh.”
Me: “What state are you from?”
Customer: “Chicago. The state of Chicago.”
Related:
The Great State Of Ignorance
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Tourist: “Have I seen everything there is to see here?”
Me: “I don’t know, ma’am. What have you seen?”
Tourist: “Everything on the way in. Have I seen it all?”
(I point out several of the other options.)
Tourist: “Can I drive through any of the caves?”
Me: “Nope, sorry. They all have to be walked through.”
Tourist: “That’s ridiculous! Is there at least an elevator?”
Me: “Nope, just stairs.”
Tourist: “Well, where’s the river of lava? I was here a few years ago, and I got to stand by the lava.”
Me: “Ma’am, molten lava hasn’t been here for over 1,000 years.”
Tourist: “Yes it has! I’ve seen it! You just haven’t been here long enough!”
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(I am in a public park, riding my quad. A little girl comes up and asks for a ride. Since I’m not accustomed to giving strangers rides, I politely decline. A few minutes later, an angry woman storms up.)
Woman: “Excuse me!”
Me: “Uh, yes?”
Woman: “Why won’t you give my daughter a ride?! You made her cry!”
Me: “Well, I’m sorry about that.”
Woman: “So you’ll give her a ride?”
Me: “No, ma’am, I’m sorry. I just don’t feel comfortable giving strangers rides.”
Woman: “What terrible service! I am going to report you!”
(I hear her on the phone with the police.)
Woman: “Yes, this person refuses to give my daughter a ride on her quad. No, I don’t know her. What?! No, I am not on drugs!”
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(An angry-looking man storms up to me with his camera still around his neck.)
Customer: “I’d like to file a complaint!”
Me: “Sorry to hear that sir. What’s the problem?”
Customer: “Why don’t you call some of your maintenance men to get out in the park and mow the grass?”
Me: (Assuming he means a lawn area, as this is a national park.) “Where did you mean, sir?”
(The customer names one of the park’s prime visitation spot, which is famous for its inner fields.)
Me: “I’m sorry, sir, but the grass is kept long to provide habitats and protection for the animals in the park.”
Customer:”Why the h*** would you do that? Don’t hide them! I paid money to come take pictures of them! The animals are here for me to take pictures of!”
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2,118 Thumbs Up!)
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