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    Say Neigh To Demanding Customers, Part 2

    | Australia | Bizarre, Crazy Requests, Pets & Animals

    (I work for a large adventure playground which is situated in a park. We are strictly a ‘no pets allowed’ establishment; however, the park is popular with dog walkers and is used for obedience and agility classes, so it is a common occurrence to have people come along with their dogs and get frustrated when we have to turn them away. In this situation I am overhearing one of my coworkers speaking on the phone.)

    Coworker #1: “Yes, ma’am, I understand.”

    (Pause.)

    Coworker #1: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but our playground has a strict ‘no pets allowed’ policy.”

    (Longer pause.)

    Coworker #1: “I’m sorry to hear that, but we really can’t make exceptions.”

    (Pause.)

    Coworker #1: “Ye—” *pause* “But I—” *pause* “We—” *pause* “No, th—” *pause*

    (This carries on for some time, until eventually my coworker seems to give up.)

    Coworker #1: *speaking very loudly* “YES, MA’AM, I UNDERSTAND. I’M SORRY WE COULDN’T WORK THINGS OUT. HAVE A NICE DAY.”

    (He hangs up the phone with force and drops his head to the counter.)

    Coworker #2: “Another person wanting to bring their puppy in, huh?”

    Coworker #1: “No. She wanted to bring her HORSE.”

    Related:
    Say Neigh To Demanding Customers

    Theme Of The Park Is All Natural

    | New River Gorge, WV, USA | Extra Stupid, Tourists/Travel

    Customer: “How do you get the boat to spin like we just did? Is it hooked up to wires?”

    Me: “Um… ma’am, we are rafting on a river. This is not a ride. There are no wires.”

    Customer: “I thought this was a ride, like at a theme park.”

    Me: “No, ma’am, this is a real river.”

    Customer: “Oh, okay. Guess I better not fall out, then.” *continues paddling*

    Racism And Ignorance Go Hand In Hand

    | USA | Bigotry, Family & Kids, Top

    (I’m babysitting my three-year-old neighbor, and I bring him to a nearby park. A woman approaches.)

    Woman: “How dare you!”

    Me: “Excuse me?”

    Woman: “I can’t believe you’re bringing your kid out in public like this! You’re setting a bad example for our kids! It’s like you’re saying that teenage pregnancy is alright!”

    Me: “Ma’am, are you saying that I had a kid at age twelve?”

    Woman: “At age twelve? You should be ashamed of yourself!”

    Me: “Ma’am, that kid is my neighbor.”

    Woman: “I’m not going to fall for that! You’re both Chinese! You look exactly like each other!”

    Me: “Ma’am, I’m Chinese, but he’s Korean.”

    (The woman turns bright red and stomps off.)

    My Dog Thinks You’re Nuts

    | Boston, MA, USA | Bigotry, Pets & Animals, Top, Wild & Unruly

    (I work at a dog park, and I get to bring my Great Dane to work with me. Most of my regulars know and love my dog, and he has his own little fan club. My Dane is an obedience champion and has a vast vocabulary of verbal and hand signal commands, including “shake”. However, because of his height, if someone asks him to “shake”, they usually get smacked for their troubles. An unpleasant new visitor to the park begins making disparaging comments.)

    New Visitor: *to me* “Border Collies are a real man’s dog. If you aren’t smart enough for a collie, you get something like that!” *points at my dog*

    Me: “Excuse me, but that’s incredibly rude.”

    New Visitor: “See? What did I tell you? Only a stupid woman would own a stupid dog like that!”

    Regular #1: “Actually, that dog is brilliant.”

    New Visitor: “Whatever. I bet he doesn’t even know how to shake hands.”

    Regular #2: *smiles* “Oh, please try…”

    New Visitor: *to my Great Dane* “Shake!”

    My Great Dane: *smacks him in the crotch*

    Some Owners Need To Be Kept On A Short Leash

    | Arkansas, USA | Pets & Animals

    (I’m a park ranger in a large urban park. The ranger program is new, so people aren’t used to having to follow the rules. One guy in particular is bad about his dog being off leash.)

    Me: “Sir, this is the second time I’ve seen you with your dog at large. Next time, I’m going to write you a ticket.”

    Guy: “This is ridiculous. Where were you two months ago when she was attacked by two dogs?”

    Me: “Sir, if I had been here, I promise I would have done everything I could—”

    Guy: “I mean, you don’t write THEM a ticket! You just come after ME! My dog is perfectly behaved! Being on a leash stresses her out! You should go after the other people!”

    Me: “Sir, were the other dogs off leash?”

    Guy: “Yeah, they were!”

    Me: “So, if they had been on leash, your dog wouldn’t have gotten attacked?”

    Guy: “Yeah, that’s right!”

    Me: “So, would you agree that’s it’s in everyone’s best interest for all dogs to be on leash and under the control of their owners?”

    Guy: “Yeah! I mean, wait… except mine! D*** IT!” *storms off*

    (His dog is now on a leash every time I see him, although he claims she is traumatized by it. The dog? She seems rather nonchalant about the whole thing.)

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