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    Not Painting A Pretty Picture Of Himself

    | BC, Canada | Bigotry, Home Improvement, Theme Of The Month

    (Note: I am female.)

    Me: “Hi there! Is there anything I can give you a hand with?”

    Customer: “Yes, can I speak with your boss?”

    (He points to my coworker, who is a middle-aged gentleman. He has worked here longer than me, but he is not my boss. My coworker hears the customer, comes over, and pats my shoulder.)

    Coworker: “She’s the boss.”

    (The customer is suddenly outraged.)

    Customer: “How dare you! A woman in a hardware store! This blonde b**** probably doesn’t even know the first thing about paint!I want to talk to a man about man stuff!”

    Coworker: “Actually, she used to paint houses professionally before she went to college, and has more experience than anyone in this store when it comes to color theory and technique. She’s also assisted in completely gutting three houses and rebuilding them. That’s more than I could say I, or most of the men in this store, have done themselves.”

    Customer:Lies! Girls don’t f****** know anything about this s***! You’re a f****** liar!” *storms off*

    Customers Providing Change For A Change

    | Oakville, ON, Canada | At The Checkout, Awesome Customers, Money, Theme Of The Month

    (I have seen only one customer all day: a regular contractor who normally goes to another location.)

    Me: “Hey! What do you need?”

    Contractor: “Just a roller sleeve; am I the first you’ve had all day?”

    Coworker: “Well, with the roller you’re buying, so far we’ve made $13.79 today.”

    Contractor: *throws a $50 bill on the counter* “Wow. Use the change to buy some magazines and snacks so you aren’t just sitting here anymore.”

    Me: “Thank you! Oh, wow! You should keep this, but thank you so much. I’m dying of boredom!”

    (Five years later, all I remember about that job was how awful my boss was, and how nice the contractor was every time he came in, no matter what was happening or how long it took to get his paint. He was always wanting the employees to be happy, and whenever he walked in we were.)

    Time To Start Screening The Tourists

    | Utah, USA | Crazy Requests, Criminal/Illegal, Tourists/Travel

    (Every year, my town hosts Sundance, which tends to bring some strange people along with it. I am the only one working in a very small paint store, right before close. A customer comes in and proceeds to look around the store for about 15 minutes.)

    Me: “I am sorry, sir. We are getting ready to close. Can I help you find something?”

    Customer: “I am looking for stuff to make a pipe.”

    Me: “Well, sir, we do have some stuff to fix plumbing pipes.”

    Customer: “No! I need to make a pipe to smoke out of.”

    Me: “Uh, we really don’t have anything like that.”

    Customer: “What the h*** kind of hardware store is this?!”

    Me: “…A paint store?”

    Customer: “Oh… then, can I buy some spray paint to get high on?”

    Me: “No, sir. That is illegal.”

    Customer: “Even during Sundance?”

    Me: “Especially during Sundance!”

    Customer: “Buzzkill!” *walks out*