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    Unraveling Incognito

    | Chicago, IL, USA | Uncategorized

    Me: “This is [name of office]. How may I direct your call?”

    Customer: “Where are you calling from?”

    Me: “You’ve reached [name of office]. How may help you?”

    Customer: “Who is this?”

    Me: “My name is [name]. How may I assist you today?”

    Customer: “Why are you calling?”

    Me: “Ma’am, you called me.”

    Customer: “Yeah, somebody called me.”

    Me: “Alright, what is your name?”

    Customer: “That ain’t none of your business!”

    Me: “Ma’am, without your name, it is impossible for me to find out who called you.”

    Customer: “THEN I GUESS YOU’LL NEVER KNOW!” *hangs up*

    Taxing Faxing, Part 3

    | Michigan, USA | Uncategorized

    Me: “This is [office]. How can I help you?”

    Caller: “I was checking to see if you have received my fax.”

    Me: “I am sorry, that has not been received.”

    (I verify the fax number.)

    Caller: “Well, I wrote on the cover letter to call me if you didn’t receive it. Why didn’t you call me?”

    Related:
    Taxing Faxing, Part 2
    Taxing Faxing

    Zombie Management

    | Torrance, CA, USA | Uncategorized

    Me: *on the phone* “**** Publishing, how can I help you?”

    Caller: “Is Mr. **** in?”

    Me: “I’m sorry, Mr. **** passed away last month.”

    Caller: “Well, when is he coming back?!”

    VIP: Very Irritating Person

    | New York, NY, USA | Uncategorized

    Me: “Thank you for calling ****. How may I direct your call?”

    Caller: “I’m in a meeting.”

    Me: “Excuse me?”

    Caller: “I’m in a meeting.”

    Me: “Sir, I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

    Caller: “I don’t know what you’re talking about. I’m in a meeting.”

    Me: “Sir, you called me.”

    Caller: “Yes, I called to let you know I’m in a meeting.”

    Me: “…” *hangs up*

    Right Place, Wrong Attitude

    | California, USA | Uncategorized

    (I was the second-in-command at a social services agency. One day, our receptionist asked me to take a phone call from a person who was very upset about the way she was being treated, and wanted to talk to the person in charge.)

    Me: “Hello, I’m ****, how can I help you?”

    Caller: *angry* “Are you in charge there?”

    Me: “Yes, ma’am. I am the most senior person here. What can I do for you?”

    Caller: *yelling* “So you have a boss?”

    Me: “Yes, ma’am.”

    Caller: “I’M NOT TALKING TO YOU! I WANT TO TALK TO YOUR SUPERVISOR!”

    Me: “My supervisor isn’t here right now. I have the authority to help you, ma’am, if you’ll just let me know what it is you need–”

    Caller: “I REFUSE TO SPEAK TO ANYONE BUT YOUR SUPERVISOR! YOU ARE ALL USELESS!”

    Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, my supervisor isn’t here right now. I am in charge.”

    Caller: “YOU ARE USELESS!” *hangs up*

    Me: *to the receptionist* “Did she tell you anything about what she needed?”

    Receptionist: “Yes, she said she needed to take anger management classes.”

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