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    Third Time Is Not Charming

    | Salt Lake City, UT, USA | Extra Stupid, Top

    (I work in a ground level office, and am usually the only one working within view of both the front and back doors.)

    Customer: *coming in from the back hallway* “Hello, I’m here for my appointment.”

    Me: “With who?”

    Customer: “With [Name].”

    Me: “I think you’re in the wrong office.”

    Customer: “Oh, terribly sorry.” *goes back down to the backdoor, and reappears from the front door a few minutes later* “Hello, I’m here to see [Name] for my appointment?”

    Me: “Ma’am, this is the same office. You have to go down the stairs in the parking lot to get to [Company Name]. They’re on the basement level.”

    Customer: “Oh! That explains it, thank you!” *heads out the front door again, but wanders back down the back hallway almost immediately*

    Me: “Still in the wrong place, ma’am. You need to go downstairs.”

    Customer: *scowling and glaring* “You’re much less polite than the other two boys!”

    Wrong Said Fred

    | New York, NY, USA | Liars & Scammers, Top

    Me: “May I help you?”

    Caller: “Please put me through to [owner].”

    Me: “Sure, who’s calling please?”

    Caller: “His cousin Fred.”

    Me: “I didn’t know he had a cousin Fred.”

    Caller: “Why would you? You just answer phones! This is a family affair and none of your business! Who do you think you are anyway?”

    Me: “[Owner]‘s daughter.” *click*

    Now Hiring: Paramarketers

    | Nevada, USA |

    (I work as a receptionist at my father’s company. I had a brother who passed away before I was born.)

    Me: “Thank you for calling [name of company]. How may I direct your call?”

    Customer: “Yeah, I need to speak to [name of owner].”

    Me: “All right, sir, what’s your name and purpose of your call?”

    Customer: “Oh, he knows me. I’m his son.”

    Me: “Michael? You’re alive!”

    Customer: *click*

    I Deign That Spain Stays Mainly In The Brain

    | Raleigh, NC, USA |

    Me: “Hello, may I help you?”

    Customer: “Hello. You don’t sound American. Where are you from?”

    Me: “Oh, I’m Spanish.”

    Customer: “Oh, from Mexico.”

    Me: “No, ma’am, I’m Spanish.”

    Customer: “You’re from Puerto Rico?”

    Me: “No, I’m Spanish. I’m from Spain.”

    Customer: “Oh, do they still have that country?”

    Unraveling Incognito

    | Chicago, IL, USA |

    Me: “This is [name of office]. How may I direct your call?”

    Customer: “Where are you calling from?”

    Me: “You’ve reached [name of office]. How may help you?”

    Customer: “Who is this?”

    Me: “My name is [name]. How may I assist you today?”

    Customer: “Why are you calling?”

    Me: “Ma’am, you called me.”

    Customer: “Yeah, somebody called me.”

    Me: “Alright, what is your name?”

    Customer: “That ain’t none of your business!”

    Me: “Ma’am, without your name, it is impossible for me to find out who called you.”

    Customer: “THEN I GUESS YOU’LL NEVER KNOW!” *hangs up*

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