Answering Her Own Calling

| CA, USA | Extra Stupid

(I am an office manager for a window cleaning company. I schedule appointments for customers. When we perform a cleaning, the customer receives an invoice. This invoice has their name, address, and phone number on it, as well as the charges.)

Me: “Window cleaning, how can I help you?”

Caller: “I want to schedule an appointment. I’ve been trying to call you for over an hour and the phone is always busy. What have you been doing?”

Me: “I’m sorry about that, ma’am. The phone shouldn’t be busy. We have several different lines all attached to our number so the answering machine or myself should have picked up.”

Caller: “Well, you didn’t, and I’m very upset. I’ve been a customer with you for years. My name is [name].”

(I pull up her file so I can see all her info, including her phone number.)

Me: “Okay. I am really sorry about that. Can I ask what number you dialed?”

Caller: *lists her phone number, not ours* “I’ve been calling it, and calling it. It’s on my invoice so it has to be the right phone number! When I kept getting the busy signal, I finally tried the number at the top of the invoice, under your company name!”

(Apparently, the customer was dialing her own phone number for over an hour and never realized it!)

Our Faith In Humanity Is Sinking

| Fort Nelson, BC, Canada | Extra Stupid, History, Movies & TV

(I hear two younger girls—maybe 16 or 17—in the hallway talking right outside my office. One of the girls sees a poster on the wall that has something to do with the 100 year anniversary of the sinking of the Titanic.)

Girl #1: “Oh, wow, it’s been 100 years since the Titanic sank. I didn’t know it had been that long.”

Girl #2: “Really? Leonardo DiCaprio sure doesn’t look that old! He must have a lot of work done…”

Problem Exists Between Sign And Keyboard

| Yukon, Canada | Technology

(Note: The public computers in our office have been down and I’m in the process of repairing and cleaning them. As such, I’ve taped “Do Not Use” signs on the computer monitors. A client walks in, sits at the desk, pulls the sign off the monitor, and proceeds to try and use the mouse and keyboard.)

Client: “Why isn’t this working?! I need to check my email!”

Me: “I’m sorry sir, but the computers aren’t working right now. I’m fixing them now. They should be up by this afternoon.”

Client: “I need to check my email right now! I demand you make them work!”

Me: “Sir, I’m sorry, but you can’t use the computer right now.”

Client: “And WHY NOT?!”

(I point to the computer tower on my work desk that’s currently in pieces.)

Me: “This is the computer, sir.”

Client: “So? I shouldn’t need that thing to make it work! All the important parts are still right here!”

(The “important parts” he’s referring to? The monitor and keyboard.)

Really Fond-a Of Rhonda

| Cleveland, OH, USA | Extra Stupid

Receptionist: “Hi, this is (company). May I direct your call?”

Caller: “Yeah, I need to speak to Rhonda.”

Receptionist: I’m sorry, but we don’t have anyone here by that name.”

Caller: “RHONDA! RHONDA! I need to talk to Rhonda!”

Receptionist: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but there is no one here named Rhonda. What department were you trying to reach?”

Caller: “The newsletter girl! I want to talk to Rhonda!”

Receptionist: “Oh, Sue is in charge of the newsletters. I can transfer you to her right now.”

Caller: “Why did she change her name?!”

The Wall Of Somebodies

| California, USA | Uncategorized

(I work at the front desk of an office. Note that we have pictures of our founder with celebrities on the wall. On this day, we have a guest waiting for one of our executives. He examines the celebrity pictures while he waits.)

Guest: “Who are these people? Are they former employees?”

Me: “No, they are celebrities.”

(The guest looks at the pictures, which include Whitney Houston, Clint Eastwood, and Al Gore.)

Guest: “Huh, I don’t think I’ve heard of them…”

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