Me: “Hello, may I help you?”

Customer: “Hello. You don’t sound American. Where are you from?”

Me: “Oh, I’m Spanish.”

Customer: “Oh, from Mexico.”

Me: “No, ma’am, I’m Spanish.”

Customer: “You’re from Puerto Rico?”

Me: “No, I’m Spanish. I’m from Spain.”

Customer: “Oh, do they still have that country?”

Me: “This is [name of office]. How may I direct your call?”

Customer: “Where are you calling from?”

Me: “You’ve reached [name of office]. How may help you?”

Customer: “Who is this?”

Me: “My name is [name]. How may I assist you today?”

Customer: “Why are you calling?”

Me: “Ma’am, you called me.”

Customer: “Yeah, somebody called me.”

Me: “Alright, what is your name?”

Customer: “That ain’t none of your business!”

Me: “Ma’am, without your name, it is impossible for me to find out who called you.”

Customer: “THEN I GUESS YOU’LL NEVER KNOW!” *hangs up*

Me: “This is [office]. How can I help you?”

Caller: “I was checking to see if you have received my fax.”

Me: “I am sorry, that has not been received.”

(I verify the fax number.)

Caller: “Well, I wrote on the cover letter to call me if you didn’t receive it. Why didn’t you call me?”

Related:
Taxing Faxing, Part 2
Taxing Faxing

Me: *on the phone* “**** Publishing, how can I help you?”

Caller: “Is Mr. **** in?”

Me: “I’m sorry, Mr. **** passed away last month.”

Caller: “Well, when is he coming back?!”

Me: “Thank you for calling ****. How may I direct your call?”

Caller: “I’m in a meeting.”

Me: “Excuse me?”

Caller: “I’m in a meeting.”

Me: “Sir, I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

Caller: “I don’t know what you’re talking about. I’m in a meeting.”

Me: “Sir, you called me.”

Caller: “Yes, I called to let you know I’m in a meeting.”

Me: “…” *hangs up*