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    Directionless Call, Part 2

    | Chicago, IL, USA | Funny Names

    Me: "Hello, this is [Company Name]."

    Caller: "Hi, who just called me?"

    Me: "I’m not sure. You’ve reached general reception."

    Caller: "Well, someone just called me from this number."

    Me: "Sorry, but there’s no way for me to tell who called you, as this is the general number."

    Customer: "What are you?"

    (I explain the company.)

    Customer: "I didn’t understand anything about what you just said. Why did you call me?"

    Me: "It could be a wrong number."

    Customer: "Ugh, fine. Stop wasting my time by calling me if you don’t know who you are, please!"

    Related:
    Directionless Call

    When The Boob Tube Just Won’t Do

    | California, USA | Rude & Risque

    (I work at an office that has various different offices and 2 small studios for some of the graphic designers, movie editors, and musicians that work with us. I work as one of the tech support guys and am fixing the computer at the reception desk when a teenager walks in.)

    Customer: “Hey, do you work here?”

    Me: “Yeah, can I help you?”

    Customer: “So what do you guys do here?”

    Me: “Well everyone here does something different, I happen to be tech support.”

    Customer: “Cool, do they make movies here?”

    Me: “I’m not sure, they might.”

    Customer: “Right on, do you know what kind?”

    Me: “Well they have a green screen so I’m not sure.”

    Customer: “Do you know if they make any adult movies here?”

    Me: “Like I said I’m not sure, I’m not sure what they do in the studios.”

    Customer: “Can I take a tour?”

    Me: “Look, I’m the tech support guy, I’m not authorized to give
    you a tour.”

    Customer: “Come on, I’ll give you $5!”

    Me: “I’m not going to risk my job over $5.”

    Customer: “I swear, people like you make it hard for people like me to see boobies!”

    Third Time Is Not Charming

    | Salt Lake City, UT, USA | Extra Stupid, Top

    (I work in a ground level office, and am usually the only one working within view of both the front and back doors.)

    Customer: *coming in from the back hallway* “Hello, I’m here for my appointment.”

    Me: “With who?”

    Customer: “With [Name].”

    Me: “I think you’re in the wrong office.”

    Customer: “Oh, terribly sorry.” *goes back down to the backdoor, and reappears from the front door a few minutes later* “Hello, I’m here to see [Name] for my appointment?”

    Me: “Ma’am, this is the same office. You have to go down the stairs in the parking lot to get to [Company Name]. They’re on the basement level.”

    Customer: “Oh! That explains it, thank you!” *heads out the front door again, but wanders back down the back hallway almost immediately*

    Me: “Still in the wrong place, ma’am. You need to go downstairs.”

    Customer: *scowling and glaring* “You’re much less polite than the other two boys!”

    Wrong Said Fred

    | New York, NY, USA | Liars & Scammers, Top

    Me: “May I help you?”

    Caller: “Please put me through to [owner].”

    Me: “Sure, who’s calling please?”

    Caller: “His cousin Fred.”

    Me: “I didn’t know he had a cousin Fred.”

    Caller: “Why would you? You just answer phones! This is a family affair and none of your business! Who do you think you are anyway?”

    Me: “[Owner]‘s daughter.” *click*

    Now Hiring: Paramarketers

    | Nevada, USA |

    (I work as a receptionist at my father’s company. I had a brother who passed away before I was born.)

    Me: “Thank you for calling [name of company]. How may I direct your call?”

    Customer: “Yeah, I need to speak to [name of owner].”

    Me: “All right, sir, what’s your name and purpose of your call?”

    Customer: “Oh, he knows me. I’m his son.”

    Me: “Michael? You’re alive!”

    Customer: *click*


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