Customer: “My TV has a USB port and the manual says I need something to plug into it to be able to record. A HDD, or SSD, or an STD or something.”
Me: “Oh, a hard drive! Sure, let me show you where they are.”
(I show the customer to the hard drives and we discuss how much space he needs.)
Customer: “So, should I get the 320GB or the 750GB STD?”
Me: “Uh, well it depends on how much you think you’ll be recording.”
Customer: “Well, at this price, I’ll just get the cheaper one. Then, if it fills up, I can get more. My family can swap STDs whenever they need to, then!”
(
640 Thumbs Up!)
(Note: this is an office supply store.)
Customer: “Do you sell condiments?”
Me: *confused* “Condiments? Like ketchup and mustard? No.”
Customer: “No, like, plastic forks.”
Me: “You mean…cutlery?”
Customer: “Yeah, I guess.”
Me: “No, we don’t sell cutlery either…”
(
633 Thumbs Up!)
(A customer comes to my till with two boxes of envelopes.)
Me: “Do you need stamps for your envelopes?”
Customer: “What?”
Me: “Do you need stamps for your envelopes?”
Customer: “What?”
Me: “Do you need stamps?”
Customer: *stares*
Me: “For your envelopes?”
Customer: “What are stamps?”
Me: “Mailing stamps…for your envelopes.”
Customer: *stares*
Me: “To mail your envelopes.”
Customer: “Oh. No.”
(
974 Thumbs Up!)
(I have been helping a 50-60 year old woman find a specific type of pen.)
Customer: “You know why I came to this [store]? I came here because of your energy. I am your guardian angel.”
Me: “Oh…um, okay.”
Customer: “I sense great things from you. You are a fifth level Warrior goddess.”
Me: “Thank you?”
Customer: “I’m serious! You are Cleopatra reincarnate. Prince Albert reincarnate. Queen Elizabeth, the good one. You have an amazing energy!”
Me: “That’s pretty awesome.”
Customer: “You are a warrior goddess! Since I am your guardian, I can give you guidance, is there anything you want to know?
Me: “I’m really okay.”
(She then takes her Native American style beaded necklace and puts it on my forehead.)
Customer: “You are now blessed!”
Me: “Thank you. Do you need anything else?”
Customer: “Where are the padlocks?”
(
1,505 Thumbs Up!)
(I approach a confused looking woman standing in the ink cartridge aisle.)
Me: “How are you today, ma’am? Can I help you find the correct ink?”
Customer: “Yeah, thank you.”
Me: “Do you know which cartridge or what model printer you have?”
Customer: “No, but it’s one of these.”
(There are literally hundreds of ink cartridges in this aisle.)
Me: “Could you be a little more specific?”
Customer: “Well, it takes black…”
(
1,003 Thumbs Up!)
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