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  • Had It Up To Their Neck With Bad Customers
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    He’s Got Bigot Written All Over Him

    | Absecon, NJ, USA | Bigotry, Health & Body, Themed Giveaway

    (I am a 20-year-old girl, with several tattoos. Only the clover on my wrist is visible. An older customer comes in at least once a week.)

    Older Customer: “What happens when you get older and the tattoo looks bad?”

    Me: “That’s part of the experience of having a tattoo; it grows with you. Plus, I’m Irish, so it’s part of my heritage. It’s not like I’m going to regret it.”

    Customer: “Yes, you will. When you get old, it will get ugly, and you’ll hate it.”

    Me: “Sir, no offense, but it’s my heritage. That is not something I will hate. And even if it does get ugly, the rest of me will be wrinkled too. And really, it isn’t any of your business or concern what I do to my body.”

    (A male coworker comes up, who also has a visible tattoo. The customer says nothing to him.)

    Me: “What about his tattoo?”

    Customer: “Oh, it doesn’t matter; he’s a man. Women just shouldn’t get tattoos. They’ll make them ugly later on.”

    P2P Not-Working

    | Bakersfield, CA, USA | Criminal/Illegal, Family & Kids, Technology, Themed Giveaway

    (A customer approaches, and angrily sets down her laptop.)

    Me: “Hi there, how can I help you?”

    Customer: “I purchased this laptop two months ago, and you guys installed antivirus on here. Now I have a virus on my computer. I barely use it and rarely even go on the internet, so obviously they’re defective. I want a refund.”

    Me: “I’ll be happy to help, ma’am. Would you mind if I run our free in-store diagnostic test, just to make sure that it is a virus?”

    Customer: “Fine, but it’ll be a waste of time; this shouldn’t have happened and—”

    (The customer continues ranting about how inept our technology items are. Meanwhile, I am running our diagnostic, and even superficially I can tell that it has a virus infection. Curious, I also quickly pull open the program list. I notice something interesting.)

    Me: “Ma’am, do you know what [software name] is?”

    Customer: “Uh, no…”

    Me: “It’s a peer-to-peer sharing program. It’s one of the ways that people can illegally download music, movies, and the like. It’s also a very common way to get viruses, since anyone can upload anything to the P2P network.”

    Customer: “But I would never do anything like that.”

    Me: “Ma’am, does anyone else use your computer?”

    (The customer’s face suddenly drops.)

    Customer: “My daughter…”

    Me: “Does she have her own account with parental controls, or do you let her use your account?”

    Customer: “She uses mine.”

    Me: “Well, most likely she’s been using it to download files, and that’s how you got the virus.”

    Customer: “But the antivirus software you guys installed should’ve stopped this!”

    Me: “Antiviruses aren’t magic walls, ma’am. If you allow viruses to get past the protocols, which this would, viruses can get through. Normally, the software should issue a warning, but most likely your daughter ignored that when she downloaded the files.”

    Customer: “Oh… Well, how much is this going to cost me to fix?”

    (I give her the quote, which she dutifully pays. As I hand her the receipt, she mentions one last thing.)

    Customer: “When I get home, that girl is going to be grounded so hard! That money is coming out of her bank account!”

    Brace(let) Yourself For A Good Cause

    | Reisterstown, MD, USA | Awesome Customers, Bigotry, Family & Kids

    (We sell rubber bracelets in different colors that say one of the following: ‘Be Brave; Be Amazing; Be Kind; Be Accepting, Be Involved; Be Yourself’. When purchased, they donate money to a foundation that prevents bullying of children in school. A mother and her 8-year-old daughter are in the store looking at the bracelets.)

    Daughter: “Mom, can I get one of these?”

    Mom: “Yeah, sure. Which one?”

    Daughter: “I’m not sure. I like all of them. They say such nice things.”

    Mom: “Yeah, they say really nice things, but I don’t like ‘Be Accepting’.”

    Daughter: “Well, why not?”

    Mom: “It sounds lame or something.”

    Me: *gives the mother a dirty look*

    Daughter: *catches on and buys the ‘Be Brave’ bracelet*

    Two Rows Don’t Make A Right

    | Denver, CO, USA | Top, Transportation

    (Walking out to grab some carts, I see a customer with a valid temporary disability sticker park his large truck across both of our designated slots. He’s still in his truck when I approach him.)

    Me: “Sir, I just wanted to let you know that you are parked in both of our slots.”

    Customer: “So what?! I’m handicapped and need a spot. You can’t tell me that I can’t park here.”

    Me: “Sir, I am just saying that you are in both spots and if another disabled person were to come by, they would not be able to get a wheelchair out of their vehicle.”

    Customer: “Well f*** them, and f*** you too!”

    (He immediately restarts his truck, backs up, and parks as completely through both spots as possible.)

    Me: “Sir, don’t you think you may be going a little to far with this?”

    Customer: “I told you to go f*** yourself!”

    (He gets out of his truck and I see that his disability is a broken wrist. The cops at the other end of the lot had a little pink present for him when he came back out of the store, though.)

    How To Count On Feeling Like A 8008

    | Prescott, AZ, USA | Extra Stupid, Technology

    (I am working in the electronics section of a store. A customer approaches me to get a calculator for doing taxes. I ensure she has a decently priced calculator, two rolls of paper and extra batteries since she doesn’t have a power adapter. She leaves happily. A few hours later, she returns.)

    Customer: *holds the calculator like a hurt puppy* “Something is wrong with the calculator.”

    Me: “Oh, I am sorry to hear that. What seems to be wrong?”

    Customer: “The display doesn’t seem to be working. I wanted to see about a refund, if possible.”

    Me: “Sure, let me take a look at it.”

    (I begin to take a look over the calculator, checking things like ensuring the batteries are inserted properly, that there’s no visible damage to the casing, and that the calculator had been switched to the “on” position. My eyes wander to the display, and then I look back at her.)

    Me: “I can see why the display isn’t working.”

    Customer: “Oh, good! Could you fix it?”

    (I remove the demo sticker that goes over the display, and hold out the now-working calculator to the customer.)

    Customer: “Um…thank you…” *leaves, embarassed*


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