Along one wall of our store, we have a small display rack with common office supplies for sale — Post-It pads, pens, pencils, paper clips, and things like that. A woman in her fifties comes in to make a few copies and buys a stapler kit (a stapler and a box of staples) from the display.

The following morning, she returns to the shop very irate.

Customer: “My stapler is broken! I want a refund!”

I tested the stapler and found that it was out of staples. I figured she had removed the rest of the staples when she was trying to figure out what the problem was, so I opened it up, slid in a new brick, and gave it a go. It worked perfectly. I was about to tell the woman that I didn’t know what the problem was, but when I looked up, I found her gawking at me as if I had just pulled a live weasel out of my nose.

It was then that I realized she had used up the brick of staples that was in the stapler but never put another one in, and from the look on her face, she was unaware that such a thing was even possible.

Apparently, she thought the stapler would just, I don’t know, get smaller and smaller until all of its metal was turned into staples?

We sell little “Windows Product Activation” cards. A guy, his wife, and a buddy or two buy a computer, in cash. They also buy the Windows Product Key Card (for Office Home & Business).

This guy comes back the next day.

Customer: “I’m here to return the Product Key Card. The computer already has the software installed on it.”

Me: “The computer only comes with a trial version of the software, with a free month. You need the Product Key Card you purchased to make it the permanent version.”

Customer: “No, I have to return it.”

Well, sadly for this guy, we can’t return those key cards because it’s already been activated, the back part that covers the key has been torn off, and you simply cannot return them: store policy. I tell him this and he flips, screaming and yelling at me, so I call my manager over.

My manager comes over in a semi-rushed jog because he hears this guy screaming from the other side of the store. My manager asks what’s up before speaking to the guy, and I just hold up the back of the card and say:

Me: “He wants to return it.”

From there, my manager tells him everything I told him, and he starts yelling at my manager.

They’re pretty much face to face now, getting ready to pummel each other’s faces in, when my general manager (who has heard everything since my manager arrived) comes over.

General Manager: “You have thirty seconds to get out of my store before the cops get here.”

The guy booked it, and I haven’t seen him since that encounter.

I work at a mail-order office supply store back in the early noughties (2000s).

Caller: “I’m looking for a particular type of copy paper.”

Me: “We can find that for you. What type of paper is it?”

Caller: “Well, I don’t know the name of it. Can I fax it over so you can match it?”

Related:
Taxing Faxing, Part 36
Taxing Faxing, Part 35
Taxing Faxing, Part 34
Taxing Faxing, Part 33
Taxing Faxing, Part 32

Our office supply store has some fake plants for desk decoration.

Customer: *To my coworker* “Are these real fake plants?”

Coworker: *Eye twitch*

I worked at a big box office supply store for many years, essentially acting as an unofficial assistant manager. One day, in the week leading up to Easter, we had an older lady come in and march up to the cash register.

Lady: “If you are open on Easter Sunday, I will never shop in your store again!”

Me: “We don’t get to decide that at the store level; it’s decided by corporate.”

She left unhappy, and on the Monday after Easter, she came back in to return all of her recently purchased items. I have no idea if she came back after that as she wasn’t enough of a regular for me to recognize, and if she didn’t, I have no idea where she shopped after that since basically, no one closes for Easter Sunday anymore.

Check out more Easter-themed stories like this one in our roundup: 17 Egg-tacular Easter Customer Stories From Weird, To Woeful, To Wonderful!