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    Colorful Employees

    , | IL, USA | Bigotry, Criminal/Illegal, Food & Drink

    (I am the guest relations person, so I return calls from disgruntled customers all the time. The restaurants are fast food and all have drive thrus.)

    Customer: “Did you know you have gang members hanging around your [Location] restaurant?!”

    Me: “No, sir, I did not. Have you spoken with the manager of the establishment about this?”

    Customer: “I did and he laughed me off!”

    Me: “I’m very sorry about that, sir. We ask that our manager’s take guest concerns seriously. Where are you witnessing gang members around the facility?”

    Customer: “He should be able to see them. They are hanging out in your driveway there, all wearing the same clothes ALL THE TIME!”

    Me: “How are they dressed?”

    Customer: “They are wearing black shirts, khakis, and hats! They are always there until you guys close!”

    Me: “Sir, you are describing our drive thru staff. They are wearing our uniform and stationed outside to take orders.”

    Customer: “But they’re all black and Mexican!”

    Me: “We are an equal opportunity employer and do not discriminate who we hire.”

    Customer: “This is bulls***! I want to talk to your manager!”

    Me: “Sir, you can talk to my manager if you’d like but you are describing our staff. They are not a gang and there would be nothing she would be able to do about it.”

    Customer: “I SAID I WANT TO TALK TO YOUR MANAGER!”

    (My manager explained the same thing I did and the customer screamed so loudly we hung up.)

    Sharing A Story About Not Sharing

    | CA, USA | Awesome Customers, Family & Kids, Food & Drink, Top

    (A coworker is offering macaroons at work. He had never had them before but had bought a whole lot of them, and we get to hear the story of why he had bought them.)

    Coworker: “There’s a cake shop near my house. I go there all the time, and there’s a regular customer I see there who is really mean. That day she said she was going to buy some macaroons and not share any with her grandkids. I was ahead of her in line, so when it was my turn, I said ‘I’d like to buy all your macaroons!.’”

    Tripping About Shipping

    | Monroe, CT, USA | Bad Behavior, Crazy Requests, Transportation

    (I work in a factory office that sells school supplies around the country. We receive purchase orders via e-mail, regular mail, and fax. Most of the calls we receive tend to be about checking the status of deliveries and orders received.)

    Me: “Thank you for calling [Company]. How many I help you?”

    Caller: “I would like to say that the way you shipped out my order is unacceptable and not according to what I requested in the fax. I demand to be compensated!”

    Me: “Okay, I apologize for the inconvenience. May I have the purchase order number so I can look into it, please?”

    Caller: “Yes, it’s [number].”

    (Her account has several notations, mainly about reps trying to contact the customer about her order which has over $400 worth of goods. She requested in her fax that she wanted her order divided up into four separate shipments, one for each teacher that the goods are to go to. Company policy won’t allow us to do that as doing so will increase shipping costs. The last notation reads that a rep spoke with the school secretary and explained the company policy about shipments. She was advised she could choose to either have everything shipped together or she could fax separate purchase orders with each teacher’s name. The notes showed she chose the former option.)

    Caller: “That’s unacceptable! I did not give permission to do that. You should have asked for me specifically.”

    Me: “According to these notes, the rep did and got the secretary instead.”

    Caller: “Sir! The secretary does not have permission to make changes to purchase orders. You should have asked for me! I should be compensated for this.”

    Me: “With all due respect, ma’am, that’s not company error. The secretary should have told you what happened.”

    Caller: “Don’t you think you should’ve told her to let me know?”

    Me: “Ma’am, she’s your secretary! It should go without saying that if she gets a call about your order, if she makes a change to it she should let you know. It’s not our error if she doesn’t do that. I’m sorry, but according to these notes the rep did ask for you. He did explain the situation to the secretary and he asked her if she had authorization to make changes to the order. She said yes and the changes were made.”

    Caller: “Well, I’m telling you now she should not have done that!! That rep should have asked for me specifically because the order is now ruined! It’s four other secretaries and I sorting out over six boxes of products that are scattered everywhere. It’s a complete mess that is taking too much time. I have to deal with all this aggravation because of your incompetence.”

    Me: “I’m sorry you feel that way. As I explained before, company policy won’t—”

    Caller: “I DON’T GIVE A F**** ABOUT WHAT YOUR COMPANY POLICY SAYS! I’m pissed the f**** off!”

    Me: “Ma’am, there’s no need to yell and raise your voice like that. Please be advised if you continue to use that language and tone this call will be disconnected.”

    Caller: *scoffs* “This is so aggravating! I’m so upset. I should return everything and make you pay for the return shipment.”

    Me: “Please be advised that we’re not going to do that as you placed this order out of your own volition. At no point in this phone call did you state you received incorrect merchandise. Also, be mindful that it would take more effort on your part to package everything up and return back versus you already going through the process of sorting out the merchandise.”

    Caller: “This is nonsense! I should call the Better Business Bureau on you people and my secretary!”

    Me: “You’re going to complain to the Better Business Bureau that we correctly filled your order, that your secretary did not inform you of our phone call, and the secretary that either you or your school hired didn’t do your job?”

    (The caller let out a huge scream, then hung up. When I checked on the account later on in the day notes were left stating she spoke with a manager who told her the same thing.)

    Not Worthy Of The Name

    | TX, USA | Funny Names, Theme Of The Month

    Me: “Thank you for calling [Company] Finance. This is Liz. How may I help you?”

    Caller: “Who?”

    Me: “This is Liz at [Company] Finance. Can I help you?”

    Caller: “Stephanie, what kind of business is this?”

    Me: “Well, this is LIZ, and we are a loan office.”

    Caller: “Stephanie, I need a liability quote for a vehicle.”

    Me: *facepalm*

    Mother Is On The Job

    | Edmonton, AB, Canada | Bizarre, Crazy Requests, Family & Kids

    (My workplace provides career advice for youth and young adults. We sometimes have parents come in to ask for help. However, these parents didn’t think to bring their kid with them.)

    Mother: *walking up to the reception desk* “Are companies even hiring students?”

    Me: “Uhm… yes. Yes, they are. It’s summer – there are a lot of seasonal positions to fill.”

    Mother: “But my son can’t find a job.”

    Me: *looking behind her to try to spot her son* “It can take a little bit to find something. Has he come in to see us yet?”

    Mother: “No, he doesn’t want to.”

    Me: “Well, it would be a good first step. Does he have a resume yet? Has he written cover letters before?”

    Mother: “He’s got a resume, but I write his cover letters for him.”

    Me: *hoping I heard her wrong* “I’m sorry? You write them for him?”

    Mother: “Yeah, or he wouldn’t do it!”

    Me: “Well, he really has to be the one to write them; it’s not a good situation if the employer is under the impression your son is writing them when he’s not.”

    Mother: “Oh, I tell them.”

    Me: “Sorry?”

    Mother: “I write, ‘I’m writing on behalf of my 16-year-old son, who is in need of a job.’ They know it’s not him. He doesn’t know I’m applying to jobs for him.”

    Me: “…”

    Mother: *becoming irate* “He needs a job!”

    Me: “I understand, ma’am. But you can’t apply to jobs for your son. He has to apply for them himself.”

    Mother: “But he won’t apply on his own! All he does is sit on his a**s in the basement and play video  games!”

    Me: *trying to sound professional* “Ma’am, have you considered banning him from playing games until he applies for jobs?”

    Mother: *affronted* “I can’t do that to my son! That would be cruel! He just needs a job!”

    Me: “Well, I’m sorry, ma’am. I can’t give him a job. He has to go out and earn one for himself.”

    Mother: “Fine, then.”

    (She turned to leave and I noticed her husband had been face-palming behind her, shaking his head in shame.)

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