Featured Story:
  • A Caffeinated Christmas Miracle
    (2,985 thumbs up)
  • Marie, Marie, Quite Contrary

    | Salt Lake City, UT, USA | Funny Names

    (Though I’m not the receptionist, I answer the main phone line at work, so I’m responsible for routing calls and answering general questions.)

    Me: “Thank you for calling [Company]. This is [My Name]. How may I help you?”

    Caller: “Can I talk to Marie?”

    Me: “I’m sorry; we don’t have anyone here by that name.”

    Caller: “Marie Stevens?”

    Me: “Sorry, there’s still no one here named Marie.”

    Doesn’t Quite Get The Message

    | Portland, OR, USA | Bad Behavior, Extra Stupid

    (I am a receptionist and all incoming calls come to me, I also have two coworkers with the same first name.)

    Me: “Good afternoon, [Company].”

    Customer: “I missed a call from this number.”

    Me: “I am sorry. All incoming calls come through my desk and I have no way of knowing who placed an outgoing call to your number. What company are you with? I might be able to look up who your project manager is.”

    Customer: “[Other Company].”

    Me: “I am sorry, but I don’t seem to have your company in my system. Did the person that called happen to leave a message?”

    Customer: “Yes, but I don’t listen to my messages.”

    Me: “I apologize, but the best way for us to know who called you is for you to listen to the message.”

    Customer: “Fine!” *click*

    (Phone rings, it is the same customer.)

    Customer: “Can I talk to [Coworker First Name]?”

    Me: “May I ask, is that [Coworker First and Last Name #1] or [Coworker First and Last Name #2]?

    Customer: “How am I supposed to know? They only said [First Name].

    Me: “All right, did they tell you the nature of this call in the message?”

    Customer: “I don’t know; I didn’t listen that far. Just let me talk to [First Name].”

    Me: “Okay, sir, please hold while I determine which one of them called you. May I please get your name and company again?”

    Customer: “No!” *click*

    (He didn’t call back after that so I don’t know if he ever figured it out.)

    Should Hold His Tongue

    | England, UK | Bizarre

    Me: “[Booking Office]. How can I help?”

    Customer: “Yes, I’d like— Wait a minute. You’re the voice on the ‘on hold’ message!”

    Me: “Yes, that’s right.”

    Customer: “OH MY GOD! YOUR VOICE IS ANNOYING!”

    Me: “Er… sorry?”

    Bigots United

    | MA, USA | Bigotry, Crazy Requests, Extra Stupid

    (I am the assistant manager at a rent-to-own home goods company. Since payments pay for the week in advance there are no grace periods and, due to the customer base, repossessions are common. I am female, white, pagan, and lesbian. My boss is male, Cambodian, Buddhist, and an immigrant.)

    Customer: *storms in* “You guys are racist! I’m gonna sue you all!”

    Me: “Hi! How can I help you today?”

    Customer: “Your truck showed up and took my s***! I want it back now or I’ll sue you f*** racists!”

    Me: “Let me take a look at your account so we can figure out what is going on. What’s your name?”

    Customer: “You know d** well what my name is! This whole store is a bunch of f****** racists.”

    (Aside from myself and the manager we only have two other employees. One is male, Hispanic, and very Catholic, and the other is male, a very dark skinned Haitian, and practices voodoo. Between the four of us we represent four religions, four races, gay/straight, married/unmarried, young/middle age, male/female, etc… My manager comes out from his office.)

    Manager: “Hello, what seems to be the problem?”

    Customer: “You are all a bunch of racists and bigots. You sent your truck just to persecute me!”

    Manager: “Sir, please calm down. We sent out truck because you have not been in to pay your bill in three weeks.”

    Customer: “Bulls***! You sent it because you can’t stand someone like me to have nice things!”

    (My truck guys are protective over me. They hear the commotion and come out of the back, standing behind me and the manager.)

    Customer: “Give me my s*** back! I’m gonna call the cops and tell them what a bunch of f****** racists you are!”

    Me: “We would be happy to return the items, sir. We just need you to catch your account up. With three weeks behind, and then the next week ahead, it makes four weeks total. That comes to—”

    Customer: “Oh, H***, NO! I’m not paying that s***! You bunch of bigots! You are gonna give me back my s*** for FREE or I’m gonna sue!”

    Me: “I’m sorry, sir. You need to catch up your account before we can re-deliver.”

    Customer: “Listen here, you little b****! I know my rights! I’m gonna sue! You’re all a bunch of racists and bigots!”

    Truck Guy: “Against what, exactly?”

    (The customer finally paused long enough to look at us… in all of our cultural rainbow glory… then turned and walked out quickly!)

    Colorful Employees

    , | IL, USA | Bigotry, Criminal/Illegal, Food & Drink

    (I am the guest relations person, so I return calls from disgruntled customers all the time. The restaurants are fast food and all have drive thrus.)

    Customer: “Did you know you have gang members hanging around your [Location] restaurant?!”

    Me: “No, sir, I did not. Have you spoken with the manager of the establishment about this?”

    Customer: “I did and he laughed me off!”

    Me: “I’m very sorry about that, sir. We ask that our manager’s take guest concerns seriously. Where are you witnessing gang members around the facility?”

    Customer: “He should be able to see them. They are hanging out in your driveway there, all wearing the same clothes ALL THE TIME!”

    Me: “How are they dressed?”

    Customer: “They are wearing black shirts, khakis, and hats! They are always there until you guys close!”

    Me: “Sir, you are describing our drive thru staff. They are wearing our uniform and stationed outside to take orders.”

    Customer: “But they’re all black and Mexican!”

    Me: “We are an equal opportunity employer and do not discriminate who we hire.”

    Customer: “This is bulls***! I want to talk to your manager!”

    Me: “Sir, you can talk to my manager if you’d like but you are describing our staff. They are not a gang and there would be nothing she would be able to do about it.”

    Customer: “I SAID I WANT TO TALK TO YOUR MANAGER!”

    (My manager explained the same thing I did and the customer screamed so loudly we hung up.)

    Page 1/912345...Last