This Caller Needs To Be Sectioned

| OH, USA | Bizarre

(I work in one of the three support sections with similar names in a large company that works to ensure records and documents are correctly maintained for employees.)

Me: “[Section A], [My Name] speaking. How may I help you?”

Caller: “Yes, I would like to get a new ID.”

Me: “Okay, ma’am, that would be [Section B]. I can transfer you to them now.”

Caller: “What? I thought [Section A] did that.”

Me: “No, that’ll be [Section B].”

Caller: “Wait, so what do you do?”

Me: “We maintain your current and past records.”

Caller: “I thought that would was [Section C]!”

Me: “No, they work with section transfers and inventory.”

Caller: “So… what does [Section B] do?”

Me: “…what you are asking for?”

Caller: “Oh! Okay, I’ll call them!”

(She hangs up on me and moments later calls back.)

Caller: “Hi, I’d like to get a new ID card.”

Me: “…ma’am, this is [Section A] again.”

Caller: “But I pressed three on the robot phone voice!”

Me: “That is for us.”

Caller: “Then what’s the extension for [Section B]?!”

Me: “That’ll be extension seven, ma’am.”

Caller: “Why did it tell me to press three then?!”

Me: “I’ve literally called our line yesterday, ma’am, and it tells you we are three and [Section B] is seven.”

Caller: “It was three last I checked! You should check again!”

Me: “Ma’am, is wasn’t three for a few months now and they updated the automated message.”

Caller: “Well, it didn’t inform me of any change!”

Me: “One of the first things it says is ‘please listen carefully, as some of the options have changed.'”

Customer: “THIS IS STUPID! JUST TRANSFER ME TO [Section A]!”

Me: “Ma’am, this is [Section A]. You want—”

Caller: “YOU KNOW WHAT I WANT! I DON’T CARE WHICH ONE IS WHICH OR WHAT THEY DO! JUST SEND ME WHEREVER SO I CAN GET A NEW ID!”

Me: “One moment, ma’am.”

(I transfer her to the correct section and sit back in my chair with a sigh as a coworker walks by.)

Me: “I… am NOT… paid enough for this…”

Coworker: “Welcome to [Section A].”

Vacationing At The School Of Repetition

, | UK | Extra Stupid, Hotels & Lodging, Money

(The phone rings.)

Me: “Good afternoon, School of Medicine, how may I help you.”

Caller: “Yes, my credit card number is 574…”

Me: “Excuse me, why are you giving me your credit card number?”

Caller: “I’m paying my room bill.”

Me: “Your… room bill? We don’t take any outside bookings for our teaching rooms…”

Caller: “No, no, no, the room I was staying in.”

Me: *realisation hitting* “Oh. I think you might have the wrong number, sir. This is the School of Medicine, part of [University].”

Caller: “… you’re not the Hilton Hotel?”

Me: “No, sir.”

Caller: “Oh.”

(He hangs up. I put the receiver down, and I’m just about to turn to my colleagues and comment on the strange call I just received when the phone goes again.)

Me: “Good afternoon, School of Medicine. How may I help you?”

Caller: “Good afternoon. My credit card number is 574…”

Me: “Um, sorry, sir, but you’ve dialled the wrong number again; you’re through to the School of Medicine.”

Caller: “What? Are you sure?”

Me: “Yes, sir, I’m sure.”

Caller: “Oh.”

(He hangs up again. I turn to my colleagues and manage to say ‘that was weird,’ when the phone goes again.)

Me: “Good afternoon, School of Medicine.”

Caller: “Oh, you’re joking!”

Me: “Hello again, sir. No, you’re definitely ringing the wrong number.”

Caller: “But it can’t be. I put the number in right the first time!”

Me: “The first time? The first time you got through to me?”

Caller: “Yes!”

Me: “And did you try putting the number in again the other times?”

Caller: “Well, of course not. That’s why I have redial on my phone!”

(At this point, I have to look up, remove the phone from my ear and breathe deeply through my nose in order not to break into convulsions of laughter.)

Me: “Sir, do you have something with the Hilton Hotel’s number on it?”

Caller: “Yes, I have their booking confirmation.”

Me: “Can you tell me the number?”

Caller: “Yes, it’s 9079 XXXX.”

Me: “I see the problem. Our number is 9097 XXXX. You need to hang up again and dial the correct number this time.”

Caller: “Oh.” *click*

(It took me nearly a minute after he hung up the final time before I managed to start telling my colleagues what had just happened.)

Related:

Laziness Is The Father Of Repetition

Marie, Marie, Quite Contrary

| Salt Lake City, UT, USA | Funny Names

(Though I’m not the receptionist, I answer the main phone line at work, so I’m responsible for routing calls and answering general questions.)

Me: “Thank you for calling [Company]. This is [My Name]. How may I help you?”

Caller: “Can I talk to Marie?”

Me: “I’m sorry; we don’t have anyone here by that name.”

Caller: “Marie Stevens?”

Me: “Sorry, there’s still no one here named Marie.”

Doesn’t Quite Get The Message

| Portland, OR, USA | Bad Behavior, Extra Stupid

(I am a receptionist and all incoming calls come to me, I also have two coworkers with the same first name.)

Me: “Good afternoon, [Company].”

Customer: “I missed a call from this number.”

Me: “I am sorry. All incoming calls come through my desk and I have no way of knowing who placed an outgoing call to your number. What company are you with? I might be able to look up who your project manager is.”

Customer: “[Other Company].”

Me: “I am sorry, but I don’t seem to have your company in my system. Did the person that called happen to leave a message?”

Customer: “Yes, but I don’t listen to my messages.”

Me: “I apologize, but the best way for us to know who called you is for you to listen to the message.”

Customer: “Fine!” *click*

(Phone rings, it is the same customer.)

Customer: “Can I talk to [Coworker First Name]?”

Me: “May I ask, is that [Coworker First and Last Name #1] or [Coworker First and Last Name #2]?

Customer: “How am I supposed to know? They only said [First Name].

Me: “All right, did they tell you the nature of this call in the message?”

Customer: “I don’t know; I didn’t listen that far. Just let me talk to [First Name].”

Me: “Okay, sir, please hold while I determine which one of them called you. May I please get your name and company again?”

Customer: “No!” *click*

(He didn’t call back after that so I don’t know if he ever figured it out.)

Should Hold His Tongue

| England, UK | Bizarre

Me: “[Booking Office]. How can I help?”

Customer: “Yes, I’d like— Wait a minute. You’re the voice on the ‘on hold’ message!”

Me: “Yes, that’s right.”

Customer: “OH MY GOD! YOUR VOICE IS ANNOYING!”

Me: “Er… sorry?”

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