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    This Caller Needs To Be Sectioned

    | OH, USA | Bizarre

    (I work in one of the three support sections with similar names in a large company that works to ensure records and documents are correctly maintained for employees.)

    Me: “[Section A], [My Name] speaking. How may I help you?”

    Caller: “Yes, I would like to get a new ID.”

    Me: “Okay, ma’am, that would be [Section B]. I can transfer you to them now.”

    Caller: “What? I thought [Section A] did that.”

    Me: “No, that’ll be [Section B].”

    Caller: “Wait, so what do you do?”

    Me: “We maintain your current and past records.”

    Caller: “I thought that would was [Section C]!”

    Me: “No, they work with section transfers and inventory.”

    Caller: “So… what does [Section B] do?”

    Me: “…what you are asking for?”

    Caller: “Oh! Okay, I’ll call them!”

    (She hangs up on me and moments later calls back.)

    Caller: “Hi, I’d like to get a new ID card.”

    Me: “…ma’am, this is [Section A] again.”

    Caller: “But I pressed three on the robot phone voice!”

    Me: “That is for us.”

    Caller: “Then what’s the extension for [Section B]?!”

    Me: “That’ll be extension seven, ma’am.”

    Caller: “Why did it tell me to press three then?!”

    Me: “I’ve literally called our line yesterday, ma’am, and it tells you we are three and [Section B] is seven.”

    Caller: “It was three last I checked! You should check again!”

    Me: “Ma’am, is wasn’t three for a few months now and they updated the automated message.”

    Caller: “Well, it didn’t inform me of any change!”

    Me: “One of the first things it says is ‘please listen carefully, as some of the options have changed.'”

    Customer: “THIS IS STUPID! JUST TRANSFER ME TO [Section A]!”

    Me: “Ma’am, this is [Section A]. You want—”


    Me: “One moment, ma’am.”

    (I transfer her to the correct section and sit back in my chair with a sigh as a coworker walks by.)

    Me: “I… am NOT… paid enough for this…”

    Coworker: “Welcome to [Section A].”

    Vacationing At The School Of Repetition

    , | UK | Extra Stupid, Hotels & Lodging, Money

    (The phone rings.)

    Me: “Good afternoon, School of Medicine, how may I help you.”

    Caller: “Yes, my credit card number is 574…”

    Me: “Excuse me, why are you giving me your credit card number?”

    Caller: “I’m paying my room bill.”

    Me: “Your… room bill? We don’t take any outside bookings for our teaching rooms…”

    Caller: “No, no, no, the room I was staying in.”

    Me: *realisation hitting* “Oh. I think you might have the wrong number, sir. This is the School of Medicine, part of [University].”

    Caller: “… you’re not the Hilton Hotel?”

    Me: “No, sir.”

    Caller: “Oh.”

    (He hangs up. I put the receiver down, and I’m just about to turn to my colleagues and comment on the strange call I just received when the phone goes again.)

    Me: “Good afternoon, School of Medicine. How may I help you?”

    Caller: “Good afternoon. My credit card number is 574…”

    Me: “Um, sorry, sir, but you’ve dialled the wrong number again; you’re through to the School of Medicine.”

    Caller: “What? Are you sure?”

    Me: “Yes, sir, I’m sure.”

    Caller: “Oh.”

    (He hangs up again. I turn to my colleagues and manage to say ‘that was weird,’ when the phone goes again.)

    Me: “Good afternoon, School of Medicine.”

    Caller: “Oh, you’re joking!”

    Me: “Hello again, sir. No, you’re definitely ringing the wrong number.”

    Caller: “But it can’t be. I put the number in right the first time!”

    Me: “The first time? The first time you got through to me?”

    Caller: “Yes!”

    Me: “And did you try putting the number in again the other times?”

    Caller: “Well, of course not. That’s why I have redial on my phone!”

    (At this point, I have to look up, remove the phone from my ear and breathe deeply through my nose in order not to break into convulsions of laughter.)

    Me: “Sir, do you have something with the Hilton Hotel’s number on it?”

    Caller: “Yes, I have their booking confirmation.”

    Me: “Can you tell me the number?”

    Caller: “Yes, it’s 9079 XXXX.”

    Me: “I see the problem. Our number is 9097 XXXX. You need to hang up again and dial the correct number this time.”

    Caller: “Oh.” *click*

    (It took me nearly a minute after he hung up the final time before I managed to start telling my colleagues what had just happened.)


    Laziness Is The Father Of Repetition

    Marie, Marie, Quite Contrary

    | Salt Lake City, UT, USA | Funny Names

    (Though I’m not the receptionist, I answer the main phone line at work, so I’m responsible for routing calls and answering general questions.)

    Me: “Thank you for calling [Company]. This is [My Name]. How may I help you?”

    Caller: “Can I talk to Marie?”

    Me: “I’m sorry; we don’t have anyone here by that name.”

    Caller: “Marie Stevens?”

    Me: “Sorry, there’s still no one here named Marie.”

    Doesn’t Quite Get The Message

    | Portland, OR, USA | Bad Behavior, Extra Stupid

    (I am a receptionist and all incoming calls come to me, I also have two coworkers with the same first name.)

    Me: “Good afternoon, [Company].”

    Customer: “I missed a call from this number.”

    Me: “I am sorry. All incoming calls come through my desk and I have no way of knowing who placed an outgoing call to your number. What company are you with? I might be able to look up who your project manager is.”

    Customer: “[Other Company].”

    Me: “I am sorry, but I don’t seem to have your company in my system. Did the person that called happen to leave a message?”

    Customer: “Yes, but I don’t listen to my messages.”

    Me: “I apologize, but the best way for us to know who called you is for you to listen to the message.”

    Customer: “Fine!” *click*

    (Phone rings, it is the same customer.)

    Customer: “Can I talk to [Coworker First Name]?”

    Me: “May I ask, is that [Coworker First and Last Name #1] or [Coworker First and Last Name #2]?

    Customer: “How am I supposed to know? They only said [First Name].

    Me: “All right, did they tell you the nature of this call in the message?”

    Customer: “I don’t know; I didn’t listen that far. Just let me talk to [First Name].”

    Me: “Okay, sir, please hold while I determine which one of them called you. May I please get your name and company again?”

    Customer: “No!” *click*

    (He didn’t call back after that so I don’t know if he ever figured it out.)

    Should Hold His Tongue

    | England, UK | Bizarre

    Me: “[Booking Office]. How can I help?”

    Customer: “Yes, I’d like— Wait a minute. You’re the voice on the ‘on hold’ message!”

    Me: “Yes, that’s right.”


    Me: “Er… sorry?”

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