November Theme Of The Month: Black Friday!

Songs In The Key Of Clueless

| North Carolina, USA | Uncategorized

(A customer walks in with a saxophone case, looking very worried.)

Me: “Hello, how can I help you today?”

Customer: “I want to sell my violin, it’s in great condition.”

Me: “Certainly, can I see the violin please?”

Customer: “Yes, sure.”

(At this point he opens up the sax case and places a nearly new tenor sax on the table.)

Me: “Uh, sir, that’s a saxophone, not a violin.”

Customer: “No, no, it’s a violin. I’m sure of it.”

Me: “Sir, I’m telling you it’s a saxophone. A violin has strings, and a bow.”

Customer: “No. It’s a violin. You think I don’t know a violin when I see one?”

(The argument continues in this fashion for another 5-10 minutes.)

Me: “Sir, are you still trading this instrument in? We can sort this out later.”

Customer: “…what’s an instrument?”

Me: *face palm*

For The Love Of God, Gestate

| Vancouver, BC, Canada | Uncategorized

Customer: “Hi, can I speak with [another employee] in the keyboards department?”

Me: “I’m afraid [another employee] is on maternity leave. Is there anything I can help you with?”

Customer: “Well, when is she coming back?”

Me: “Realistically, in about a year.”

Customer: “Well, can she hurry it up!?”

Me: “She’s… having a baby.”

Customer: “I know that! Just tell her to hurry it up!” *hangs up*

May We Suggest Hoobastink and Led Hindenburg

| Salt Lake City, UT, USA | Top

(I overhear this odd exchange while shopping at a local used music store. It takes place between the clerk and a woman with a heavy accent.)

Customer: “I am looking for a CD of band called Wet Noodle.”

Clerk:Wet Noodle? I don’t think we have anything like…”

Customer: “You have it! My grandson says he wants the CD of band Wet Noodle!”

(The clerk searches for the band on his computer, to no avail.)

Clerk: “I’m sorry, we don’t have any record of any products by a bad called Wet Noodle.”

(I put one and one together and interject.)

Me: “Ma’am, do you mean Limp Bizkit?”

Customer: “Yes! Some band like Wet Noodle or Limp Bizkit or some food!”

(The clerk gets the CDs for the lady, finishes her transaction and then turns to me.)

Clerk, to me: “I’m giving you every discount I know of.”

Invisible Incentive

| Burton on Trent, UK | Uncategorized

(There were a series of compilation albums on release called “Air Guitar Hero”, which had a very tongue-in-cheek advertisement. I had just sold a copy to a customer who returned to the store 10 minutes later.)

Me: “Are you OK there?”

Customer: “Well, I didn’t get my free air guitar with this CD.”

Me: “Excuse me? I’m not sure what you mean.”

Customer: “This CD, it’s supposed to come with a free air guitar.”

Me: “…”

Customer: “On the advertisement, the one on TV. It says comes with free air guitar!”

Me: “Um, that’s a joke they made on the advertisement.”

Customer: “But it says on the advertisement I get a free air guitar with this album!”

More Than A Few Crossed Wires

| Calgary, Alberta, Canada | Uncategorized

Me: “Hi, how may I help you?”

Caller: “Yes, can you tell me how to get to your store? I’m coming from the north end of the city.”

Me: “OK, you’ll need to head south on 14th Street–”

Caller: “Whoa whoa whoa… slow down, you’re going too fast.”

Me: “OK, sorry. You will need to head south–”

Caller: “Don’t talk to me in that tone of voice! Now explain it to me like a civil human being, and tell me how to get to your f***ing store!”

Me: “…I’m sorry, ma’am. If you just head south–”

Caller: “What in God’s name is wrong with you? All I want to do is get to your f***ing store so I can get some f***ing music! Is that so d*** much to ask for? Look young lady, I just got out of brain surgery and I can’t deal with your bulls*** right now. You need to talk slowly to me. OK, forget it, you’re wasting my time. I’ll find my way there myself! *hangs up*