Hannibal On Line Two

, | Falls Church, VA, USA | Uncategorized

Me: “Thank you for calling [name of dealership].”

Caller: “Can I speak to the body parts department?”

Me: “Do you mean the body shop?”

Righteous Indie-nation

| Los Angeles, CA, USA | Uncategorized

(A customer walks over to the first aisle and taps each and every last CD case with his finger while saying either ‘mainstream’ or ‘sell-out’. He proceeds to do this with every single CD in the store, which takes him about 25 minutes. He then walks up to the counter.)

Customer: “What a bunch of mainstreamers you guys are! Don’t you have anything more obscure?”

Me: “We do have a pretty large indie section, which you seemed to have skimmed over.”

Customer: “You call those indie? I’ve heard of every single one of them. They’re all sell-outs.”

Me: “So, what is it that you’re looking for?”

Customer: “How the h*** should I know? If I’ve already heard of it, I wouldn’t buy it.”

Bad Jokes Are Music To Their Ears

| Mountain View, CA, USA | Musical Mayhem, Uncategorized

Customer: “Hey, do you guys carry any mandolins?”

Me: “No, I’m sorry.”

Customer: “How about…” *dramatic pause*Wo-mandolins?”

Me: “No.”

(The customer leaves with a grin on his face.)

Next customer: “Really?”

Watashi Whaaa

| United Kingdom | Language & Words, Musical Mayhem, Top

(I really like Japanese animation and am learning Japanese as a second language so I listen to a lot of Japanese songs.)

Customer: “Excuse me, what kind of music would you recommend? I want to know what CD I should buy.”

Me: “Oh, I don’t think I listen to the kind of music you’d be interested in.”

Customer: “That’s not very helpful. Just tell me what kind of music you like.”

Me: “Well, I listen to a lot of Japanese songs.”

Customer: “I love that song!”

Me: “It’s not just one song. There are a lot of songs in Japanese.”

Customer: “Really? How many.”

Me: “Oh, far too many to count. There are thousands!”

Customer: “Well that’s a bit silly, isn’t it, what’s the point in making songs in a language that no one can understand?”

Me: “A lot of people understand Japanese.”

Customer: “Like who?”

Me: “The people who live in Japan?”

Customer: “You mean Japan’s a real place?! Well, you learn something new every day!”

Split Over Musical (Price) Differences

| Calgary, AB, Canada | Musical Mayhem, Uncategorized

Customer: “Do you have [popular album]?”

Me: “Yep. It’s right over here.”

Customer: “That’s expensive.”

Me: “That’s pretty average”

Customer: “I bet [competitor] is cheaper.”

Me: “I doubt it. We are usually a fair bit cheaper than them.”

Customer: “I don’t know. I bet they are cheaper.”

Me: “I don’t think they will be, but they are right upstairs if you want to take a peek and come back.  You will see that we are cheaper.”

(The customer leaves and comes back 15 minutes later with our competitors bag.)

Me: “Oh, were they cheaper?”

Customer: “No, they were a lot more expensive. You should really stop recommending that place.”

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