No ID, No Idea, Part 14

| Baltimore, MD, USA | Liars & Scammers, Theme Of The Month, Underaged

(I am a volunteer bartender at a big music festival. We are required to check everyone’s ID upon ordering a drink. It’s now late into the festival, and customers are already pretty drunk.)

Customer: “Can I get a beer?”

Me: “Yes, can I see some ID?”

Customer: *as he’s pulling out his ID* “Okay, but it’s fake!”

Me: “Excuse me?”

Customer: “Yeah, it’s fake. Will you still serve me?”

Me: “Absolutely not!”

Customer: *shoves ID in my face* “Does it look fake!?”

Me: “You just told me your ID is fake. I cannot serve you.”

Customer: “Fine! I’ll go over here!” *moves a foot over to the next bartender’s line*

Me: “I will tell them not to serve you.”

Customer: “Seriously!? WHAT THE H***! I JUST WANT SOME ALCOHOL!”

(At this point the bar manager has witnessed what has transpired.)

Manager: *to customer* “GET THE F*** OUT OF HERE AND DON’T COME BACK, OR I’LL CALL THE COPS!”

Related:
No ID, No Idea, Part 13
No ID, No Idea, Part 12
No ID, No Idea, Part 11
No ID, No Idea, Part 10
No ID, No Idea, Part 9

A Cold Replay Post Coldplay

| TX, USA | Musical Mayhem, Rude & Risque

(We’re at a party during a large music festival. Drinks are free, and there are a number of other activities at the event. We’re standing in line for the video photo booth. The employee operating the booth overhears our conversation.)

Me: “I pity whoever has to review all of these drunken videos.”

Employee: “That would be me.”

Me: “Oh… they make you look through every one of them?”

Employee: “Yeah, I’ve seen so many bare breasts.”

Me: “They flash the camera? Don’t they have to sign away their rights to the footage?”

Employee: “Yeah, but here’s the thing you have to know about drunk girls at a music festival: They aren’t very smart.”

The Perils Of Information Underload

| Trondheim, Norway | Uncategorized

(I’m a band host for a Norwegian band and am working at a music festival in Trondheim, Norway. An irate lady comes up to me.)

Lady: “What the h*** is going on?”

Me: “This is the Trondheim Rock Festival.”

Lady: “But it’s in the middle of everything!”

Me: “Yes, ma’am, it is.”

Lady: “I have to go all around it to get to the other side of the city center!”

Me: “Yes, yes, you do.”

Lady: “But this is outrageous! How can you do this without telling people on beforehand?”

Me: “Well, there’s been a lot of publicity on TV, posters on the walls, and in the newspapers. It also takes place the same time each year.”

Lady: “Hmph! I think you should get something done about this. You can’t expect people to remember, look at posters, read newspapers or watch TV all the time!”