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    No ID, No Idea, Part 14

    | Baltimore, MD, USA | Liars & Scammers, Theme Of The Month, Underaged

    (I am a volunteer bartender at a big music festival. We are required to check everyone’s ID upon ordering a drink. It’s now late into the festival, and customers are already pretty drunk.)

    Customer: “Can I get a beer?”

    Me: “Yes, can I see some ID?”

    Customer: *as he’s pulling out his ID* “Okay, but it’s fake!”

    Me: “Excuse me?”

    Customer: “Yeah, it’s fake. Will you still serve me?”

    Me: “Absolutely not!”

    Customer: *shoves ID in my face* “Does it look fake!?”

    Me: “You just told me your ID is fake. I cannot serve you.”

    Customer: “Fine! I’ll go over here!” *moves a foot over to the next bartender’s line*

    Me: “I will tell them not to serve you.”

    Customer: “Seriously!? WHAT THE H***! I JUST WANT SOME ALCOHOL!”

    (At this point the bar manager has witnessed what has transpired.)

    Manager: *to customer* “GET THE F*** OUT OF HERE AND DON’T COME BACK, OR I’LL CALL THE COPS!”

    Related:
    No ID, No Idea, Part 13
    No ID, No Idea, Part 12
    No ID, No Idea, Part 11
    No ID, No Idea, Part 10
    No ID, No Idea, Part 9

    A Cold Replay Post Coldplay

    | TX, USA | Musical Mayhem, Rude & Risque

    (We’re at a party during a large music festival. Drinks are free, and there are a number of other activities at the event. We’re standing in line for the video photo booth. The employee operating the booth overhears our conversation.)

    Me: “I pity whoever has to review all of these drunken videos.”

    Employee: “That would be me.”

    Me: “Oh… they make you look through every one of them?”

    Employee: “Yeah, I’ve seen so many bare breasts.”

    Me: “They flash the camera? Don’t they have to sign away their rights to the footage?”

    Employee: “Yeah, but here’s the thing you have to know about drunk girls at a music festival: They aren’t very smart.”

    The Perils Of Information Underload

    | Trondheim, Norway |

    (I’m a band host for a Norwegian band and am working at a music festival in Trondheim, Norway. An irate lady comes up to me.)

    Lady: “What the h*** is going on?”

    Me: “This is the Trondheim Rock Festival.”

    Lady: “But it’s in the middle of everything!”

    Me: “Yes, ma’am, it is.”

    Lady: “I have to go all around it to get to the other side of the city center!”

    Me: “Yes, yes, you do.”

    Lady: “But this is outrageous! How can you do this without telling people on beforehand?”

    Me: “Well, there’s been a lot of publicity on TV, posters on the walls, and in the newspapers. It also takes place the same time each year.”

    Lady: “Hmph! I think you should get something done about this. You can’t expect people to remember, look at posters, read newspapers or watch TV all the time!”