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    Spaced Out

    | New Mexico, USA | History, Math & Science

    (I work in the astronomy section of my local natural history museum, which features several large NASA photos. A visitor approaches me and points at a picture of an astronaut doing a spacewalk.)

    Visitor: “What is that astronaut doing?”

    Me: “Oh, he’s doing a spacewalk.”

    Visitor: “You can walk…in space?!”

    Me: “Well, no. They just sort of float there while tethered to the spacecraft. They only do it when they need to exit the shuttle to do repairs.”

    Visitor: “Oh…” *points at a photo of Apollo 11 launching* “What’s that?”

    Me: “That’s Apollo 11 launching to put the first humans on the moon.”

    Visitor: “Oh…why didn’t they just build a big ladder?”

    When Flippers Attack

    | UK | Family & Kids, Pets & Animals

    Child: “Mum, what’s that?” *points to dolphin skeleton*

    Mother: “That’s a dolphin, dear. It eats people.”

    No Faith In Science

    | Canberra, Australia |

    Child: “What’s the Cretaceous period?”

    Mother: “Something scientists made up.”

    Me: *chiming in* “It’s the third period that the dinosaurs lived in. It was from about 140-65 million years ago.”

    Child: “Really?”

    Mother: “The Cretaceous period is just something that scientists made up to dispute Christ.” *turns to face me* “But we won’t get into that.”

    Very Old Lang Syne

    | United Kingdom | Family & Kids

    (I work in a museum in Scotland, where I do activity sessions for young children. I am showing them some artifacts that were originally brought to Scotland by the Romans.)

    Me: “These were brought to Scotland around 2000 years ago by an invading army. Who do you think this could’ve been?”

    Child: “Hitler!”

    Me: “Well, it was a bit early for Hitler.”

    Child: “Robert Burns!”

    Kids Love To Wise-Crack

    | United Kingdom | Family & Kids

    (I give activity sessions for young children at a small museum in Scotland. During one of the sessions, the children have to guess what a mystery object is – in this case, some tobacco leaves.)

    Me: “So you’ve guessed it’s some leaves. Does anybody know what leaves these are? A clue is the smell.”

    (The children look nonplussed, understandably.)

    Me: “Well, it’s a good thing you don’t know what this is. You’re all a bit young to be allowed this. Any guesses?”

    Child: “CRACK!”


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