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    Open Doors May Require Open Minds

    | Richmond, VA, USA | Extra Stupid

    Visitor: “Excuse me, miss, is that a door?” *points to the door as two people walk through it*

    Me: “Yes?”

    Visitor: “Oh…well, can I walk through it?”

    Me: “Yup, you sure can.”

    Visitor: “Are you sure? I don’t remember there being a door here before.”

    Me: “Ma’am, I can assure you that you are staring at a real door and it is perfectly safe to use.”

    Visitor: “I’m confused. I’m just going to use the doors downstairs.”

    When Photos Are Exposed

    | Seattle, WA, USA | Extra Stupid, Liars & Scammers

    Me: “Excuse me, ma’am. We do not allow the use of photography in the museum.”
     
    Guest: “I wasn’t taking a photograph!” *shows me her phone*
     
    Me: “Sorry, the way you were holding your phone looked as if you were taking a photograph. Although not only did you take a photograph, but you saved it as your cell phone wallpaper and are currently showing it to me.”

    Spaced Out

    | New Mexico, USA | History, Math & Science

    (I work in the astronomy section of my local natural history museum, which features several large NASA photos. A visitor approaches me and points at a picture of an astronaut doing a spacewalk.)

    Visitor: “What is that astronaut doing?”

    Me: “Oh, he’s doing a spacewalk.”

    Visitor: “You can walk…in space?!”

    Me: “Well, no. They just sort of float there while tethered to the spacecraft. They only do it when they need to exit the shuttle to do repairs.”

    Visitor: “Oh…” *points at a photo of Apollo 11 launching* “What’s that?”

    Me: “That’s Apollo 11 launching to put the first humans on the moon.”

    Visitor: “Oh…why didn’t they just build a big ladder?”

    When Flippers Attack

    | UK | Family & Kids, Pets & Animals

    Child: “Mum, what’s that?” *points to dolphin skeleton*

    Mother: “That’s a dolphin, dear. It eats people.”

    No Faith In Science

    | Canberra, Australia |

    Child: “What’s the Cretaceous period?”

    Mother: “Something scientists made up.”

    Me: *chiming in* “It’s the third period that the dinosaurs lived in. It was from about 140-65 million years ago.”

    Child: “Really?”

    Mother: “The Cretaceous period is just something that scientists made up to dispute Christ.” *turns to face me* “But we won’t get into that.”


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