(I’m working the box office on a particularly slow night. Part of my duty is to answer the phone and deal with customer inquiries. We are a theater that shows rather alternative movies.)
Me: “Thank you for calling [theater].”
Customer: “Oh, what a lovely young voice. Tell me, what is [movie] about?”
Me: “It’s about a victim of pedophilia and how she exacts revenge on her abuser. The next showing is at–”
Customer: “That’s nice. You have such a beautiful voice.”
Me: “Um, thanks.”
Customer: “Tell me. Do you like cats? I love cats. I have several. I just moved here and I can’t find any good vets.”
Me: “Yes. I like them.”
Customer: “We sound perfect for each other. I’ll see you tonight when I buy tickets from you…in person. You’ll recognize my voice. I’ll also be covered in cat fur. Good night!” *hangs up*
(
1,364 Thumbs Up!)
(I work ticketing at a movie theater. A middle-aged woman and her daughter approach me.)
Customer: “We’d like two tickets to…what are we going to see?”
Daughter: “It’s Breaking Dawn.”
Customer: “I’ve been calling it Sexy Vampires all day.”
Related:
Team Cougar
(
863 Thumbs Up!)
(I’m a new employee at a convenience store. I’m French and my accent is quite noticeable. A regular walks in.)
Me: “Hi, may I help you?”
Customer: “Oh, a newbie. I like your accent. French?”
Me: “Yes, sir.”
Customer: “I had a French girl once. I should have never let her go.”
Me: “I’m sorry, sir.”
Customer: “I know one phrase. Je t’aime. Say it.”
Me: “Okay…Je t’aime.
Customer: “What does that mean?”
Me: “It means, ‘I love you.’”
Regular: *triumphantly* “I made you say that you love me!”
Me: *speechless*
(
1,175 Thumbs Up!)
Customer: “What movies do you NOT have?”
Me: “Sorry, what did you say?”
Customer: “I said, what movies don’t you have?”
Me: “Well we have a sign up that advertises the moves that we DO have. If it isn’t on that sign, then we don’t have the movie.”
Customer: “You really ought to put up a sign that lists the movies that you don’t have.”
(
871 Thumbs Up!)
(Two obviously gay men are ordering concessions. I successfully upsell their purchase to a large popcorn.)
Customer: *jokingly* “Wow you’re quite a salesman!”
Coworker: “Yeah, he can sell stink to a hobo!”
Customer: *laughs*
Customer’s partner: *completely mortified*
Customer, to his partner: “No, no, he said HOBO!”
(
1,742 Thumbs Up!)
Loading ...