(I am an usher ripping tickets at the podium and directing customers to their cinema.)
Me: “You’re in cinema number four. It’s up the stairs to your left.”
Patron: “Which way?”
Me: “Left, and then go up the stairs.”
Patron: “Which way’s left?”
Me: “That way.” *points*
Patron: “Great, thanks!”
(I work in the box office of a movie theater. A teenage girl comes up and asks me about Angelina Jolie’s new movie.)
Me: “Hello, welcome to [theater]. What can I get for you?”
Customer: “What’s the movie Salt about?”
Me: “Well, it’s got Angelina Jolie in it and it’s about espionage.
(A very confused looked crosses the girl’s face while she processes what I’ve said for several seconds. She’s clearly hung up on the word “espionage”.)
Customer: “Oh…so it’s in Spanish?”
(At our movie theater, “Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close” is playing. A 70- or 80-year-old woman approaches.)
Me: “Hi, how may I help you?”
Customer: “I’d like a ticket to that new movie.”
Me: “No problem. What movie are you looking for, ma’am?”
Customer: “That new one. You know, Extremely Loud and Incredibly Nasty.”
(I am in the concessions stand selling nachos.)
Me: “Do you want jalapeños?”
Customer: “Yes! Why is jalapeños pronounced like it has an ‘h’ in the beginning?”
Me: “I believe it’s a Spanish word.”
Customer: *indignant* “Well, I don’t really care.”
Prank You Very Much! Happy April Fools’ Day, readers! This week, we share five stories that show the foolish hazards of pulling a fast one!
- Impractical Jokes:
Guys, take note: a fake stabbing to freak out your wife might result in a real stabbing—by your wife!
- Bohemian Nobody:
Customer, oo-oo-oo-ooh // Didn’t mean to make you cry // If you’re not back again this time tomorrow // Go away, go away // Your pranks don’t really matter…
- Prankin’ Like It’s 1929:
This elderly caller’s prank is probably older than your grandparents, but he proves laughter IS the best medicine—especially when it’s at your expense!
- Your Prank Got Spanked, Part 2:
A caller learns the hard way that if you’re gonna prank an employee, at least be original!
- Morbid Curiosity Killed The Cat:
Note to prank callers: your cat is NOT a get-out-of-jail-free card!
PS: check out our new Extras section, with pictures, videos, and news galore!