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    Family Values

    | Laredo, TX, USA |

    (A customer hands me the tickets to the horror/torture movie, Hostel 2.)

    Employee: “I’m sorry sir, but this movie is R-rated and I’m afraid I can’t let your child in.”

    Customer, agitated: “Can’t you just let us in?”

    Employee: “I’m sorry sir, but I’d lose my job if I did that. I CAN help you find another movie.”

    (The customer then throws his $6 tub of popcorn in my face and all over the podium and walks off with his family. There’s good family values…)

    Of All The Moments For Freud To Slip

    | Australia | Food & Drink, Language & Words, Rude & Risque, Top

    (I was working the candy bar when a I was approached by a man seeing Bridge to Terabithia with two young kids. He points to the popcorn machine:)

    Customer: “I’ll have two boxes of cockporn, please.”

    (There was a two second pause as the customer’s eyes went wide with horror…and then I started to laugh. He got the popcorn and ran upstairs, with me standing behind the counter with tears running down my face.)

    Jeff Foxworthy Would Be Proud

    | Madisonville, KY, USA |

    Customer: “Two tickets for Madagascar.”

    (After the previews, he returns)

    Customer: “I want my money back!”

    Me: “What seems to be the problem, sir?”

    Customer: “You have the wrong movie playing in there, its a cartoon. Where’s the cars?”

    Me: “I’m sorry sir, Cars?”

    Customer: “Nascar! I wanted to see Mad about Nascar!!”

    Me: “…let me get the manager.”

    Depth Perception Strikes Again

    | UK | Top

    Customer: “So you’re sure you don’t have any small hot dogs?”

    Employee: “Yes.”

    Customer: (Points to hot dog grill further down the counter) “Well what about those ones over there then??”

    Employee: “No, they’re just further away.”

    Pissing Against The Wind Is An Art Form

    | Columbus, OH |

    Male Customer: “Two for American Gangster…we have 2 free passes.”

    Me: “I’m sorry sir, but that movie just opened today and it isn’t currently accepting passes. To use these I’ll have to charge you $1.50 upgrade per ticket.”

    Male Customer: “That’s ridiculous. It doesn’t say that anywhere on it.”

    Me: *pointing to where it says that* “I’m sorry sir but it does. I’ll have to charge you the $3.”

    Female Customer: “But we came early so we knew you wouldn’t sell out! Why can’t you just give it to us?”

    Me: “I’m sorry but its a corporate policy. I cannot give anyone a free pass to this movie, not even employees. It’s not even an option on the computer.”

    Male Customer: *mumbles under his breath while he reaches for his wallet*

    Female Customer: “We shouldn’t have to pay $3 to see the movie! If there’s more than 25 people in there I’m going to report you to a manager!”


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