November Theme Of The Month: Black Friday!

Now Playing: Busted

| Raleigh, NC, USA | Top

Me: “Welcome to [movie theater].¬†Can I help you?”

Customer: “Two for [rated R movie].”

Me: “Can I see your ID, please?”

Customer: ¬†”I don’t have any.”

Me: “Sorry, I can’t sell you any tickets.”

Customer: “But I’m 17! I’m allowed to see it!”

Me: “Not without an ID you aren’t! And even if you had an ID, I could only sell you one. You have to be 21 to buy more than one.”

Customer: “I can’t believe this! Look, I drove here today!”

(At this point he flashes daddy’s Mercedes keys in my face to “prove” he drove here.)

Me: “So, let me get this straight. You drove your Mercedes here without any form of ID, including a driver’s license?”

Customer: “YEAH! WHAT OF IT?!”

Me: ¬†”I’m sure the Raleigh Police Officer standing right behind you would love to have a word with you.”

Coming To A Theater Near You: Gangsta Ushers

No Problem, We’ll Just Bulldoze A Nearby Home

| Alaska, USA | Uncategorized

Me: “What size popcorn would you like, sir?”

Older Man: “Do your managers know that there are no parking spots out there?”

Me: “Um… I’m pretty sure they are aware of that, sir. Three very popular movies came out today, seeing how it is Friday.”

Older Man: “Well, maybe they need to be informed of the situation so they can fix it!”

Me: “I’ll let them know right now! In the meantime, this gentleman can help you with your popcorn…”

(I walk off, barely able to contain my laughter.)

A Sticky Situation

| Eugene, OR, USA | Uncategorized

(Ever wonder why you can’t buy gum at a movie theater? Patrons plaster their used gum *everywhere.* An assistant manager I worked with knew exactly how to get the point across.)

Movie theater patron: “Do you carry any gum?”

Assistant Manager: *low growl* “Gum… is our enemy.”

Always Right, Even If It Requires Changing The Space-Time Continuum

| Oklahoma City, OK, USA | Uncategorized

(A customer walks up to the box office, obviously very angry. She throws a newspaper down onto the counter.)

Customer: “Sir, these show times are wrong.”

Me: “Ma’am, those are yesterday’s show times.”

Customer: *smugly* “Well, why are they in today’s paper?”

Me: “That’s yesterday’s paper.”

Customer: “Oh… well, they’re still wrong!”

Me: “…”

Stuck On Fast Forward

| Texas, USA | Uncategorized

Me: “Hi there, how are you today?”

Customer: “A medium popcorn.”