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    Now Playing: Busted

    | Raleigh, NC, USA | Top

    Me: “Welcome to [movie theater].¬†Can I help you?”

    Customer: “Two for [rated R movie].”

    Me: “Can I see your ID, please?”

    Customer: ¬†”I don’t have any.”

    Me: “Sorry, I can’t sell you any tickets.”

    Customer: “But I’m 17! I’m allowed to see it!”

    Me: “Not without an ID you aren’t! And even if you had an ID, I could only sell you one. You have to be 21 to buy more than one.”

    Customer: “I can’t believe this! Look, I drove here today!”

    (At this point he flashes daddy’s Mercedes keys in my face to “prove” he drove here.)

    Me: “So, let me get this straight. You drove your Mercedes here without any form of ID, including a driver’s license?”

    Customer: “YEAH! WHAT OF IT?!”

    Me: ¬†”I’m sure the Raleigh Police Officer standing right behind you would love to have a word with you.”

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    Coming To A Theater Near You: Gangsta Ushers

    No Problem, We’ll Just Bulldoze A Nearby Home

    | Alaska, USA |

    Me: “What size popcorn would you like, sir?”

    Older Man: “Do your managers know that there are no parking spots out there?”

    Me: “Um… I’m pretty sure they are aware of that, sir. Three very popular movies came out today, seeing how it is Friday.”

    Older Man: “Well, maybe they need to be informed of the situation so they can fix it!”

    Me: “I’ll let them know right now! In the meantime, this gentleman can help you with your popcorn…”

    (I walk off, barely able to contain my laughter.)

    A Sticky Situation

    | Eugene, OR, USA |

    (Ever wonder why you can’t buy gum at a movie theater? Patrons plaster their used gum *everywhere.* An assistant manager I worked with knew exactly how to get the point across.)

    Movie theater patron: “Do you carry any gum?”

    Assistant Manager: *low growl* “Gum… is our enemy.”

    Always Right, Even If It Requires Changing The Space-Time Continuum

    | Oklahoma City, OK, USA |

    (A customer walks up to the box office, obviously very angry. She throws a newspaper down onto the counter.)

    Customer: “Sir, these show times are wrong.”

    Me: “Ma’am, those are yesterday’s show times.”

    Customer: *smugly* “Well, why are they in today’s paper?”

    Me: “That’s yesterday’s paper.”

    Customer: “Oh… well, they’re still wrong!”

    Me: “…”

    Stuck On Fast Forward

    | Texas, USA |

    Me: “Hi there, how are you today?”

    Customer: “A medium popcorn.”


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