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  • Had It Up To Their Neck With Bad Customers
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    When Customers Attack, Part 2

    | Mississauga, Ontario, Canada |

    Customer: “Yeah, can I get extra butter?”

    Coworker:: “Actually the butter is self-serve on the sides of concession. You can help yourself, ma’am.”

    Customer: *suddenly angry* “WELL IF YOU’RE NOT GOING TO HELP ME I WON’T COME BACK NEXT TIME!”

    Coworker:: “Please don’t hurt me!”

    Related:
    When Customers Attack

    We Have No Power, Starring Samuel L. Jackson

    | Cincinnati, OH, USA |

    (During a major power outage that left all of Cincinnati in the dark for days, a woman calls the theater asking about movie times.)

    Customer: “Hi, what movies do you have playing today?”

    Me: “None, we don’t have electricity.”

    Customer: “And what time does that start?”

    Me: “Ma’am, we aren’t open.”

    Customer: “That’s too early, what else you got?”

    Me: “NO MOVIES ARE SHOWING TODAY!”

    Customer: “I heard that was no good.”

    Me: “We can’t show movies because we have no power!”

    Customer: “Is that the movie with Samuel L Jackson?”

    Me: *gives up* “Yes, ma’am. It starts at 6pm but you might want to be here early because it gets crowded this time of day.”

    Personally, I Go There To Do My Taxes

    | Coventry, UK |

    (A group of annoying teenagers had been removed from one of the screens in the cinema for being loud and causing a huge disturbance.)

    Teenager: “I want a refund. I want to talk to a manager. This is unfair!”

    Usher: “Well, you can talk to a manager, but they’ll tell you the same thing I’ve told you.” *calls manager over*

    Manager: “What’s the problem here?”

    Teenager: “We’ve been kicked out of the cinema because apparently someone said we were being noisy and disturbing the film.”

    Manager: “Yes?”

    Teenager: “Yeah, well, we think it’s unfair and we want a refund.”

    Manager: “And why should we give you a refund?”

    Teenager: “Well you know how it is… you come to the cinema to have a laugh and a chat with your mates–”

    Manager: “No you don’t. You come to the cinema to watch a film. Get out.”

    Introducing The DK Spring Collection

    | Burlington, NC, USA |

    Customer: “I’d like two tickets for the Green Knight, please.”

    Me: “You mean the Dark Knight, ma’am?”

    Customer: “No, I mean the Green Knight! The Batman movie!”

    Me: “Ma’am, the only Batman movie currently showing is the Dark Knight.”

    Customer: “I’ve never heard of that! I don’t want to see it! Give me two for the Green Knight!”

    Me: “Ma’am, there is no such movie.”

    Customer: “Fine. We’ll go see this Dark Knight thing, then. But I just want you to know I am not pleased!”

    Speak For Yourselves, Part 2

    | Toronto, ON, Canada |

    Elderly Lady #1: “Now, what are the prices like for this show?”

    Coworker: “Well, they’re-”

    Elderly Lady #2: “Don’t tell us it’s expensive! I don’t want to spend too much money!”

    Coworker: *holds out price sheet* “Here are the–”

    Elderly Lady #1: “Oh, would you look at that. Look at those prices. Now where are these seats?”

    Coworker: “Those are right-”

    Elderly Lady #2: “No, we don’t want to sit there. It’s too far in the back.”

    Coworker: “Actually, ma’am, they’re–”

    Elderly Lady #1: “Those seats are okay… they’re in the middle.”

    Elderly Lady #2: “Do they have anything closer on an aisle?”

    Coworker: “Unfortunately– ”

    Elderly Lady #1: “What do you need to be closer for? Those seats are fine. George and Harry will like them.”

    Elderly Lady #2: “Yes, but I’d rather be able to sit as far from Martha as possible.”

    Elderly Lady #1: “Ah, yes… we don’t like Martha. She talks so much you can never get a word in!”

    Related:
    Speak For Yourself


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