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    The Unfantastic Mr. Fox

    | United Kingdom |

    (A man comes up to me with a huge bag.)

    Customer: “Can I ask an odd question?”

    Me: “Go for it.”

    Customer: “Would it be okay for me to put my fox costume on and stand in the foyer?”

    Me: “Why?”

    Customer: “Just for pleasure. I enjoy doing it and the customers would enjoy seeing it.”

    Me: “I’ll just check with my manager.”

    (I phone the manager and repeat the request. The manager laughs for a few minutes and says no.)

    Me: “I’m afraid my manager has said it’s not okay.”

    Customer: *looks down sadly* “It’s okay. They said no everywhere else I asked too.” *walks away sadly, dragging the bag with his fox costume in*

    Missing Out On The Spectacle

    | Saco, ME, USA |

    (I am working at the theater for a 3D movie and giving out the glasses.)

    Customer: “The 3D isn’t working. I want a refund.”

    Me: “Oh, well it could just be a problem with the glasses. Let me give you a new pair.”

    Customer: “You mean I have to wear the glasses?”

    Customers Projections Can Leave You Reeling

    | California, USA |

    Customer: “Two for [movie].”

    Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am. We don’t have that film at this theater.”

    Customer: “Why don’t you have it?”

    Me: “I’m not sure. The decisions on where to play the films are made by corporate.”

    Customer: “But I’m here and I want to watch that movie.”

    Me: “Well, I can sell you a ticket to another movie.”

    Customer: “But I want to see that one! Can’t you just go get it? I’ll wait here.”

    A New Dimension of Stupidity

    | Ottawa, ON, Canada | Top

    (I pass the customer 3D glasses for his movie.)

    Customer: “So these are 3D glasses?”

    Me: “Yes sir!”

    Customer: *getting excited* “So, if I put them on and look at you, you’ll be in 3D?”

    Me: “Sir, by definition, I’m already 3D.”

    Customer: “No. I mean, if I put on 3D glasses and look at you, or anything else, will you become 3D?”

    Customer’s girlfriend: “You’re dumb. Just stop talking.”

    We Should Put A Cheesy Title Here But Then We’d Just Get Burned

    | Columbia, SC, USA |

    (A customer orders nachos and comes back 20 minutes later.)

    Customer: “Excuse me.”

    Me: “Can I help you?”

    Customer: “Yeah I just ordered these nachos and the cheese ain’t hot!”

    Me: “I’m sorry ma’am. The dispenser is supposed to keep the cheese hot.”

    Customer: “Well you see this?” *sticks finger in the cheese* “I should be burning myself right now!”


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